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Lyle Zapato

Jiu-Jitsu Move #2

Lyle Zapato | 2007-10-07.2340 LMT | Defensive Techniques | Random Found Thing

ARRESTING A POLICEMAN.

Some time it may become necessary to arrest a policeman; and in that event, all you have to do is to carry out the following instructions with celerity and precision.

A Weak Spot in 'Copper'

Get on his left side, a little at the rear, (1) with your right hand catch hold of the lower end of his club which hangs in his belt at the left side, and turn it outward to the left and upward, so that it will bear across his left arm just above the elbow; while you are doing this with the right hand, catch hold of his left wrist with your left hand, holding his arm back against his club, to keep it straight, and with your right hand push the top end or handle of the club against his left side, just above, and slightly in front of the pelvis bone on No. 11, ill. A., as per illustration. This hurts terribly in two places; the middle of his arm and at the end of the club in his flank. Be careful of the latter point. It is one of the knock-outs of JIU-JITSU and apt to cause collapse.

The writer asked permission to try this experiment, just for practice, on a New York policeman, and after grasping his left wrist and turning up the club in the above manner, as if it were one motion, the officer was asked what there was for him to do in a case like that. He replied, between gasps of pain, that there was nothing he could do without breaking his arm or killing himself.

From Jiu-jitsu: A Comprehensive and Copiously Illustrated Treatise (1904), p. 63-64, by Harry Hall Skinner.

Lyle Zapato

Jiu-Jitsu Move #1

Lyle Zapato | 2007-10-06.2900 LMT | Defensive Techniques | Random Found Thing

OYA UBI SHIME or Thumb Grip.

No. 4--Oh My!

Suppose you catch B's right thumb round the waist, just below the first joint, holding it tightly well down in the crotch between your right thumb and first finger, pull and press the ends of your fingers down into the base of his thumb at the back of the hand, he will probably drop to his knees, to save his thumb. See illustration.

Remember that in a rough-and-tumble fight or scuffle, when you can get one of these grips on your man, he is helpless. Always "look pleasant" and keep cool. This is often half the battle.

From Jiu-jitsu: A Comprehensive and Copiously Illustrated Treatise (1904), p. 13, by Harry Hall Skinner.

Lyle Zapato

A Lesson In Street Defense

Lyle Zapato | 2007-10-05.1613 LMT | Defensive Techniques | Random Found Thing

No. 1.—AN OPPONENT THREATENS TO START A FIGHT WITH ME

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Radical Sasquatch

HOWL: 1930-40s ANTI-SASQUATCH PROPAGANDA!!!

Radical Sasquatch | 2007-03-26.2950 LMT | Sasquatch Issues

Using the Hominoidnet, I have uncovered ANTI-SASQUATCH PROPAGANDA published in Human news-papers from the 1930s and 1940s! Here is a BLATANT EXAMPLE from 1934:

'Are they the LAST CAVE MEN?'
REDUCED, EDITED VERSION -- CLICK FOR FULL ARTICLE (192 Kio)!!!

First of all: WE DO NOT LIVE IN CAVES!!! That is a VICIOUS LIE that was spread in an attempt to DENY us our RIGHTFUL FORESTS!!! Second: WE DO NOT LOOK LIKE THAT!!! Thirdly: WE ARE NOT THE STRANGE ONES!!! Fourthly: I am certain that the Human in the floaty thing -- TOM CEDAR!!! -- must have been UP TO NO GOOD if that Sasquatch hurled boulders at him! WE DO NOT WASTE GOOD THROWIN' BOULDERS IN THE WATER WITHOUT A REASON!!! But the Human media makes TOM CEDAR sound all INNOCENT and VICTIMIZED!!! Typical!

MORE EXAMPLES OF ANTI-SASQUATCH PROPAGANDA FROM THE '30S AND '40S...

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Lyle Zapato

Physiognomics As She Is Spoke

Lyle Zapato | 2006-09-25.7000 LMT | Random Found Thing | Miscellaneous
George Morland
Aquasorbitiveness large.
George Morland, a talented painter, who died as he had lived, a great drunkard.

The 1871 book A New Physiognomical Chart by Joseph Simms, M.D. presents an original physiognomic classification system based on over 100 faculties -- such as characterioscopicity, computationumericality, and physiœlpidicity -- discernable by a combination of body types and facial features.

Each faculty is given an entry that includes a descriptive physiognomic characteristic; a grading scale from 1 to 12; methods to increase or decrease ones grade, should one choose; and illustrations of individuals who exemplify the faculty, positively or negatively.

While some of the faculty names are still in usage (e.g. "ambitiousness" and "credulousness" -- which Simms conveniently considers a faculty worthy of promotion), most are all but lost to the Internet (The Phrontistery doesn't even have a list!)

So, for the sake of huntatative types who wish to expand their linguastiveness, find grist for their salitive mill, or are just trying to tell their temporinaturalitiveness from their temporimechanicality, here's a glossary of select physiognomic faculties (those with high degrees of both amicitiveness and ordinimentality, please feel free to add these words to Wiktionary to edify future generations of physiognomicists):

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Lyle Zapato

Carpetbagging Monorailists: A Cascadian Tradition

Lyle Zapato | 2005-11-29.2150 LMT | Monorail Danger | Cascadia | Technology

There was a story on Evening Magazine last night about "The Northwest's 10 Greatest Unsolved Mysteries". Besides yet again bringing up D.B. Cooper -- whom you should all just forget you ever heard about -- it had one topical mystery I had somehow missed: the details surrounding a prototype monorail built on the Tacoma tideflats in 1910 or 1911.

William H. Boyes monorail prototype, from monorails.org

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Lyle Zapato

Edison's Conquest of Mars

Lyle Zapato | 2005-11-14.5800 LMT | Kelviniana | Entertainment | Technology

As previously mentioned, Edison's Conquest of Mars by Garrett P. Serviss is an unauthorized 1898 sequel to H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds. Unauthorized by Wells, that is. It was authorized by Thomas A. Edison, and the story reads like an Edison promotional vehicle (which it essentially was):


Edison reveals his inventions to the assembled leaders of Earth, including the insufferable Kaiser Wilhelm -- curse his handlebar moustache!

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Lyle Zapato

Protection Against Spray Attack

Lyle Zapato | 2005-06-29.2480 LMT | Random Found Thing | Black Helicopters
Pin-up girl in gas mask and plastic bag attacking gas-spraying Japanese zero with a rifle - 'Protection Against Spray Attack'

Little Known Secret Weapons of WWII: An elite contingent of the USO made up of specially equipped pin-up girls was created in order to protect Iowa from miniature Imperial Japanese poison-gas fighters -- primitive forerunners of modern black helicopters.

UPDATE: More details about this image and what happened to the modeled spray-attack-bags after the war...

Lyle Zapato

Victorian 3D Scientific Imaging

Lyle Zapato | 2005-02-08.0310 LMT | Kelviniana | Technology

Looking for some content for your iPod-Stereoscope? Here's an illustration from Lord Kelvin's 1894 paper "On Homogeneous Division of Space":


Stereoscopic photo of an orthic tetrakaidecahedron, constructed out of soldered wire.

Cross your eyes to see cutting-edge 19th century scientific imaging technology! I have exchanged the images left for right from the original since I find crossing my eyes easier than forcing them apart. The original presumably would have been viewed using a stereoscope, a common gizmo for the Victorian-era techno-hipster...

Victorian stereoscope advertisement, as filtered through Apple

Since it took an inordinate amount of time to make the above image, I'll have to put off retyping Kelvin's paper till later. It's an interesting one, with some nice illustrations of tessellations. Until then, busy yourself with making your own tetrakaidecahedra. See how many rooms of your house you can fill!

UPDATE: "On Homogeneous Division of Space" is online.

Lyle Zapato

Cake Decorating Of Yesteryear

Lyle Zapato | 2005-01-20.1800 LMT | Random Found Thing | Food


Figure 1: The seductive appeal of scalloping.

From Magic for Your Table... Cake & Food Decorating By Wilton, published in 1971. It's sort of a combination cake decorating HOWTO and product catalog from Wilton Enterprises, Inc. (now Wilton Industries). Could there be retro-wackiness inside?

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