Bureau of Sasquatch Affairs

Unfortunately, many Sasquatch and other Cascadian hominoids do not have Internet access, limiting their ability to take advantage of the wealth of information that humans have been enjoying for years. In order to rectify this inequality and keep Sasquatch from missing out on the Information Revolution, the Bureau of Sasquatch Affairs - in conjunction with the Cascadian Communications Commission - is pleased to announce Hominoidnet.

Hominoidnet will offer free Internet access to all Cascadian hominoids via kiosks installed throughout our national forests. All Sasquatch and registered hominoid immigrants will receive - free of barter - a smart card which allows them to use the kiosks by simply inserting it into a slot (human hikers and campers may also use the kiosks, however they will be charged via credit card).

The Hominoidnet kiosk features hominoid-friendly touchscreens as well as a robust keyboard scaled for hominoid hands, making it easy to use for even the least techno-savvy Sasquatch. Hominoidnet users will be able to access websites, email, chat, and other Internet services. Furthermore, Hominoidnet allows access to exclusive hominoid content not available on the regular Internet, including ehowl audio messaging, barter quotes, Sasquatch Press news, and access to BSA services.

To start using Hominoidnet, go to your local BSA branch office and request a smart card. Kiosks are already being installed in many locations and once you have your card you can use them right away. While the Hominoidnet is still under construction, plans call for at least one kiosk per 20 hominoids spread throughout Cascadia, ensuring that you'll be able to use the Hominoidnet whenever you please. To find a kiosk near you, either check the map at the BSA office or howl for assistance.