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Lyle Zapato

How To Hypnotize An Octopus

Lyle Zapato | 2011-05-06.8839 LMT | Cephalopods | Defensive Techniques | Nature

A while back I posted a book excerpt explaining how to defend oneself against a charging land octopus. It advised throttling them at the neck. But it turns out there's a more effective, and less violent, method to deal with belligerent octopuses: hypnotism.

Hypnotized octopus in hand.
Fig. 1: The proper Danilewskian method for
hypnotizing small to medium sized octopuses.

Read more...

Lyle Zapato

The New 2012 Russian Aluminum Shielded Enclosures

Lyle Zapato | 2010-12-28.9660 LMT | Aluminum | Technology

Russia has always been less than secretive about mind control technology. Their president shows up to psychotron manufacturer trade-shows for photo-ops and here's a common protest one sees on the streets of Moscow:


2007-05-01 rally against the Russian government's use of Moscow
apartments as "psychotronic gulags" (more pics & info in Russian).

Given the apparent psychotronic state of housing in Russia, it's not surprising that many there are interested in Aluminum Shielded Enclosures (ASEs) that fit inside their homes and protect them from the government's piped-in mind-control. It's also not surprising that one Russian man hopes to get rich by selling them for $US 80,000 each:

As tempted as nouveau riche Muscovites might by to splurge on such an extravagant ASE, I would urge them to reconsider. As every paranoid knows, you shouldn't buy AFDBs pre-built since they could've been tampered with to make them susceptible to the creators' specially tuned signals. With ASEs it's no different.

For all we know, Mr. [Name-I-Can't-Quite-Make-Out] could be in league with Rasputnik Psychotron Works and he designed his "Doomsday Capsule" to be transparent to signals from their new Mark VIII pistol as part of a vendor lock-in scheme to get Medvedev to upgrade his arsenal as apartment dwellers become increasingly unreachable. (Mind you, I'm suggesting this only as a conspiracy theory, not a conspiracy fact. He could be an honest paranoid -- but one can't be too careful about these things.)

It's also suspicious that he never mentions the obviously anti-psychotronic purpose of his product, instead focusing on geological and meteorological upheavals many assume will coincide with the 2012 arrival of the periodical Quetzalcoatlus armada. Or maybe that's just media censorship.

In any case, there's no reason not to save money and your mind by building your own ASE. All you need is a sealable structure you can isolate from the walls, floor, and ceiling of your home (an old refrigerator on cinderblocks works in a pinch if you're not too claustrophobic) and lots and lots of aluminum foil with which to enclose it. Just remember: leave no unaluminumed surfaces, overlap your seams, and make sure they're secured with duct tape. With just a few easy steps you'll finally stop hearing the voice of Putin in your head.

Lyle Zapato

The Modern Paranoid Home

Lyle Zapato | 2010-03-24.5726 LMT | Aluminum

Padded aluminum room

This Aluminum Shielded Enclosure has all the amenities a modern paranoid would need. More photos below.

Read more...

Lyle Zapato

AFDBs At Walmart

Lyle Zapato | 2009-12-07.5590 LMT | Aluminum | Fashion | Crass Commercialism

Walmart shopper wearing AFDB
A member of Freedom from Covert Harassment & Surveillance,
covertly harassed & surveilled by People of Walmart.

If you must go to Walmart, an AFDB is a necessity. Camouflaging it would probably be a good idea too, especially if you want to avoid the All-Seeing Eye of the Internet Hate Machine.

Seriously, can't a paranoid pick up some Faded Glory tees, a case of Dr. Thunder, and some Great Value aluminum foil without being harassed & surveilled?

Lyle Zapato

AFDBs On Fringe

Lyle Zapato | 2009-11-13.2880 LMT | Aluminum | Entertainment | Fashion

The most recent episode of the TV show Fringe, "Of Human Action", was about a kid taking military-grade psychotronic drugs who gains the ability to control minds with only his bare thoughts. Near the end (35:00), Dr. Walter Bishop and his assistant, Astrid, wear AFDBs -- not to block the kid's mind-control, as one might assume, but to keep the sinister corporation Massive Dynamic from reading their thoughts:

Beanied Walter Bishop Beanied Walter Bishop Beanied Astrid

While it's good to see deflector-beanie awareness being propagated to the orthonoid masses, their AFDBs contain some potentially fatal flaws that could undermine the paranoid cause if widely adopted.

First, they're ill-fitting. You can see this especially with Astrid's, which she wears at a dangerously jaunty angle allowing free access to her right temporal lobe, center for the processing of sound and semantic meaning and the formation of long-term memory. The beanies are also not secured with tape or other fasteners and could easily be dislodged. Finally, though the Robin Hood they are sporting is a classic style, it tends to sit higher on the head, leading to suboptimal foil usage compared to the recommended form-fitting squashed configuration.

On their own, these may seem like simple amateur mistakes, but given the show's incongruous appearance on a network aligned with the Forces of Mind Control, they are certainly intentional -- designed to promote just enough paranoid behavior to provide a false sense of mental security, but not enough to withstand attacks targeting these specific weaknesses.

As you may recall, Fringe has also promoted the Handlebrot set and action on the show centers around intradimensional activities in a multidimensional setting -- topics of interest to my readers. Clearly this show has been memetically engineered for no other purpose than to counter my website with subtle misinformation.

I'm on to you, J.J.

Lyle Zapato

How The Mind-Control Lasers Work

Lyle Zapato | 2009-07-30.1160 LMT | Aluminum

There is a misconception among novice paranoids that the so-called "mind-control lasers" control minds directly from their locations in orbit. In reality, these lasers only facilitate conventional psychotronic mind-control coming from either orbiting psychotrons or ground-based stations. But how do the lasers do this?

A recent experiment leaked to the public via Nature Physics -- presumably as part of the continuing strategy of conditioning orthonoids to accept a more conspicuous New World Order, as well as morale-disrupting propaganda aimed at paranoids -- revealed the shocking truth about how these lasers work -- they turn aluminum foil transparent:

[R]esearchers at the FLASH facility in Hamburg, Germany, took a thin piece of aluminium foil and blasted it with an X-ray laser that generated about 10 million gigawatts of power per square centimetre. At standard temperature and pressure, solid aluminium is a lattice of ions surrounded by a sea of free electrons. Each photon in the FLASH beam had enough energy to knock an electron away from an ion, while the photon got absorbed in the process.

Normally in a solid metal, another electron will instantly take the place of the missing one. But FLASH is so powerful that it can rip out one electron from every ion in the foil before other electrons can replace them.

With one electron removed, the remaining electrons around each ion settle into a different configuration, becoming too tightly bound for the laser to remove them. That means the X-ray photons can no longer be easily absorbed, and they fly straight through the material, making the previously opaque aluminium transparent to X-rays

This x-ray transparency allows for a piggy-back psychotronic signal to pass right through a layer of aluminum foil, potentially obsolescing the passive mind-control deflection technology on which the Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie is based. At least that's what the NWO wants paranoids to fear in the hope we'll abandon our beanies and surrender our minds to them in despair. Fortunately, the transparifying process has three major drawbacks that keep it from coming to that:

First, the extreme energy requirements (roughly 9 exawatts per beanie layer) make it difficult for more than a handful of paranoids to be targeted at a time without creating noticeable atmospheric effects -- the sight of which would only increase orthonoid-to-paranoid conversions in the public. In turn, as our numbers increase, the percentage of paranoids affected by beanie transparency will decrease, making the situation even less advantageous for the NWO.

Second, the process creates in foil an unstable state of matter that lasts less than a nanosecond, leaving a narrow window of opportunity for mind controlling. That may be enough time to induce fleeting physio-emotive responses (FEAR, PAIN, ENNUI, etc.), but not enough for complicated behavioral programming, like "GO TO DALLAS; STATION YOURSELF ON THE GRASSY KNOLL; AWAIT FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS". Much less damage can be done with the former than the latter.

Finally, because of this state-of-matter's instability, as one of the researchers behind the leaked information admitted, "As soon as you make it, the stuff blows up". Of course, this last flaw could be used to the NWO's advantage as a way of neutralizing paranoids through remote beanie detonation, but, since they still have to find you to target the lasers, general improvements in camouflaging techniques can mitigate this risk, which really isn't any more worrying than the many other ways the NWO could neutralize a paranoid once identified and located.

At worst, this revelation merely reaffirms the importance of multiple layers when creating AFDBs. Those paranoids still using single-layer configurations are risking transparification and are advised to update their beanies ASAP.

Lyle Zapato

The New World Coin

Lyle Zapato | 2009-07-13.6680 LMT | NWO | Belgian Conspiracy | Bohemian Grove Cabal

Photo: AP

Last week at the G8 summit in Italy, Russian President and psychotronic cowboy Dmitry Medvedev revealed a test coin for a new supranational currency called the United Future World Currency:

Coin obverse and reverse

The coin features the motto "Unity in Diversity" on the obverse and a symbolic "Tree of Life" on the reverse. Ostensibly, the Tree represents world unity by combining leaves from trees indigenous to the five continents where the coin will be spent. That is, of course, a lie to cover the real cryptosymbology. If you look closely, you'll notice that the tree design forms both a Pyramid Eye and an owl, the two favorite symbols of the NWO:


Hidden symbols: Owl (left) and Pyramid Eye (right).

The currency is unofficially known as the "Eurodollar"; according to the UFWC's manifesto, they've also used the names "United Money" and "Dollaeur". The official name will be decided via a contest among the world's school children, which is both sappy and creepy at the same time (too bad they don't have a cartoon mascot to go with it).

Whatever they call it, it's a safe bet that the coin -- which was minted by the Royal Mint of Belgium, naturally -- is loaded with the latest in psychotronic circuitry designed to subdue anti-NWO thoughts through passive induction of cellphonic energies. Not that you have much to worry about at this time, since the gold €$1 coin will currently set you back €2,800/US$3,900.

LATE UPDATE: Lest you think the cryptosymbolic owl is just an example of pareidolia and not intentional, consider the Athenian Owls. These coins, with an owl on the reverse, were issued almost unchanged in ancient Greece for over half a millennium. They were the World Currency of their day. The UFWC even mentions them on their site, so they can't claim ignorance. How likely is it that a coin that is supposed to supplant all others to become Humanity's final form of currency would, just by chance, happen to have a hidden owl shape on the back that echoes a famous motif from the dawn of numismatic history?

AFTERTHOUGHT UPDATE (2009-07-20): Here's something relevant that's so well-known to paranoids that it didn't occur to me that some of my orthonoid readers might not be aware of it: there's an owl on the front of the US$1 bill, hidden on the border of the crest around the "1" in the upper right corner. Do you see?

And here's something else that not many orthonoids notice (at least consciously): the national side of Belgian Euro coins all feature a portrait of the fictional King of the fictional Belgians, Albert II, who is depicted as some sort of owl-human hybrid:

€2 Belgian coin
Owl or Man or Owlman?

Clearly, the owl-worshipping forces of the Cabal move within the Belgian Conspiracy, plotting to subtly inculcate an acceptance of their crypto-strigocracy among any Europeans who happen upon Belgian Euros that have been slipped into their pockets by Conspirators while vacationing at Euro-Disneyland.

Lyle Zapato

19th Century British Military ALDH Technology

Lyle Zapato | 2009-03-29.6230 LMT | Aluminum | NWO | Fashion | Technology | Retro

As readers of my AFDB book are aware, use of foil-based deflector beanie technology among unaffiliated paranoids dates back only to the 1920s due to the NWO's previously tight control over the availability of aluminum. However, the forces of mind control have been incorporating aluminum psychotronic deflection into their field equipment since the Atlantean era. Here's an example from the 19th century:

Fig. 2.
Cross-section of an Aluminium Leaf Deflector Helmet (ALDH) used
by the British military during their psychotronic wars in India.

This was taken from "On Improvements in Helmets and Other Head-Dress for British Troops in the Tropics, More Especially in India" by Julius Jeffreys, F.R.S., published in 1862 in the Journal of the Royal United Services Institute for Defence Studies. In the article, Jeffreys explains how he incorporated an aluminum lining into helmet designs:

Desirous of trying the repellent virtues of the new metal -- aluminium, and having heard that Mr. Marshall, a manufacturer of leaf metal of much ingenuity and spirit, had produced specimens of aluminium beaten into leaf, I applied to him, and found him much interested in my proposal that it should be introduced as a coating for the surfaces of hats. At no little trouble -- the manufacture being new -- he prepared for me some books of aluminium leaf. The present is, I believe, the first employment of this metal in the form of leaf, and it promises to be of much utility. I find it to possess great reflecting power, though the experiments have not been continued long enough to decide its virtues as compared with gold leaf. It has apparently little liability to become tarnished. The interior of this pattern helmet is lined with leaf aluminium. I find it to form an excellent article also in the form of aluminium paper. Both aluminium and tin, in the form of leaf or bronze, could, I am satisfied from trial, be united to a smooth calico or linen surface, by means of a flexible cement, prepared from gutta-percha, india-rubber, or other hydro-carbons. I find on trial both india-rubber and gutta-percha promise to answer the purpose, and to have the great advantage of giving much flexibility to a metallic cloth.

For his hollow-shelled design (fig. 2), the aluminum lining would go on the inner shell, or crown (E -- not the beanie-like structure, h, which is only for cranial support):

Reverting again to the body of the hat, if it have two crowns ... the inner crown ought, under all circumstances, to have both its surfaces coated with metal; not only the inner one, facing the head, but the outer surface also, which faces the interior of the outer shell...

As you'll note, this bi-directional shielding agrees with my own stated best practices for AFDB construction, where the foil's shiny side is facing both outward and inward. The outer shell of Jeffreys' design provides protection for the aluminum leaf and utilitarian camouflage (according to Jefferys, utility is "the true standard of taste in every manly business").

The holes in the "coronet ventilator" (B, b) and the inner shell opening (e) are so troops can receive orders from their commanders via encoded psychotronic signals that interact with a specially cut ruby diffracting-crystal (not pictured for security reasons) centrally mounted under the coronet. Ruby, a crystal primarily composed of aluminum, is an important component in psychotronic generators and other mind-control equipment. The British Empire's interest in India was primarily to control her ruby mines, thus gaining an upper hand in the Global Psychotronic War.

Since this was published where orthonoids could read it, not only was any mention of classified diffracting-crystal technology omitted, but the aluminum shielding itself was couched in terms of its thermal protection so as not to expose the British Empire's wide-spread use of mind control in the subjugation of local populations. But the following illustration of Jefferys' other much-less-camouflaged design clearly shows the true psychotronic-deflective nature of helmet aluminization:

Fig. 4 and 5.
ALDH configuration designed to limit psychotronic friendly fire.

Here we have what Jeffreys describes as "a hat, or shako, which, for the wearer's sake, rejoices in a metallic exterior." This aluminum-clad design features only vertical and horizontal surfaces so that "it may not throw any rays into the eyes of persons standing either near or far off." While he again couches it in terms of solar rays, in reality the purpose was to protect troops from accidentally shooting their comrades in the head with their psychotoons and having the rays bounce back into their own faces, causing themselves befuddlement or possible mind-erasure. Such brazenly uncamouflaged helmets would have been worn by British Imperial mindshock troops during frantic exchanges with Mahratta freebooters, whose own alum-soaked turbans, while relatively primitive, would still have required more aggressive psychotronic fire to overcome.

Lyle Zapato

They Get You When You're Sleeping

Lyle Zapato | 2009-01-10.0036 LMT | General Paranoia

The same psychology team that last year reported two-thirds of the British population suffer from orthonoia has come out with a new study showing a link between orthonoia and excessive sleep.

For those who don't remember and can't be bothered to read the first link above, orthonoia is the gullible doppelganger of paranoia. Orthonoids are easily lulled into a sense of trust and security, leaving them prey to the Varied & Sundry Agents of Evil, whom orthonoids are incapable of suspecting and thus avoiding. Those who seek to control society are always looking for ways to decrease natural, healthy paranoia while increasing dangerous, self-defense-defeating orthonoia.

Of course, since this research was funded by the Wellcome Trust -- being as they are a part of the Medical Establishment and named for the man who introduced England to the modern pill, ushering in the age of pharmacological orthonoia -- they frame the findings as showing that people need to get more sleep in order to overcome paranoia:

"As most of us know, a few nights of poor sleep can make us feel stressed, muddled in our thinking and disconnected from the world," says [Dr. Daniel Freeman, a Wellcome Trust Research Career Development Fellow at the Institute of Psychiatry, King's College London]. "These are ideal conditions for paranoid fears to take hold. Regular, good-quality sleep is important to our psychological wellbeing."

....

"The good news is that there are several tried-and-tested ways to overcome insomnia," he says. "In particular, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) has proven benefits. The intriguing implication of the research is that use of the sleep techniques may also make us feel safer and less mistrustful during the day. A good night's sleep may simply make us view the world in a much more positive light."

If sleep doesn't turn you into the model of a trusting, unquestioning citizen, maybe it'll at least soften you up enough for you to trust practitioners of "cognitive behavioural therapy" (otherwise known as "brainwashing"), which Dr. Freeman just so happens to be. No wonder the Government and the Medical Establishment are always insisting that you should get at least eight hours of sleep a night... That's how They get you!


Still from the docudrama They Live! Note the sleep commands.

To paranoid researchers, the findings of this study aren't surprising. One of the main ways that orthonoia is induced is through psychotronic mind control, which is widely suspected to have a stronger effect during REM sleep. Without resistance from the conscious mind, imagery and ideas can be easily slipped into the brain through dreams.

There is, however, some question about the causation: does sleeping as little as possible increase paranoia through an increase in conscious psychotronic resistance, or are paranoids just less likely to sleep since they know what's lurking out in the shadows, waiting for them to lower their guards? There's also the confounding variable of late-night talk radio, which is very informative to the paranoid mind. Exposure to it -- which, obviously, increases with lack of sleep -- could also contribute to an orthonoia decrease.

'Paranoia: The 21st Century Fear', by Daniel and Jason Freeman.

Dr. Freeman is using the media buzz from the study to promote his book, Paranoia: The 21st-Century Fear. As he notes, paranoia has been increasing recently. Although he pointedly neglects to mention it, this is thanks to the tireless efforts of sleepless paranoids staying up late into the night to post on their blogs about inexpensive mind control protection. (You're welcome.) But Dr. Freeman isn't writing a paean to paranoia. His orthonoiac thesis is that there's too much paranoia in the modern world and that we need to "tackle it".

The book description uses a very telling phrase in saying it "takes us beyond the tabloid headlines" (bold mine). As you would know if you had read the first link in this post, tabloids (the newspapers that peddle in salacious scandals, not the pills invented by Henry Solomon Wellcome) were created by the Powers That Be to misdirect people away from true paranoia by keeping their natural paranoid instincts preoccupied with manufactured controversy and petty fears. This empty-calorie pseudoparanoia not only atrophies people's ability to be authentically paranoid, it also serves to deflate any true paranoid suspicions by making them look ridiculous when ensconced in celebrity trivia and fad diets. That the Wellcome Trust, of all organization, would use that phrase in the description of a book attacking paranoia could only be a intentional shout-out to their fellow evildoers in the Forces of Mind Control.

Well, that's enough blogging for tonight. Now to stay awake until dawn, then I'll be safe from the Shadow People for another day.

Lyle Zapato

O Alumbaum!

Lyle Zapato | 2008-12-17.9840 LMT | Aluminum
Alumbaum

O Alumbaum, o Alumbaum,
How are your boughs so shiny!
You sparkle even in the nights,
So I hide you from satellites.
O Alumbaum, o Alumbaum,
How are your boughs so shiny!

O Alumbaum, o Alumbaum,
You dampen the psychotrons!
You help me resist mind-control,
Emitted from the grassy knoll.
O Alumbaum, o Alumbaum,
You dampen the psychotrons!

O Alumbaum, o Alumbaum,
You're coated in corundum!
I know you won't rust in the rain,
So weathermen won't seize my brain.
O Alumbaum, o Alumbaum,
You're coated in corundum!

(Learn more about the Seasonal Aluminum Deflection Tree.)