We here at ZPi often discuss advanced forms of mind control -- psychotronics, cerebrosonics, memetic engineering, etc. -- but we tend to neglect the simpler methods used to shape the public's perceptions and actions. One simple method governments use is to employ cartoon characters to inculcate the official state credenda into children, who will then grow up into subservient adults. While a rather primitive form of propaganda, it can nevertheless be very effective when applied to children brought up in a sufficiently orthonoidic society, such as the one we live in.
Unfortunately, even children raised in suspicious households are at risk as many paranoid parents, who have otherwise taken steps to protect their children's minds by using aluminumated cribs and installing MindGuard on the family computer, remain unaware of the sorts of government websites that are targeting their children.
To help bring to light these shadowy governmental kids sites, I'm introducing a new reoccurring installment I like to call Get To Know The Government Propaganda Mascots (GPM). Each installment will introduce a new propaganda mascot, highlighting its methods and deducing its agenda.
Our first GPM comes from the US National Security Agency (NSA) and he's called Crypto Cat. Crypto, a blue cat dressed in standard-issue NSA trench coat, is featured on the NSA/CSS Kids and Youth Page. Some of Crypto Cat's propagandistic activities include:
- Encourages kids to use an extremely insecure and obsolete substitution cipher instead of more advanced public key cryptography, thereby allowing the NSA to easily access all your child's secret plans.
- Recruits kids for paramilitary service with the promise of badges and a chance to play with WWII-era Enigma machines.
- Conspicuously notes the high percentage of Belgians in the NSA Police K9 Unit.
- Indoctrinates allegiance to said Belgians through sinister, cultish poetry:
Trust in me my friend for I am your comrade.
Together you and I shall experience
A bond only others like us will understand.
When outsiders see us together
Their envy will be measured by their disdain.
Thus, Crypto Cat's agenda is to both eliminate our ability to communicate privately and raise a military force proficient in math and codependently loyal to the Belgian Conspiracy.