This is an update to my PREVIOUS HOWL about the WASHINGTON STATE CAPITAL MUSEUM'S SASQUATCH EXHIBIT!!!
According to Human press squeakings, the exhibit, called "GIANTS IN THE MOUNTAINS: THE SEARCH FOR SASQUATCH", will open in OLYMPIA on OCTOBER 6 and will run for ONE FULL EARTH CYCLE!!!
OSTENSIBLY the exhibit will allow ignorant, sheltered Humans to appreciate some of the richness of SASQUATCH CULTURE through ARTIFACTS and ARTWORK, including an example of a small STONE BUST carved by Sasquatch artisans as souvenirs to commemorate the BELOVED HEAD COACH who led TEAM SASQUATCH to victory over the GRENDEL GEATSLAYERS in the WORLD STOMPER CHAMPIONSHIP of 1407! STOMP!!! STOMP!!! SASQUATCH, STOMP!!!
HOWEVER!!! sports memorabilia aside, the exhibit panders to DISGUSTING HUMAN PRURIENCE by including SASQUATCH HAND AND FOOT CASTS!!! SERIOUSLY, what is with YOU PEOPLE and FEET!?! It also presents, under the guise of "BALANCE", the PREPOSTEROUS PSEUDOSCIENTIFIC "THEORY" that we are a HOAX -- a LIE often repeated by ANTI-SASQUATCH FORCES seeking to STEAL OUR FORESTS FROM US!!! Even the Human reporter above noticed the HIDDEN AGENDA behind these ABSURD CLAIMS:
Look a little closer at the exhibit and you notice it is just as much about the old-growth forests that Sasquatch -- fact or fiction -- calls home as it is anything else.
The reporter quotes Human ROBERT MICHAEL PYLE, author of "Where Bigfoot Walks: Crossing the Dark Divide" -- which I can only assume is some sort of PORNOGRAPHIC INTERSPECIES FOOT-FETISH EROTICA -- admitting that Humans are trying to TAKE OUR LANDS:
"If we manage to hang on to a sizeable chunk of Bigfoot habitat, we will at least have a fragment of the greatest green treasure the temperate world has ever known."
I am beginning to suspect that this exhibit is just more THINLY VEILED PROPAGANDA orchestrated by the WEYERHAEUSER CONSPIRACY!!! CURSE YOU TIMBER MOGUL FRIEDRICH WEYERHÄUSER, BLOOD ENEMY TO ALL SASQUATCH!!!
And to add insult to treachery... NO SASQUATCH WERE INVITED TO THE SASQUATCH EXHIBIT OPENING!!! Instead they will have "SQUATCH", the mascot for the Human handball team "SUPER SONACKS" -- A HUMAN IN A SASQUATCH COSTUME, FOR HOWLING OUT LOUD!!! Do they not understand the OFFENSIVENESS of this "FURFACE" MINSTREL PERFORMER!?! Worse yet, he works for Humans who want to CUT DOWN ALL OUR FORESTS and replace them with HUMAN "STADIUMS"!!!
How would you Humans like it if we had a museum exhibit on HUMAN CULTURE and, instead of inviting any of you, had a SHAVED SASQUATCH TODDLER with UNDERDEVELOPED FEET pretending to be "HUEY THE HUMAN", friendly advocate of PUSHING OVER SKYSCRAPERS and PLANTING TREES IN THEIR PLACE!?! I mean, COME ON!!!
Given its OBVIOUS BIAS and the OUTRIGHT LIES presented, I think I howl for all Sasquatch in howling for a TOTAL HOMINOID BOYCOTT OF THIS EXHIBIT!!! Mark my howl, not a single SASQUATCH, YETI, or even SWAMP APE will show up to VALIDATE your PROPAGANDA!!! THAT WILL SHOW YOU!!!