Blythe Kelvinmas!

What is Kelvinmas?

The Lord Kelvin

Kelvinmas is the day—which is the 26th of June—that we celebrate the birth of the Earthly Incarnation of The Lord Kelvin (praised be His name!), the Creator and Caretaker of this Universe and any other Universes that may be. It is the most important Holy day for all Kelvinians.

What is the Story of Kelvinmas?

Not that long ago in 1824, in the little town of Belfast, was born the Infant Lord Kelvin, who came to us in mortal form so that He may teach us of His wisdom and the Truth about His creations.

Meanwhile, in a field far away in Scotland, a humble horse wrangler was visited by a Wave in the Æther, sent by The Lord Kelvin.

"Lo! The Lord Kelvin is born into the Flesh in Belfast! Telegraph the Good News to the World!" instructed the Waving Æther.

"But there is no such thing as a 'telegraph'" replied the confused wrangler, "and if there was, how could it possibly be used to communicate with people in distant lands across the seas with their mighty tides?"

"Soon enough will there be, and the Infant Lord will instruct you in its use, and deliver unto you the means to measure those very Tides and the means to navigate them so that you may overcome them! Go and welcome your Lord!" proclaimed the Æther.

The wrangler immediately made the pilgrimage to Belfast and found the residence of the humble Thomson family, into which The Lord Kelvin was Born.

"I am but a simple wrangler and I have come to pay reverence to my Lord, Kelvin!" he said, and was brought before the Infant Lord.

"O, Lord," the wrangler said, "I feel as if my life were decaying into uselessness. Do you offer a simple wrangler such as myself—or even all of Humanity—any way to escape this fate?"

The Baby Kelvin cooed and the wrangler understood the answer was "YES!".

Thereafter, many more heard the Good News of The Lord Kelvin's arrival among us and sought Him out that they may learn His wisdom and be Conserved from Entropy.

How does one celebrate Kelvinmas?

Kelvinmas is a time to spend with family and friends rejoicing in the non-entropic Love of the Lord Kelvin through readings of His words, practicing Kelvinic Meditation, and partaking in festivities, thermodynamics experiments, and meaningful rituals.

The most popular Kelvinmas ritual is the cyclical exchanging of gifts from those with gifts to those without gifts until everyone has an equal amount of gifts, none of which they have any use for. By this we recognize the fate which The Lord Kelvin (in His Infinite Beneficence) has offered us an escape from—namely Entropy.

Kids especially enjoy the many fun activities and sights associated with Kelvinmas—first and foremost, Kelvinmas is a Holiday for the young and young at heart—that not only entertain but also teach young minds the awesome wisdom of the Kelvin Consciousness. Whether it be the gaiety of spinning of tops or twinkling wonder of crystalline ice sculptures, children learn the Living Love of The Lord Kelvin through the customs of Kelvinmas.

Another very popular Kelvinmas festivity is the feast of haggis, the traditional meal of The Lord Kelvin's Earthly Chair of Scotland. The Kelvinmas feast serves to bring together the family at one place in humble reverence of The Lord Kelvin—much as a simple wrangler once was brought to Belfast. This togetherness in the Love of The Lord Kelvin is something that is often missing in our fast-paced modern world.

Kelvinmas is also a time to spread the teachings of The Lord Kelvin to the masses yearning to be Conserved. This can be done by going door-to-door in your neighborhood, bedecked in the regalia of knots and crystals, singing Kelvinmas carols such as O Come All Ye Thermo, Go Telegraph It Across the Atlantic, and Deck the Halls With Knots of Aether.

How can I learn more about the Lord Kelvin?

Please visit the Kelvin is Lord! page to learn more about the Love of our Lord and how you too can escape the Heat Death of the Soul that is Entropy.

Holy Knot