'Map' of Belgium

The TRUTH About "Belgium"

The New World Order's Belgian Conspiracy

by Lyle Zapato

"Belgium Doesn't Exist!"

or "Land of Sprouts and Chocolate, I Think Not."

(or "België bestaat helemaal niet / La Belgique n'existe pas" for our imaginary friends)

For too long we have been told lies.

Belgian stamp
Postal Propaganda: Belgian "Super-man" squints hard to see his non-existent country. No such luck, Baudy.

The existence of the supposed European country of Belgium has been taken as gospel for years by members of the Liberati. It has long been held up as a shining example of Liberal philosophies in action. However, now is the time the truth be known. Belgium doesn't exist.

Belgium is, and has always been, a leftist ruse; a device applied to propagate the Liberal agenda throughout the world. Hijacking a real country for this use would be difficult at best; the people living there wouldn't stand for it (i.e. the fall of communism.) Thus the idea to invent an imaginary country, insert it into the global consciousness through the perversion of history, and use it as a tool of manipulation was born.

Atomium: how your 'Belgian superiors' live
A typical Belgian building... or so we're told.

Using the assumed voice of a nation, the Elite Left seeks to insinuate itself into world discussions, quietly changing the topic of conversations with a casual remark here, a whisper there. Need proof? The fictitious country was a founding member of the European Community (which is, as you should be aware, step one in the march to the One World Government,) most of who's governing institutions are supposedly based in Brussels. As are the headquarters of the Customs Cooperations Council (an Orwellian name if I ever heard one,) and other international bodies, unimportant and seemingly harmless now, that will have unaccountable jurisdiction to pass regulations and levy tariffs (read "taxation without representation") over any future global citizens.

The Elite Left have been hard at work dissimulating our reality. Through the deft use of relativism and red herrings like political correctness, they have been able to slip Belgium into history and geography without anyone noticing. The cleverness of this is almost laudable. Belgium history was designed with just enough territorial skirmishes, political struggles, and colonialism to make it blend in with the rest of Europe. That, combined with the co-opting of French and German historical figures and events creates an alternate history that meshes with the real one. Where does the contrivances stop and reality begin? What's more, under the auspices of the Liberal controlled Department of Education, our children are being forced to believe in these lies. History has been revised so many times that it's no wonder public schools want more money; they keep having to buy new history books!

Brussels sprouts
Brussels sprouts: was your mother part of the conspiracy?

Not only would the Left have us believe in the existence of Belgium, they would have us think their illusory nation is a Shangri-La. Typical of the Liberal Media, we have been inundated with pro-Belgium propaganda: Belgians' alleged superiority in the art of chocolate making; the reputed nutritional value of "Brussels sprouts"; how all quality diamonds can only be acquired through dealers in the mythical city of Antwerp; How french fries are actually a Belgian invention; and the "superior" martial artistry of Jean Claude Van Damme, the "Muscles from Brussels". Furthermore, Mystery! on PBS (need I say more?) regularly depicts Belgians -- such as Agatha Christie's "Hercule Poirot" -- as personable sleuths who always outsmart non-Belgians and uncover pro-Belgium versions of "The Truth."

Clinton using saxophone to create pro-Belgian cerebrosonic mind control
The saxophone, a supposedly Belgian instrument played by "cool" Liberals.

When will the Liberals learn that you cannot keep the real truth from us?

I can hear the Left now: "But how could the existence of an entire country, albeit a small one, be a hoax?" Radical art types will, of course, ramble on and on about Rubens, Van Dyck, and other assumed Belgian artists that they learned about in their "Liberal Education" (read Liberal Indoctrination.) Public school teachers would point out that if it weren't for Belgium, there would be a blank spot between France and Netherlands on our maps, forgetting that the data for our maps came from the CIA-controlled spy-satellites. Some aging hippies may even claim to have bought drugs there, but of what value are the delusions of a stoned counter-culturalist. They will all vehemently disagree with you if you DARE doubt the existence of Belgium. They actually believe in it.

The answer to how the sham of Belgium's existence could be pulled off is simple: we weren't vigilant enough. We let them gain the power over us needed to distort reality to fit their fiendish plans. But it's not too late. The truth can still be made known.

This monograph was originally published on a Cascadian BBS in 1995 and marked Lyle Zapato's first public writing. Additional facts and corrections have been added since, including the following sections...

"Belgian" Citizens: Who Are They Really?

The Shocking Truth Finally Exposed On The Internet!

You may now be asking yourself: "If Belgium doesn't exist, then who are all these people claiming to be Belgians?" Or, perhaps the question is more personal: "If Belgium doesn't exist, does that mean that I am not really a Belgian? What am I?" The answer to these questions is disturbing and may be difficult for those who have been indoctrinated into the Belgian lie to hear, yet it needs to be told.

Welcome to the real world, Belgians. The New World Order has you.
Belgian Citizen Pods beneath Euro-Disneyland.

"Belgian" citizens are actually innocent (for the most part) people (for the most part) that have been kidnapped by the New World Order's Belgian Conspiracy division and brainwashed using psychotronic mind control, psychotropically enhanced beer, and neurolinguistic programming into believing that they are Belgians. All memories of their past lives have been repressed -- replaced with implanted false memories of superior Belgian lives. Some of these Born Again Belgians are given cosmetic surgery and released back into the world population to spread propaganda about the existence of Belgium. The rest are taken to a large, underground complex beneath Euro-Disneyland where they are hooked up to a full-immersion VR computer network (known lovingly to the NWO as the "Brussels Beast") that interfaces directly with their brains' sensory centers to make them believe they are living their lives in Belgium (or the Belgium Simulation, as it is referred to by NWO memeticians).

'Belgian' citizen, imagined and real
How "Belgians" are programmed to view themselves (left) while in their citizen pods and how they really look (right, taken during recent extraction mission by French operatives. Liberated subject initially did not take well to hearing the TRUTH, but has since been deprogrammed and is living a normal life as a barista in Seattle.)

(Not everyone that the Belgian Conspiracy kidnaps ends up re-educated or enslaved. Tourists, business travelers, and other visitors are allowed to "come" to the "country" in order to "witness" its "existence." In reality, these people are waylaid at the common borders of Germany, France, the Netherlands, and Luxembourg and taken to NWO branch facilities where they have false memories of vast sprout fields and chocolate factory tours implanted. All flights claiming to be destined for Belgium in fact land at a secret NWO airfield in Luxembourg after their passengers have been sleep-gassed. Also, windows in planes flying over the area Belgium should be have been replaced with ultradefinition plasma screens to further the illusion.)

"Belgian" citizens are sad, deluded victims of a vast conspiracy -- little pewter schnauzers and top hats doomed to live out play-lives as they loop endlessly 'round the Monopoly board of false places that is the Belgium Simulation. While they are helping evil forces by perpetuating the belief that Belgium is real (and by writing annoying pro-Belgium emails to messengers of the TRUTH such as myself) they are not doing so of their own free will. They need our help. And although their programming causes them to react violently to these uncomfortable truths, they can be helped.

If any "Belgian" citizen manages to read this through the Brussels Beast's firewall, know that we can extract you and offer you amnesty and a real life in the Republic of Cascadia. Contact me and I'll make the arrangements.

Belgium = Be

Over Compensating For A Lack Of Being

Dot Be
The Belgian "Federal Logo".

Belgium has conveniently managed to wind up with the two-letter ISO 3166-1 country code BE, which is used for everything from their top-level Internet domain to tracking FedEx packages shipped into the "country" (NWO operatives in FedEx use the code to route the packages under Euro-Disneyland). Besides being at the end of the address of every website "hosted" in the "country," this code is also featured prominently on the official Belgium website (i.e. belgium.be), as the site's -- if not Belgium's -- logo.

The choice of this code was no coincidence. By associating Belgium with "be", Belgian Conspiracy memeticists are trying to inculcate the "country" into being. Their primary goal is to have one think "be" whenever one sees the word "Belgium", causing a cognitive fusion with the verb "to be" that will result in one believing that Belgium exists. Furthermore, they hope that "be" will become so totally linked with Belgium that one can't disassociate the two, leading to the breakdown of the separate concept of "being" and the acceptance of their new concept of "Belgiuming". At that point, Belgium -- or more specifically, the Belgian Conspiracy -- will define existence, and the very reality of all things non-Belgian will be in doubt.

Frequently Asked Questions

Answering insinuating questions posed by the Conspiracy...

When confronted with the Truth about Belgium, agents of the Belgian Conspiracy, including the brainwashed Belgian citizens themselves, come out of the woodwork to ask many loaded questions designed to instill TAF (Trust, Assuredness, and Faith, the opposite of FUD) in the public about Belgium's existence. Here are the answers to some of the common ones:

If Belgium doesn't exist, then what's in its location on the map?

There is nothing there! France shares a border with the Netherlands. Notice how Belgium is depicted as being wedge shaped? They simply pulled apart the French border from the coast all the way to Luxembourg and slipped Belgium in. Since they control the maps, no one notices the geographic inconsistencies arising from the spatial compressions and deformations needed to make it fit, the effects of which are subtle since they are spread over a large area: the ratio of actual distances to distances stated on maps and road signs increases by a gradual curve as you approach the France-Netherlands/Germany border from Paris to the west and Hannover to the east.

Where do the waffles come from?

"Belgian Waffles," fabled for being superior to normal waffles, were introduced to North America by an agent of the conspiracy in Seattle in 1962. (Belgians claim that the waffles were first introduced during Expo 58 in Brussels, along with the improbable Atomium building, but, of course, Expo 58 never took place and is a historical fiction.)

During Seattle's Century 21 Exposition, self-proclaimed "Belgian" Chef Walter Cleyman managed the "Belgian Waffle House" where he used the sugary treat as part of a conditioning program to convince people Belgium existed. After having perfected his conditioning skills on Seattleites, Cleyman took his program to the 1964 World's Fair in New York, where he sold the then-called Brussels or "Bel-Gem" waffles inside the four-acre Belgium Village, a "recreation" of a 19th century Belgium village (actually, this was the first time in history that a Belgian village had ever been physically constructed).

Belgian Conspiracy Blog

Examples of Belgian Propaganda

Their insidious lies have spread everywhere...

Belgium Doesn't Exist! Gift & Subversion Shop

Products to help you spread the TRUTH... or undermine the Conspiracy from within!

Visit the Belgium Doesn't Exist! Cafepress store for these quality products...

'The Belgian... He thinks he is superior to you.' 'Belgium Doesn't Exist!' bumpersticker Oval 'BE' sticker

Heretical Geography Links

"Those that control the maps, control reality." - Walt Disney, NWO memetician

Heretical Chronology Links

"Those that control the calendars, control the future." - Holy Roman Emperor Otto III