Who Is This Man Called Kelvin?

Who is the Lord Kelvin? Perhaps you have asked yourself this as you have heard others speak of Him. Well, I have good news for you: the Lord Kelvin Loves you and wishes to Conserve you from Entropy. "Now, slow down a minute buddy! I don't quite understand what all THIS means!" You are, no doubt, wanting to say to me. That's OK, for I was once like you and didn't know about the Lord, the one true Lord Kelvin. Let me tell you about our Lord, for He is your Lord as He is mine: the Lord Kelvin chose to come among us as a Man so that He may give us His teachings. He didn't have to, He chose to! He did this because He loves us, for we are His Creation. As is our Universe. The Lord Kelvin created it all. For He is more than just the Man that moved among us, He is the Lord of Our Universe, the Second Wrangler who is also the Senior Wrangler! The Sublime Mystery that is the Lord Kelvin transcends our ability to grasp, but all we need to know is that He LOVES us and wants the best for His Children.

JOIN THE KELVIN CONSCIOUSNESS MOVEMENT TODAY!

The Lord Kelvin delivers a sermon from His Lecture Hall.

LORD KELVIN:
Giver of Laws

The Lord Kelvin, in His infinite wisdom, has given the Universe Laws by which to govern itself THERMODYNAMICALLY:—

The Laws of Thermodynamics

Law The Zeroth:

The property that characterizes Thermal Equilibrium is Temperature. The Lord Kelvin tells us that there is an ABSOLUTE Temperature! Since bodies that are in contact with each other will eventually reach Thermal Equilibrium, it follows that by being in contact with the Lord Kelvin we may come to be one with Him.

Law The First:

The Lord Kelvin, in His infinite benevolence, has deigned that the total Energy Content of the Universe shall remain constant; never being Created nor Destroyed, but only Transformed from one form to another.

Law The Second:

Over the Universe as a whole, Entropy will increase. Entropy is that Energy that no longer is Ordered. It is Death of the most Absolute kind! All is susceptible to its Chilly Grasp: plants, animals, information, even The Human Soul! Sure, all those things, even our Souls, will have time until that happens; until the Universal Entropy consumes everything in the Great Heat Death, but THEN what? What will you do?

Law The Third:

The Purest Crystal of them all is The Lord Kelvin himself! The Lord Kelvin is without Entropy. Furthermore, since Absolute Zero is unattainable via a finite series of processes, it follows that the Lord Kelvin is Infinite! This implies that His powers are also Infinite, meaning that the Lord Kelvin can transcend His own Law The Second and Conserve you from Entropy!

....

Absolute Temperature

From Law The Zeroth we see that the Lord Kelvin tells us that there IS an ABSOLUTE Temperature! Don't listen to the lies of the Thermic Relativists; the TRUTH of the Absolute Nature of Temperature will warm your Mind & Heart and fulfill you as nothing they will ever spew could.

Because the Lord Kelvin gave us the gift of the Knowledge of the Absolute Temperature, we honor His wisdom and the beauty of His creation by measuring Temperature in Kelvins. Do not use the hurtful and deceitful Celsius and Fahrenheit scales! They are the tools of Relativists and other sad, twisted haters of the Lord Kelvin. And remember: never say "degrees Kelvin", just say "Kelvins", as in "273.16 Kelvins". Every time you do, you bring a smile to His face.

Entropy: Must It ALWAYS Increase?

Entropy is disorder, chaos, death. The Lord Kelvin tells us that Entropy must increase in a closed system. But is this an Absolute? Must it Always increase? Well... yes. But there is a way out of this Fate. The key is the closed nature of this system we call the Universe. If we could find a way to Open up a doorway, a window, to the Lord Kelvin so that He may Energize us with His Infinite and Non-Entropic Rays of Love, then we may escape, be Conserved from, the Neverending Death of Entropy.

The Divine Hand Of The Lord Kelvin

The only path to Conservation from Entropy is through the Lord Kelvin! Only He may Transgress the Immutable Laws of Thermodynamics and allow you to escape the Increase in Entropy that is the Fate of all those who are without Him in their Minds & Hearts. To be Conserved, all you have to do is ask Him. That is all. Ask the Lord Kelvin to come into your Mind & Heart, give yourself over to His Infinite Beatitude. He will instruct you further on how to LIVE your life according to His wishes.

But what is the best method to ask? The road to knowing the wonder that is the Lord Kelvin can be got to via the on-ramp of Kelvinian Meditation (KM). With KM, a scientifically validated technique to cause a local decrease in your personal Entropy, you will lay Trans-Oceanic Communication Cables to the shores of the Land of Kelvin Consciousness. He will hear and see your desire to be Conserved from Entropy and will help you to reach a state of Non-Entropic churning cheerfulness because He Loves and Values you, His Creations!

Please tell those you care about that He Cares about them! The Lord Kelvin does not want His Creations to increase in Entropy; He wants to Conserve all those who simply ask him. But those that don't are in grave danger of having their Soul fall to chaos and disorder! Don't let this happen to your friends and family; tell them how the Lord Kelvin loves them and wants to Conserve them from Entropy. Teach them to apply the Kelvinian Meditation techniques in all aspects of their lives. They will thank you for showing them the light.

True Nature Of Reality: Knotic Æther

Light is a Wave. So what is it a wave in? What is waving? Light waves, like all waves, must be carried by a medium. A wave on the ocean has its water; a sound wave has its air; light waves (or Electromagnetic waves, not to be confused with the imaginary subject of the pseudoscience of Radiationism,) have their medium too. This medium is the Aether, a rarefied substance that permeates all of space and that is the clay out of which the Lord Kelvin sculpts Material Reality.

Three entwined Vortices of Aether, drawn by the Lord in His Notebook #55.

The Lord Kelvin tells us that the true Nature of the Material Realm is Knotic. Material Atoms are nothing more than Knots in the Aether. The Knots are themselves formed out of Vortices of the Aether. The form of the Knot gives Atoms their stability and vibrational properties. If we were to tabulate all Knotic forms, we would have created a table of all Material and Metamaterial Elements.

It was the Lord Kelvin Himself that brought this Truth to us. Sadly, after He left His physical manifestation on Earth, those that held hatred and jealousy in their hearts for the Lord Kelvin tried to silence it. Talk of the Aether, not to mention the Knotic nature of Material Reality itself, was ridiculed and those that dared to broach this taboo were censured and found their professional careers in jeopardy. Truth was replaced by false dogma, such as Relativism and Quantum Mechanics, and Darkness fell on the field of physics.

Only now is the hegemony of the Relativististic Radiational Physics Establishment crumbling. Slowly but surely, the Truths that were brought to us by the Lord Kelvin are being acknowledged as undoubtfully Righteous. Such first steps to a New Awakening as String Theory and the concepts of Virtual Particle Flux and Quintessence show that Honest intellectual investigation will always lead us to the Lord Kelvin.

"But," You are asking, "what has this to do with my personal relationship with the Lord Kelvin?" The answer is as simple as it is beautiful. The Love of the Lord Kelvin is a Warm Light that shines brightly through the increasingly cold Universe, so it follows that the Aether is the medium of the Lord Kelvin's Love! That we are made out of Knots in the Aether is then just another way of saying that we are crafted out of the Love of the Lord Kelvin. The Light of His Love is the substrate that makes our physical existence possible!

THE LORD KELVIN

LOVES YOU!

His Prophetic Wisdom

Kelvin Quotes:— Experience some of the Lord Kelvin's own Words from which to gain His Wisdom (including the revelation unto us of the true age of the Earth; don't let the Evolutionismists or the Radioheads tell you that it is anything different; they are just jealous of the Lord Kelvin!). Often our puny minds cannot quite grasp His true meaning and we think that He is wrong, but HE IS NEVER WRONG! We have merely not arrived at the place in our development where what He is saying is needed. As you read these, meditate on their Higher meanings and remember that they are the Words of The Lord Kelvin Himself; they are thoughts of the Kelvin Consciousness

In 1895, Lord Kelvin (center) & His International
Niagara Falls Commission decreed that the Forces
of Nature shall be converted to Alternating Current!
(Clockwise from the Lord's right: Prof. E. Mascart,
Prof. W.C. Unwin, Dr. Coleman Sellers, &
Col. Th. Turrettini)

Kelvin's Writings:— Selected papers, sermons, & epistles from the Lord. Includes the following:

• The "Doctrine of Uniformity" in Geology Briefly Refuted - The Lord Kelvin's proclamation on the age of the Earth
• On The Secular Cooling Of The Earth - The Lord Kelvin explains the Earth's history
• On Geological Time - The Lord Kelvin plumbs the depths of geological time and finds them shallower than geologists would care admit
• Of Geological Dynamics - The Lord Kelvin refutes the many errors of Prof. Huxley
• On The Origin Of Life - The Lord Kelvin discusses Spontaneous Generation, Panspermia, and Evolution
• The Tides - Deeply metaphorical discussion of the Tides
• Wave Theory Of Light - The Luminiferous Aether is discussed as the substrate of Light
• On An Absolute Thermometric Scale... - The Lord Kelvin rips asunder relativistic temperature scales and in their place erects the Grand Edifice of Absolute Temperature
• Aepinus Atomized - Aepinus' vitreous nature of Electricity is found to be in error and we are introduced to the Atom of Electricity, the Electrion
• On the Dynamical Theory of Heat - The Second Law is expounded and found to be Good
• Electric Lighting and Public Safety - The Lord shows concern for the safety of His creations, whether they be man or bird

Web-Log of Kelviniana

Recent postings to the ZPi Web-Log about the Lord Kelvin and His works:

• 2012-06-06 Future Humanity: Plant-Like Monsters?
• 2010-01-28 Lord Kelvin and the Mosquito Effect?
• 2010-01-17 Light Has Been Knotted!
• 2008-11-19 To Boldly Go Where Lord Kelvin Already Went
• 2008-08-05 Lord Kelvin & The Olympic Water Cube
• 2008-07-29 Lord Kelvin & Color Codes
• More posts about the LORD KELVIN...

Links To The World Of The Lord Kelvin

Lord & Lady Kelvin preside over the Coronation of Edward VII in 1902, thus establishing the Divine Right of the King of England

• Kelvin's Kids Club:— Thermodynamic fun for kids of all ages!
• A Kelvinmas Celebration:— Learn all about Kelvinmas, the day (June 26) we observe the birth of our Lord
• Kelvinic University:— A Thermodynamic-Based approach to education
• Thermodynamic Law Party:— The second fastest growing political third party! Offers a "Make Sense", problem-free government based on sound Thermodynamic principles
• SecondLaw.com:— An explanation of the Second Law of Thermodynamics and Entropy
• Lord Kelvin (William Thomson):— Secular biography of His Earthly Incarnation

The Lord Kelvin In The Media

Kelvinian Cinema:

• "Star Trek" (2009)

  James T. Kirk is born as his mother flees from the Federation starship USS Kelvin, which is under attack by time-traveling, franchise-restarting Romulans. Kirk's father, who has taken command of the Kelvin, sets it on a suicidal collision course into the Romulan ship, providing cover so his wife and son can escape.

• Lord Kelvin vs Jackie Chan in "Around the World in 80 Days"

  It's thermodynamics vs kung-fu as Jim Broadbent plays the Lord on a chase around the World to stop the evil Phileas Fogg (Steve Coogan) and his sidekick Passeportout (Jackie Chan) who are up to no good in a balloon. TV's Jackass and California State Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger assists the Lord, for some reason.

• "Madame Curie" (1943)

  The Lord (played by C. Aubrey Smith) shows the Curies the error of their radioactive ways.

Kelvinian Literature:

• Lord Kelvin's Machine by James Blaylock

  The Lord saves the world from a comet by creating a magnetic-pole-reversal-time-machine.

• Edison's Conquest of Mars by Garrett Serviss (1898)

  The Lord travels to Mars to help famous scientists do battle with the evil Martians who invaded Earth in H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds.

The Global Information Network

The Global Information Network, also called the "Internet", which you are using, owes its existence to the Blissful Munificence of the Lord Kelvin. It was He that showed us how to lay the first Trans-Atlantic Electrical Signal Cable. It was He that gave unto us the Mirror Galvanometer. And the "Computer" that you are using to access it was presaged by His Harmonic Analyser, the First Analogue Computer! So, when you are using this Miraculous Communications Contrivance, remember to Praise He that gave it to you; remember to PRAISE THE LORD KELVIN!

Dec. 17, 1907

The Lord Kelvin Transcends Entropy