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Lyle Zapato

Black Helicopter Swarms

Lyle Zapato | 2006-09-27.7770 LMT | Black Helicopters | Technology | NWO | Simulacra
"We're focusing on persistent surveillance"
—Jonathan How, MIT Black Helicopter engineer

MIT -- the same DARPA-funded institution that falsely claimed AFDBs don't work -- is developing technology that will let Juvenile Black Helicopters swarm.

The UAV SWARM Health Management Project aims to imbue protosentient nano­bio­techno­logical helicopters with a hive mind, allowing groups of them to operate as "an intelligent airborne fleet that requires little human supervision". The technology monitors the health of the quasi-lifeforms and manages their collective consciousness so the swarms can adapt to changing environments.

While the version that MIT is showing to the public uses purely mechanical quadracopters networked to separate PCs, clearly the goal is to integrate the technology into actual nanobiotechnological Black Helicopters so they can swarm autonomously. These press releases are merely an attempt to condition our acceptance of inevitable Black Helicopter swarming in our neighborhoods.

Black Helicopter Swarm. Photo credit: Donna Coveney
Researchers show how Black Helicopter swarms will surround humans
conditioned by the Media to be happy and compliant, making the
round-up and internment of NWO dissenters easy.

Paranoid analysts theorize that eventually this same technology will allow a swarm of Microscopic Black Helicopters to coalesce into a fluid colonial body known as a Metamorphic Ooze Being (MOB). Black Helicopter MOBs will be able to shapeshift into any form, including humanoid, in order to infiltrate paranoid communities.

Although the individual helicopter cells would be black, by controlling the reflective interference of light on a nanometer scale with their tiny rotor props in a manner similar to the scales on butterfly wings, MOBs would be able to make themselves appear to be any combination of colors, thereby rendering their camouflage visually undetectable. They would make Simulacrum androids as we know them obsolete.

Black Eyed Kids
BEKs: Coalesced helicopters?

Indeed, some suspect that MOBs are already among us, disguising themselves as children to gain our trust. Sightings of so-called Black Eyed Kids (BEKs) started in 1996 when journalist Brian Bethel reported that two strange children with completely black eyes approached him in a parking lot and tried to get him to drive them home. Similar BEK sightings followed, almost always involving the children trying to get invited into someone's home. This pathologic need to be invited would suggest they seek human acceptance as part of their infiltration programming. The MOB theory of BEK origins doesn't explain why their eyes would remain characteristically uncamouflaged -- unless BEKs merely represent a malfunctioning tip of a mountain of perfectly camouflaged ooze beings in our midsts.

However, this unsettling possibility is a minority view; the more accepted explanation for BEKs in the paranoid community is that they are otherwise normal kids with massive Parasitic Black Helicopter infections. When children with insufficient exposure to natural allergens are inoculated with Black Helicopter seed crystals by NWO agents, BH reproduction can overwhelm the immune response, causing a thin, black coating of helicopters to form over the entire nervous system, including the eyes.

Whatever the case, Black Helicopter swarms are coming. Invest in swatters.

Lyle Zapato

Physiognomics As She Is Spoke

Lyle Zapato | 2006-09-25.7000 LMT | Random Found Thing | Miscellaneous | Retro
George Morland
Aquasorbitiveness large.
George Morland, a talented painter, who died as he had lived, a great drunkard.

The 1871 book A New Physiognomical Chart by Joseph Simms, M.D. presents an original physiognomic classification system based on over 100 faculties -- such as characterioscopicity, computationumericality, and physiœlpidicity -- discernable by a combination of body types and facial features.

Each faculty is given an entry that includes a descriptive physiognomic characteristic; a grading scale from 1 to 12; methods to increase or decrease ones grade, should one choose; and illustrations of individuals who exemplify the faculty, positively or negatively.

While some of the faculty names are still in usage (e.g. "ambitiousness" and "credulousness" -- which Simms conveniently considers a faculty worthy of promotion), most are all but lost to the Internet (The Phrontistery doesn't even have a list!)

So, for the sake of huntatative types who wish to expand their linguastiveness, find grist for their salitive mill, or are just trying to tell their temporinaturalitiveness from their temporimechanicality, here's a glossary of select physiognomic faculties (those with high degrees of both amicitiveness and ordinimentality, please feel free to add these words to Wiktionary to edify future generations of physiognomicists):

Read more...

Lyle Zapato

Factropolis

Lyle Zapato | 2006-09-25.6320 LMT | Miscellaneous
Fun Fact: There really was an "Old MacDonald." Tragically, the subject of the childrens' song killed his wife and then himself in a 19th century murder/suicide.

Learn a new fun fact just like this everyday at Factropolis, the obscure trivia authority -- soon premiering as a gameshow on the CW Network!

Lyle Zapato

Pyramid Tea & GPM #19: Power Panther

Lyle Zapato | 2006-09-09.7550 LMT | Food | NWO | Government Propaganda Mascots

Greg in the guestbook was shocked and appalled to see a TV ad for Lipton Premium Pyramid Tea Bags, which Lipton claims are "delicately packaged in unique pyramid-shaped bags that allow the tea room to flow freely". Is this an innocent tea-steeping innovation or a blatant attempt at subliminal New World Order imagery?

Bavarian Tea 'Pyramid'

First of all, these bags are not true pyramids; they are tetrahedra. Presumably true pyramidal tea bags with square bottoms are impractical to manufacture or package, or are in some other way undesirable. Why then do they insist on calling them "Pyramid Tea Bags" -- which they clearly are not -- instead of the more accurate and euphonious "Tetrateadra Bags"? Could truly authentic tea infusion be a secondary concern to Lipton behind promoting a food/pyramid memetic entanglement?

Secondly, note that one of their flavors -- the one they feature prominently in the masthead -- is "Bavarian Wild Berry". Need I also mention that Sir Thomas Lipton, founder of Lipton Tea, was a Freemason? Or that Freemasons were responsible for the Boston Tea Party? I think these facts speak for themselves.

So why promote NWO pyramid imagery via tea? As most of you are aware, the NWO, working through the US Department of Agriculture, has long promoted the concept of the Food Pyramid, wherein people are trained to accept dietary advice from a pyramid. Not too long ago, they escalated the campaign with their My Pyramid propaganda materials, which now encourage people to view pyramids as their friends and inculcate in them a desire to scale a pyramid towards a cone of rainbow light:

Your Pyramid?

What better way to further the Food Pyramid Agenda than to start having food itself be pyramid shaped (more or less). It's safe to assume that Lipton's Pyramid Tea Bags are just the first in a coming wave of pyramid promoting propaganda products.

...And speaking of p alliterations, while on the "My Pyramid" site I discovered a new(ish) Government Propaganda Mascot for the USDA's Food and Nutrition Service: Power Panther. This healthy-eating, physically-active cat's motto is "EAT SMART, PLAY HARD". Power Panther is also an ardent follower of the Food Guide Pyramid:

Power Panther & Pyramid Pal
I play hard everyday! Because I'm so active, I need to keep my energy level up. So I eat smart and use the Food Guide Pyramid as a guide.

To get kids to also follow pyramid guidance, the site offers Power Panther hip-hop songs which you can download, including "Power Panther is Here" and "If You Wanna Be Like the Power Panther".

Innocent sing-a-long fun or something more insidious? An undercover videographer was able to capture this secret Power Panther meeting held in a nondescript room somewhere in Milwaukee. The meeting was attended by various unidentifiable people in civilian clothes who stood, swayed, and gesticulated along with the hypnotic motions of a person in a Power Panther costume dancing to psychosonic beats. Of particular interest, note the female USAF officer setting up a camera in the aisle -- conclusive evidence of the Military's connection to the Food Pyramid Agenda!

Lyle Zapato

Decisions...

Lyle Zapato | 2006-09-02.7302 LMT | Politics | Cascadia | NWO | Paraterrestrials

As a public service for the Federalists occupying the Republic of Cascadia, ZPi wholeheartedly endorses either of the following two candidates for Washington State Senator in the Sept. 19 Primary:


Michael Goodspaceguy Nelson
Democratic
Education: Michael Goodspaceguy Nelson received his Masters of Science Degree from the University of Minnesota. He previously studied for 3 years in Stockholm, Sweden, having already earned his Bachelor's Degree in Germany.
Occupation: Investor and user of economics and astronomy
Professional Qualifications: Accountant and owner
Personal Information: Sixty-seven years old and starting to mature.
Community Involvement: Goodspaceguy's big community involvement has been to offer his knowledge of economics and many other subjects to the voters by running for office seven times, advocating to raise the living standard.
Personal Views: In about the last hundred years, we humans developed cars, radios, airplanes, movies, television, and computerization. We moved from the Horse and Buggy Age into the start of the Space Age. Now a great goal is Orbital Space Colonization. Let's build the Fantastic Future! Let's spread the life of Spaceship Earth out into our Solar System! It is our intelligent destiny. With the money we have already spent on space, we should already have growing space colonies. Unfortunately, our leaders have not been educated in orbital space colonization. World peace and education and employment should also be our big goals. Let's use our unemployed people. Please also visit http://colonizeorbitalspace.blogspot.com to learn more about Goodspaceguy's plan of advancement for our civilization.

William Edward Chovil
Republican
Education: BA, University of Puget Sound, 1951. BEd, University of Puget Sound, 1951.
Occupation: History Analyst & Political Commentator -- self employed.
Personal Information: Birth date: 04/08/1927. Birthplace: Tacoma, WA
Community Involvement: Member, John Birch Society. Member, National Center for Constitutional Studies. Member, National Rifle Association. Life Member, Gun Owners of America. National Center for Constitutional Studies. Washington Arms Collector.
Personal Views: It is not illegal for Federal and State lawmakers to be practitioners of democratic communism and socialism. But! Is it a good idea to elect and re-elect them? Abraham Lincoln stated that a house divided against itself can not stand. Do you believe that America has become a house divided against itself? Do you believe that this nation (or any nation) can long endure half pro-communist and half pro-American? Because we are a democracy we can choose to live in a pro-communist America. Is this what we want to do? I am a follower of: George Washington, Ronald Reagan, George S. Patton Junior, Ayn Rand, and John Galt. I am an expert on government -- American government, un-American government, socialism, communism, the New-World-Order Conspiracy, and International Trade Agreements. Do you want school vouchers to help your children attend the school of their choice? Do you want Charter Schools to provide your children an alternative to government controlled schools? Do you want to protect your right to home-school your children? If you believe America can do better with more Americanism and less national and global communism and socialism let me represent you in the United States Senate.
Lyle Zapato

A Father's Tachyon Transceiver

Lyle Zapato | 2006-08-25.2698 LMT | Technology | Letters | Kelviniana

Although it may not seem it at first, Christopher R. Davy's 2001 patent application for The Tachyon Transceiver is the heart-warming, feel-good patent application of the summer.

What is a Tachyon Transceiver? Davy claims:

The Tachyon Transceiver(s) can send or receive a resonance from one point in spacetime to another point in spacetime instantaneously without a relativistic time-delay.

Interesting, but probably not as practical as St. Clair's Remote Viewing Amplifier. As we shall see, however, the real interest here isn't technological, but human.

Read more...

Lyle Zapato

Water Energy Generator

Lyle Zapato | 2006-08-20.3030 LMT | Technology

Hyperinventor John Q. St. Clair takes a break from hyperspacial transportation to solve the energy crisis -- and unlike certain Irish jokers, his solution is based on solid hyperspace research.

St. Clair's Water Energy Generator uses low density hyperspace energy produced by a magnetic vortex wormhole generator to "soften" water molecules, breaking their atomic binding and causing the hydrogen nuclei to decay into a cascade of electron pairs, which are collected and turned into electricity. Simple, really.

He hasn't totally forgotten his dreams of space travel however. He notes his main goal for the generator will be powering his electromagnetic spacecraft and other hyperspace inventions, and that the oxygen byproduct of the process can be used for breathing. But still, the broader energy applications for those of us left on the planet can not be understated.

As is increasingly the case in his patent applications, St. Clair feels the need to summarize the technological advances of his past applications and explain how he came to know so much about hyperspace. The summary in this one is a long but concise paragraph worth blockquoting in total:

Many of these patent applications involve wormholes and hyperspace which are not well-known concepts in the scientific community. Hyperspace consists of those dimensions which are co-dimensional with our spacetime. The reason I know about hyperspace is because (1) I have been in hyperspace on a number of occasions and have experienced Einstein's time dilation according to his General Theory of Relativity, (2) I have experienced more than one full-body hyperspace teleportation over a distance of 100 meters, (3) we have been able to create a wormhole between space and hyperspace with the magnetic vortex wormhole generator in which smoke was blown through one side of the coil into hyperspace, a first contact verified by the Grey Aliens, (4) I have seen the green mist associated with moving out of dimension and crossing over into hyperspace, (5) I have looked into another dimension and have seen another building, a car and a man who waving at me in the presence of an artificially-intelligent Cyborg with the "high-tech look" from the Pleiadian Defense Department, (6) I can remote view through hyperspace subgeometry to distances of 100,000 light years to the edge of the galaxy and have made first contact with around 500 extraterrestrial civilizations involving the use of patent applications such as Remote Viewing Amplifier, Quantum Dot Energy Cylinder and Walking Through Walls Training System, (7) I am the only person on Earth who has communicated with the designers of the crop circles found in England and explained their design to them in terms of subspace geometry, (8) I can walk through walls as a hyperspace energy being, and (9) I have discovered how anti-gravity is possible using low density hyperspace energy, not to mention all the other research work on these electromagnetic field propulsion vehicles. For my work in developing the geometry of the subspace manifold known as the tetrahedron diagram, I was given the Aphysics award by the Admiral, who is third in line to the Admiralty of the Pleiadian Defense Department. For my work in Revelations, she awarded me four beautiful galloping white riderless horses of the Apocalypse. The reason that the Pleiadian Defense Department was involved was that the Admiral had the task of creating the energy being that would protect the subspace manifold during the battle of Revelations which took place in the year 2001. So these are some of my personal experiences in the field of hyperspace physics.

So there.

And also like his previous applications, there are a number of new revelations:

  • The 1967 collapse of the Silver Bridge between Ohio and West Virginia was actually due to a large, naturally occurring wormhole sucking the rivets out of it.
  • The giant stones of Machu Picchu and Baalbek were lifted into place using low density hyperspace energy from magnet-generated wormholes.
  • You can levitate yourself to a height of six feet (or more) using the Chi Kung breathing technique, which mixes cool and warm air in your lungs in such a way as to change Planck's constant and cause your body to go out of dimension.
  • Jesus could stretch wooden chairs by passing hyperspace energy through his hand vortices.

And then there's this bit which should be of interest to both String Theorists and Biblical scholars:

[T]he universe is composed of many hyperspace co-dimensions. From personal experience, I estimate that the distance separating the two dimensions is about 3 meters when I was looking into another dimension at the man waving at me. The physics is even more complicated because there is a Lorentz dimensional transformation in which higher dimensions appear smaller and lower dimensions appear larger. In one case I was looking at a huge mothership at a much higher dimension and it looked like a tiny toy model spacecraft. They fired a laser cannon at me, and I then curved space which made the beam change course. You can see why I was awarded the four horses.

Alternate application copy: US2006180473

Lyle Zapato

Guess What Stalled Again...

Lyle Zapato | 2006-08-19.7160 LMT | Monorail Danger

Just a hair under a week after the Seattle monorail stalled, it's happened again, and again passengers (hostages) had to make a death defying crossing from the blue train to the red one high above the streets.

The situation is still on-going, so I'll update with links and other info later. In the meantime, if you are in the Seattle Center area, beware of falling monorail riders.

UPDATE: The Seattle Times reports that the red train wouldn't start at the station, forcing the passengers to transfer to the blue train, which then stalled out on the track. They were stranded there for 30 minutes before help arrived. Some tourists from New York had to call the number on the back of the monorail brochure to get assistance.

© ALAN BERNER / THE SEATTLE TIMES
Was this in the brochure?

Since they're making frequent stops on Denny Way, maybe they should just build a monorail station out there. I'm sure the land below can be eminently domained away from whoever owns it. But then the trains will probably start breaking down half way between that station and the others, requiring even more stations. Who's running this thing? Zeno of Elea?

Lyle Zapato

No Honor Among Monorailists

Lyle Zapato | 2006-08-16.8390 LMT | Monorail Danger

Uneasy rumblings on the monorailist street: The suspicious fire on the German Transrapid maglev monorail in Shanghai last Friday may not have been simple spontaneous combustion -- a phenomenon common to monorails -- but rather an act of sabotage by the Chinese government aimed at both disrupting Germany's monorail-based economy and boosting China's own home-grown maglev monorail program, which China's military sees as a strategic inrail to regional hegemony.

The incident follows years of trade disputes between the two monorailfaring nations over use of German maglev technology in a new Shanghai-Hangzhou line and German accusations of China stealing their monorail designs. Since China announced its own maglev monorail program and started shopping it around to other nations, such as Malaysia, seeking to endanger their citizens with monorails, German industrialists from the maglev sector have found themselves negotiating with a direct competitor.

Now an opinion piece translated for The People's Daily, the Chinese Communist Party's official propaganda organ, claims that "the German economy has taken a heavy blow" due to the monorail fire while calling on Germany to admit that German maglev technology isn't "all that" and acknowledge China as the new maglev monorail super power. The message from Beijing is clear: don't mess with our monorails or we'll mess with yours.

As monorail tensions continue to rise, so too does the likelihood of an all-out Sino-Germanic Monorail War -- threatening all nations occupied by their monorails with division into two warring factions: the Electromagnet Bloc and the Permanent-Magnet Bloc.

(For the record, there have been no acts of state-sponsored econo-terrorism on pneumatic tube lines. Just a thought for you city planners.)

Lyle Zapato

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Lyle Zapato | 2006-08-14.6330 LMT | Monorail Danger | Sasquatch Issues

Two days after a reopening that was postponed for four weeks because of malfunctioning doors and brakes, the Seattle Monorail was shut down again for most of yesterday after the blue train stalled. Passengers (or should we just start calling them "hostages"?) had to make a precarious mid-rail transfer across a precipitous gap high above Fisher Plaza from the stalled blue train to the no-doubt-soon-to-be-stalled red train. Against all odds, no one plunged to their death.

At least this time nothing burst into flames or sent debris flying into the pedestrians below. In monorail-terms, it was a successful day.

And as long as I'm on the topic of monorail danger...

As Radical Sasquatch noted, the Mawas of Johor, Malaysia are now facing a new threat: a Chinese high-speed maglev monorail.

It will be one of the first Zhui Feng ("Hunt the Wind") monorails, which were developed for the Chinese military. Yes, that's right, the military. However, German monorail makers Transrapid -- who have a line at the Pudong International Airport in Shanghai -- claim that the design was stolen from them. China denies this. One notable difference is China's maglev uses cheaper permanent magnets, unlike the electromagnets used in German and Japanese technology.

And for those of you wondering: yes, maglev monorails are prone to spontaneous combustion too, as was illustrated when the Shanghai one mysteriously caught fire on Friday:

Shanghai maglev monorail on fire.

The Johor monorail project will be funded primarily by monorail agitators in Dubai (a land whose citizens will soon be threatened by a combination of monorails and robotic dinosaurs). Initially it will only be menacing the human controlled sectors, but given the global hegemonic aspirations of monorailists I don't think we can count the forests of Mawasistan as safe, especially since Japanese monorailists are already pestering the Hibagon with their preliminary incursions into the forests of Mt. Honita:

Mt. Honita Monorail penetrates the peaceful forest Happy Japanese businessmen ride the monorail up Mt. Honita

Will the horror of monorails ever end?