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Lyle Zapato

Government Propaganda Mascots #1: NSA's Crypto Cat

Lyle Zapato | 2004-08-11.8500 LMT | Government Propaganda Mascots

We here at ZPi often discuss advanced forms of mind control -- psychotronics, cerebrosonics, memetic engineering, etc. -- but we tend to neglect the simpler methods used to shape the public's perceptions and actions. One simple method governments use is to employ cartoon characters to inculcate the official state credenda into children, who will then grow up into subservient adults. While a rather primitive form of propaganda, it can nevertheless be very effective when applied to children brought up in a sufficiently orthonoidic society, such as the one we live in.

Unfortunately, even children raised in suspicious households are at risk as many paranoid parents, who have otherwise taken steps to protect their children's minds by using aluminumated cribs and installing MindGuard on the family computer, remain unaware of the sorts of government websites that are targeting their children.

To help bring to light these shadowy governmental kids sites, I'm introducing a new reoccurring installment I like to call Get To Know The Government Propaganda Mascots (GPM). Each installment will introduce a new propaganda mascot, highlighting its methods and deducing its agenda.


NSA Crypto Cat

Our first GPM comes from the US National Security Agency (NSA) and he's called Crypto Cat. Crypto, a blue cat dressed in standard-issue NSA trench coat, is featured on the NSA/CSS Kids and Youth Page. Some of Crypto Cat's propagandistic activities include:

Trust in me my friend for I am your comrade.
...
Together you and I shall experience
A bond only others like us will understand.
When outsiders see us together
Their envy will be measured by their disdain.

Thus, Crypto Cat's agenda is to both eliminate our ability to communicate privately and raise a military force proficient in math and codependently loyal to the Belgian Conspiracy.

Lyle Zapato

Aluminum Mania!!

Lyle Zapato | 2004-08-09.2300 LMT | Aluminum

While spying on my visitors going over my referral log, I found a Japanese portal/blog/who-knows-what that's all about aluminum and its many uses entitled Aluminum Mania!!. They've linked to my AFDB site, saying:

…メガトン級のアルミサイトではある。

which means "It's a megaton-class aluminum site." Thanks.

Anyway, their site is a bounty of information about aluminum use in Japan (assuming you can read Japanese, otherwise it's a bounty of squiggly lines). For instance, the Japanese have invented aluminum-based canine heatsink pads...

Overclocking your dog! What will they think of next? How about an aluminum Ultraman laptop...

However it's not exclusively Japanese aluminumana. Also found on the site was a pic of NASA's Echo-1 from the late 1960s:

This giant aluminated sphere (made of mylar, which was reverse engineered from bits of material salvaged from the paraterrestrial craft that crashed in Roswell, NM in 1947) was ostensibly for radio communications, although its psychotronically deflective surface was more suited for global mind control. Devices like this were the precursors to Project Starshine.

Lyle Zapato

A Simpler Time When Marketers Drank Absinthe

Lyle Zapato | 2004-08-07.4000 LMT | Random Found Thing | Food | Retro

Fruit crate label: Clown Brand, Sparr Fruit Co., California
"Hey kids! Eat your fruits and vegetables
or I'll bite your little heads off!"

Lyle Zapato

Gmail, Kibioctets, And Introducing ZPiMail

Lyle Zapato | 2004-07-17.9400 LMT | Site | Technology | Metric System

Much has been made of Google's new email service, Gmail, which promises a gigabyte of free storage. Although true paranoids have already rejected the service for important reasons, many are excited at the idea of getting all that free storage space.

But will you really be getting as much as you think?

According to the Gmail FAQ, that 1 gigabyte is actually 1,000 megabytes (and presumably by megabyte they mean 1,000,000 bytes -- otherwise, this way madness lies). Consider: if the current mailbox on your computer is reported by your OS as having an even 100 megabytes in it, you might naively think you could store ten times that on a Gmail account. Unfortunately, you would be wrong by 48,576,000 bytes (about 46 megabytes by your OS's reckoning -- quite a lot of email).

This is the sort of confusion and sneaky business practices that results when the kibioctet standard is not in wide use, as it should be.

To address this issue, as well as others, ZPi is proud to announce ZPiMail. Unlike Gmail, ZPiMail offers infinite gibioctets of storage space by leveraging the transcendental irrationality of nature itself:

Every email you have stored can be expressed as a mere string of digits (in fact, it's already stored as such on your computer). Since the number π has an infinite number of essentially random digits, the string of digits that represents one of your emails can be found within it, as can the digits representing your entire mailbox, no matter how large it may be. Instead of storing all those gibioctets of digits on your computer, why not just store the offset of the expansion of π that matches them? With ZPiMail, now you can!

(NOTE: ZPi does not currently offer software to facilitate reading your email from π, however you can rest assured that everything in your mailbox is already safely stowed away in there, as well as any future email you may receive and hypothetical emails to you from Jimmy Carter explaining all the mysteries of universe in Farsi. I apologize for this oversight, but I have been forced to prematurely announce ZPiMail in order to head off my archnemesis, Dr. Ernesto, who is attempting to steal focus with his derivative EeMail.)

Lyle Zapato

More On iPods & Cerebrosonics

Lyle Zapato | 2004-07-14.7420 LMT | General Paranoia | Mind Control | Technology

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS A LINK WITH LIVE EXAMPLES OF CEREBROSONIC MIND CONTROL AND OTHER FORMS OF MANIPULATIVE PSYCHOACOUSTICS. IF YOU DO NOT HAVE CEREBROSONIC-CANCELATION EQUIPMENT OR MINDGUARD'S DEPSYCH RUNNING, DO NOT FOLLOW THE LINK WITHOUT FIRST DISABLING ALL THE SPEAKERS ATTACHED TO YOUR COMPUTER, INCLUDING THE INTERNAL "PC SPEAKER" AND MODEM SPEAKER. ALSO, IT WOULD BE PRUDENT TO HAVE ANY DENTAL FILLINGS REMOVED TO ELIMINATE THE POSSIBILITY OF INTERCRANIAL SOUND INDUCTION VIA THE ELECTROMAGNETIC FIELD OF YOUR MONITOR.

Dr. Horowitz, Chief Technology Officer of the psychoacoustical applied research company NeuroPop (which threatens: "We can change your mind...") has contacted me to point out that the possibility of mind-control iPods was already speculated on by the German-language blog Industrial Technology & Witchcraft (article entitled "Der neuronale iPod"), in the context of mentioning NeuroPop's work.

However, the Korean mind-controller patent that I linked to -- which is shown in the technical drawings as being iPodish -- goes beyond the passive cerebrosonic mind-control that NeuroPop is developing for use in music, films, and games as it contains a neural feedback pack to actively read the state of the brain and adjust its mind-control signal accordingly. Passive cerebrosonics from NeuroPop and others can be played on a normal, unmodified iPod (or other such devices), with the main disadvantage for the mind-controller being the lack of real-time customization and adaptation. Since this technology can be incorporated into commercial music recordings (and probably is -- NeuroPop is secretive about their clients), any users of iPod-type devices who do not get their music from trusted paranoid sources are in danger of cerebrosonic manipulation (as I warned in an earlier post).

Besides currently being a vehicle for passive cerebrosonics sold through Apple's iTunes store, future versions of the iPod will most likely include the sort of active mind-control technology described in the Korean patent, finally allowing Steve Jobs to deploy his "reality distortion field" well beyond the immediate vicinity of his cyborg body, thereby serving the will of his Reticulan masters.

Lyle Zapato

Lord Kelvin vs. Jackie Chan

Lyle Zapato | 2004-07-10.6050 LMT | Entertainment | Kelviniana

The Game Boy Advanced game Around the World in 80 Days (based on the recent Jackie Chan movie) features an appearance by Lord Kelvin:

Lord Kelvin as he appears in the 'Around the World in 80 Days' video game.

Unfortunately, the game makers knew that Kelvin would kick Chan's ass if given the chance -- which they couldn't allow in this Chan-vehicle -- so Kelvin has been relegated to the expositively non-action-packed beginning and end sequences. Here are screenshots from the end sequence where Kelvin is attacked with vicious lies and falsely arrested (the programmers had to make him immobile to keep him from single-handedly taking out this gang of cretins):

'Around the World in 80 Days' screenshots

Needless to say, this isn't exactly the best game ever made. However, as far as I know, it has the first appearance of Lord Kelvin in a video game. If anyone knows of any others, email me.

Lyle Zapato

A Chip in the Wheel of Dharma

Lyle Zapato | 2004-07-06.5650 LMT | Cascadia | NWO | Bohemian Grove Cabal | Technology | Nature

Dharma was a dog living in San Diego. Although she was barely conscious of anything beyond kibbles and walks, she still had an instinctual yearning to escape the subliminal tyranny of the Bohemian Grove Cabal that rules most of California (and whose tyranny has grown all the more liminal since the rigged election of their puppet governor, bioengineered in Austria from Hapsburg DNA.)

Dharma decided one day to escape, to make her way north to the freedom of the Republic of Cascadia, to elude the reach of the Cabal. It was an arduous 15-month trek -- no doubt filled with many thrilling adventures and harrowing run-ins with NWO forces hell-bent on stopping her -- nonetheless, she made it all the way to Federal Way, Washington, a thousand miles from her captors.

Federal Way is a city infamous for its population of anti-Cascadian Federalists, but Dharma had no way of knowing this. She now felt safe enough this far into Cascadia to trust some friendly humans who offered her a ride in their van. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to her, her masters had implanted her with a microchip.

The chip betrayed her; she was found out by NWO agents working in a shelter and has since been returned to Cabal-controlled California via black helicopter. If I know the Bohemian Grove Cabalists (and I do) she will be subjected to intensive operant reprogramming -- forced, eyes pried open, to endure a doggie Parallax-montage of scenes from Cascadia interspersed with split-second "BAD DOG!"s. After this, Dharma will never yearn to be free again.

So, let the sad tale of Dharma be a lesson: never trust the Cabal; never get into the vans of strangers, no matter how friendly they may seem; and never, ever let your masters put a microchip under your skin.

Lyle Zapato

The Imminent Threat Of Space Elevators

Lyle Zapato | 2004-07-05.8200 LMT | General Paranoia | NWO | Black Helicopters | Technology

Space has been in the news a lot lately, what with the recent photos from the Cassini probe and particularly the hype surrounding the allegedly first private spaceflight of SpaceShipOne. This can only mean one thing: a cover up.

As you no doubt know, since I explained it in my book, the so-called "space race" of the previous century was a NWO sham designed to reveal already existent space technology to the public while covering up its previous use for mind control, thereby allowing its even greater deployment for that use. Aluminum-based satellites have been in orbit since at least the mid-19th century, launched by giant cannons covertly built on equatorial islands, including the ill-fated one on Krakatoa (for a historical perspective, see Jules Verne's dramatized exposé From the Earth to the Moon). Moon bases have been established since the early 20th century, used both as platforms for mind control as well as manufacturing centers for products such as the psychotronically deflective orbs deployed by counter intelligence agents in discos during the 1970s (which, thanks to the low-gravity aluminum crystal growth that moon bases allowed, were markedly more effective than similar designs first developed in Rome in the Middle Ages).

So, the question is: What are they covering up now with this new private space race known as the X-Prize? What new space-based technologies are going to be "discovered" in the coming years as space is commercialized that have been used against us for decades?

One possibility for revelation is the technology required to build space elevators, which have been conveniently hyped in recent months for no apparent reason. A very strong and light material is needed to make the strand or band that the space elevator car will travel on. Popular opinion is that some form of carbon nanotubes will be used, although we officially lack the technology to manufacture them in sufficient quantity. However, the current states of classified nanobiotechnology and genetic engineering are certainly such that they could be used to produce mecha-organisms that will secrete large amounts of the substances. (In fact, this biosecretion technology has been in development, in secret, for centuries, ever since the Byzantines first started experimenting with mutant silk worms to produce flame resistant materials for their soldiers to wear while flinging Greek Fire at their enemies. Of course, the bioengineers of Byzantium lacked modern biological process control techniques that would allow them to direct the development and genetic alteration of the silk worms, so they never managed to develop space-elevator-capable materials of their own, thankfully.)

If I am correct in my suspicions, this portends a future where the technology behind black helicopters (which I first brought to light in the 1990s) will be even more widely used to subjugate humanity, replacing mind control with total nanobiological subversion.

Lyle Zapato

Make Your Own Kelvin Cells

Lyle Zapato | 2004-07-04.7160 LMT | Crafts | Kelviniana
Tetrakaidecahedron paper model

Print out and assemble your own tetrakaidecahedra, approximate versions of the Kelvin Cell -- a single shape, space-partitioning cell with a minimum intercellular surface area described by Lord Kelvin.

Tetrakaidecahedra pack together to evenly fill a space. Make a whole bunch and fill your cubicle with a papery foam! If your boss protests, just remind him how much paper you are saving over cubes of equal volume. Given enough space, tetrakaidecahedra will practically pay for themselves!

Lyle Zapato

Mind Control iPod

Lyle Zapato | 2004-07-02.4700 LMT | Mind Control | General Paranoia | Technology

iManchurian

For those orthonoids who scoffed at my suggestion that audio encoders could be used for nefarious mind control purposes, I present this Korean patent that can convert an iPod-type audio player into a mind control device:

A mind controller is disclosed. The mind controller can induce a user's brain waves into an alpha wave state or a theta wave state by sensing and analyzing human brain waves and then transmitting a mind control audio message suitable for the analyzed human brain waves to the user, so that the user can improve mental concentration power or memory for himself/herself. The mind controller for activating brain waves generated from the user's brain, includes: an EEG (Electroencephalogram) sensor for sensing frequency band corresponding to alpha waves and theta waves from the brain waves generated from the user's brain; an MCU (Memory Control Unit) for analyzing whether the brain waves sensed by the EEG sensor are alpha waves or theta waves through a built-in program of a brain wave analysis program pack and controlling output of a message, which corresponds to the alpha waves or the theta waves, out of mind control audio messages of an MP3 pack; an audio decoder for demodulating signal converted into data in the MP3 pack by control signal output from the MCU; a D/A converter for receiving signal provided from the audio decoder and converting the signal into analog audio signal; and audio output means for converting and providing the analog audio signal into sound.

iParallax

UPDATE 2006-04-21: The Bush connection...