ZPi | Black Helicopters
ZPi Logo "Serving the Paranoid
since 1997"
Lyle Zapato

Cats: The First Line Of Defense Against Black Helicopters

Lyle Zapato | 2009-07-05.4400 LMT | Defensive Techniques | Nature

When the swarms of Juvenile Black Helicopters are finally unleashed on an unsuspecting orthonoid public, paranoid house cats will be at the ready to swat them down.

Below are a small sample of the numerous videos on YouTube showing cats being trained by their paranoid owners to do battle against the coming Black Helicopter menace.

Read more...

Lyle Zapato

The Hexicopter Scuttleth

Lyle Zapato | 2009-03-03.1609 LMT | Technology

A hitherto unseen species of Juvenile Black Helicopter has been found in a New Zealand basement with a shocking new morphological development: IT HAS SIX INSECTOID LEGS!

With the ability to crawl through tight areas normally impassable to spinning rotors, this species of Black Helicopter poses an even greater threat. The common paranoid technique of hanging a jungle of rotor-entangling bits of string from the ceiling will provide no protection from them crawling into your hideout as you sleep and injecting you with BH seed-crystals. If you haven't immediately covered your floors with loops of outward-sticky duct tape upon seeing the above video, I'd suggest you do so ASAP.

(UPDATE: video went missing, can't find copy. Originally via hackaday, with more info.)

Lyle Zapato

Juvenile Black Helicopter Learns To Fly

Lyle Zapato | 2008-09-02.9350 LMT | NWO | Technology

The gradual acclimation of the public to the coming swarms of black helicopters observing and policing society continues apace. We are now told to accept that helicopters are teaching themselves to fly:


"Oh look, it's flying upside down! Isn't that so cute? Let's not protect ourselves with swatters!"

A new artificial intelligence system allows a robotic helicopter to teach itself how to fly and even do challenging stunts, just by watching other helicopters perform the same maneuvers.

The result is an autonomous helicopter than can perform a complete airshow of complex tricks on its own, its inventors say.

It's all for entertainment in airshows, of course! We will, no doubt, learn to enjoy watching the charming antics of the protosentient helicopters as they frolic about during government-sanctioned Patriotic Events, and won't be the least fazed when they start buzzing through our neighborhoods on behalf of law enforcement. In fact, we'll welcome the little scamps! "Isn't that adorable how it follows us around constantly, mimicking our every move? It thinks it's people!"

The helicopter is being trained for eventual release by the Stanford University Autonomous Helicopter project, led by Professor Andrew Y. Ng. Their work follows in the contrails of the black helicopter swarming technology leaked from MIT a couple of years ago.

For a preview of what you'll soon be seeing in the sky over your house at all hours of the day, click below for a video showing JUVENILE BLACK HELICOPTER CHAOS!

Read more...

Lyle Zapato

Nanotube Nanomonorails

Lyle Zapato | 2008-04-12.1780 LMT | Monorail Danger | Technology

Back in 2005, I reported that monorailists were threatening to weave nanomonorails into our clothing. At the time these nanomonorails were constructed using nanobiotechnology adapted from Black Helicopter research. The Monorailists used ATP and kinesin, two biological molecules found in our cells, thus making a nanomonorail that was a sort of human/nanomonorail chimera -- a "manomonorail", if you will.

Copyright A. Barreiro et al., Science
Nanomonorail stalled in middle of track -- just like a real monorail!

Now Monorailsts in Spain -- presumably following some sort of disagreement with the Black Helicopter nano­bio­tech­nicians -- have devised a new form of non-biological nano­monorail technology which they claim has the theoretical ability to move 100 million times faster than those using biological motor proteins.

Both the rail and the shuttle of their nanomonorail are built from carbon nanotubes, the car sliding over the rail like a sleeve. Movement comes from thermomechanical action instead of through a perversion of biology:

They attached each end of the nanotube track, about 300 nanometres long, to metal platforms, so that the tube stretched between them through empty space. Then they fixed a flake of gold to the shuttle tube, which was intended to hold molecular cargo.

When the researchers passed an electrical current through the bridging nanotube, which acts like a 'wire' connecting the metal plates, they found that some shuttle tubes moved towards the nearest plate. Others simply revolved at a fixed location.

"At first we thought it was the electrons that were moving the nanotube," says Bachtold. But the direction of motion didn't depend on the direction of the current.

Instead, the researchers concluded that the current was simply heating up the device, and that this was what was moving the shuttle. This mechanism "came as a surprise", says Bachtold.

Because heat is conducted out of the nanotube by the metal plates, the system is hottest in the middle and cooler at the ends. This means that the thermal shaking of the track tube is strongest in the middle -- which makes the sleeve tube move towards whichever end is nearer. It is a little like shaking the free end of a rope tied to a tree, with a hoop threaded onto the rope. The waves in the rope will usher the hoop towards the tree.

Fortunately for those dreading the day when nanomonorails bind the entire biosphere into a fine, homogeneous gray mesh, there's a major problem the Monorailists need to work out: their shuttle gets hot enough to destroy any cargo on board. Not surprising considering the same problem is too-often exhibited by macromonorails.

Lyle Zapato

The TRUTH About Morgellons Disease

Lyle Zapato | 2008-01-21.5950 LMT | NWO | Aluminum | General Paranoia


Fig. 1: Morgellons fibers.

Since it was first brought to light in 2002, people suffering from Morgellons Disease -- a dermatological condition marked by subdermal crawling or biting sensations, persistent lesions, and mysterious fibers growing under or out of the skin (Fig. 1) -- have been dismissed by orthonoid doctors and agents of the NWO-aligned CDC as having "delusional parasitosis", a supposed psychiatric condition. Unable to find help from the Medical Establishment, Morgellons sufferers have turned to the Internet to exchange information about the condition, most notably on the Morgellons Research Foundation site and MorgellonsUSA.com.

Now, realizing that their dismissals and attempts to silence reports of Morgellons haven't worked, the CDC is launching a Morgellons study in California to much publicity. Those hoping the study will finally show that Morgellons isn't a delusion will, I'm afraid, be disappointed, as the conclusion was predetermined: they'll proclaim once and for all that Morgellons is "delusional parasitosis" and force sufferers to take "antipsychotic" drugs.

What the study certainly won't reveal, since the NWO would never allow it, is the TRUTH about Morgellons Disease: It is real and is caused by Microscopic Black Helicopters (MBHs).


Fig. 2: MBH in blood stream.

When MBHs are introduced into a host body they use nanobiotechnology to reproduce millions of tiny copies of themselves that flood the blood stream (Fig. 2). Their behavior afterwards varies depending on instructions they receive from their handlers or on pre-programmed responses to environmental stimuli: some will attach themselves to the nervous system to control the host or use the host as an unwitting spy, relaying sensory information to NWO operatives; others will enter the abdomen and grow until they burst forth, flying away to mature into full-sized Black Helicopters (this most often happens when cattle serve as hosts, although it is not unheard of in humans); others still will grow to a larger-than-normal-microscopic-size, travel outward to the skin or bodily orifices, and attempt to leave the body in order to become vectors for further MBH infection. These latter MBHs -- known as Extracorporeal Microscopic Black Helicopters (EMBH) when successful in their egress -- are the source of Morgellons Disease.

The nanobiotechnological reproductive process is not perfect; sometimes errors occur that produce malformed MBHs or strange by-products. Much like with cancer in biological cells, the nanobiotech constructor cells of MBHs -- particularly those at the rotorblade tips -- can lose their ability to shut off, causing them to produce fibrous streams of synthetic polymers. Interestingly, these fibers may also include organic proteins normally found in the wool of animals, which the MBH has co-opted from previous sheep or alpaca hosts as part of its synthesis of biological and technological environmental resources.


Fig. 3: MBH entangled in nanobiotech-produced fibers.

Whatever the molecular constituency of the fibers, the result of their growth is the entanglement of the MBHs' rotorblades (Fig. 3), keeping the MBHs from being able to properly exit the host. Instead, they flail about just under the skin surface -- like the larvae inside Mexican jumping beans -- producing lesions through which the growing fibers may exude. They may also occasionally fire their microguns in unsuccessful attempts to free themselves, causing the biting sensations often reported by Morgellons sufferers.

Trying to physically or chemically remove the MBHs from under the skin is strongly unadvised. Such violent attention paid toward them might trigger their anti-detection protocols, resulting in the "spontaneous combustion" of the host. Until paranoid researchers can decipher the incredibly complex control language for MBHs -- which will allow their safe deactivation via psychotronic signals -- Morgellons sufferers should wrap the infected body parts in aluminum foil (Fig. 4). This will isolate the MBHs from NWO psychotronic chatter, causing them to enter a hibernation mode where both their fiber production and creepy-crawly movements will cease.


Fig. 4: Morgellons treatment.

The so-called "antipsychotic" drugs prescribed by the Medical Establishment to treat Morgellons patients for "delusional parasitosis" actually work by resetting the reproductive systems of MBHs, curing them of their nanobiotech cancer. While these drugs will solve the dermatological symptoms, they do nothing to get rid of the MBH causal agents. In fact, they actually help to spread MBH infection in three ways: 1) They allow MBHs to freely exit the body as EMBHs. 2) They have antipruritic properties that mask the sensations of MBH infection, keeping you ignorant. 3) They suppress natural paranoia, keeping you from taking necessary precautions against Black Helicopters. Remember: Just because you're no longer paranoid doesn't mean Microscopic Black Helicopters aren't crawling around under your skin.

Finally, be aware that the presence of Morgellons symptoms almost certainly means that some non-defective MBHs managed to escape the host and are flying around in the vicinity. Keep a Black Helicopterswatter handy to destroy these before they infect others.

Lyle Zapato

Macroscopic Black Helicopters Watch Protesters

Lyle Zapato | 2007-10-10.1830 LMT | Technology | NWO | General Paranoia

The Washington Post reports on macroscopic Black Helicopter sightings at anti-government protests:

Vanessa Alarcon saw them while working at an antiwar rally in Lafayette Square last month.

"I heard someone say, 'Oh my god, look at those,' " the college senior from New York recalled. "I look up and I'm like, 'What the hell is that?' They looked kind of like dragonflies or little helicopters. But I mean, those are not insects."

Of course, the government denies that they have unleashed their nanobiotechnological menace on innocent protesters -- in fact, the FBI flat out said "We don't have anything like that" (which is technically true, the UN, not the FBI, is in charge of Black Helicopter breeding, but that doesn't stop the FBI or other NWO subagencies from contracting their services.)

As I reported previously, the NWO has been slowly acclimatizing the populace to accept the eventual panopticonic reign of swarms of black helicopters monitoring our every move. By flying a few of their larger, more primitive breeds over the heads of protesters who they know would report the sightings on COINTELPRO honeypot sites like DailyKos or Wired, the NWO is both further desensitizing people to accept nanobiotechnological agents among us and marginalizing those who complain about them as cranks.

The WaPo article closes with this message of passive acceptance for orthonoids from Ronald Fearing, the memetically named roboticist (and possible Simulacrum robot) of the University of California at Berkeley:

"I don't want people to get paranoid, but what can I say?" Fearing said. "Cellphone cameras are already everywhere. It's not that much different."

You already accept cellphone cameras, why not accept artificial lifeforms controlled by shadowy government agencies spying on you? But, whatever you do, don't get paranoid!

Lyle Zapato

Robotic Fly, Harbinger Of Black Helicopters

Lyle Zapato | 2007-07-19.7880 LMT | Technology

"They'll see and they'll say, 'Why, the robotic fly wouldn't even hurt a human...'"

Much like with last year's "Bionic Hornets", Harvard University's newly revealed robotic fly is not the true state-of-the-art in the world of tiny artificial entities, but it will help the gradual conditioning of the public to the eventually swarms of microscopic black helicopters, now lying in wait for the dawning Nano­bio­techno­logical Regime.

Naturally, the robotic fly is being funded by DARPA (who, you may recall, was behind the anti-AFDB propaganda study, as well as a mind-reading device and the iPod). DARPA claims robofly technology will be used for stealth surveillance in the battlefield and "urban environments" (whose urban environments? yours, perhaps?), but paranoids know it's ultimately just a soothing memetic ruse; by the time the population notices the horrific TRUTH of black helicopter dominion, they will have already been inculcated with an orthonoiac sense of acceptance and subordination.

As the robotic fly's developer, Robert Wood, notes threateningly: "You probably wouldn't notice a fly in the room, but you certainly would notice a hawk." He is, of course, referring to that future midnight dreary, when the ominous shadows of raven-sized juvenile black helicopters, rotor-blades folded back like wings, will perch in the open above the doorways of all our homes, not only to watch but to be seen. By the time the population notices, it'll already be too late.

UPDATE 2007-10-10: Macroscopic Black Helicopters are being used to watch -- and be seen by -- protesters.

Lyle Zapato

Ken Schram Is Reproducing

Lyle Zapato | 2007-05-26.9560 LMT | Simulacra | NWO
Ken Schram, lurking on your street.

I briefly explained the TRUTH about Seattle-area TV/radio "pundit" Ken Schram back in 2004 in response to a note left in my guestbook about a KOMO TV news alert instructing people not to be alarmed by Black Helicopters flying low through Seattle:

While chemspraying the city is a likely probability, I think they may also be trying to track and recapture the Schram Simulacrum that has been loose on the streets of Seattle terrorizing pedestrians ever since KOMO canceled his weekly public affairs show "Town Meeting".

Much like Howard Beale in the subliminal propaganda movie "Network", Ken Schram has become mad as hell and isn't going to take it anymore. However, unlike that fictionalized account, which was memetically designed by the NWO to explain away inevitable Simulacrum newscaster malfunctions as mere mental breakdowns, the malfunctioning Schram unit got away from his controllers at KOMO before they could ship him off to the Imagineers for servicing or replacement. Now he roams Seattle's streets sputtering confused vitriol about random daily events to any camera crew that happens by.

KOMO and the NWO have put up with him thus far and humored him by airing his screeds, since confronting him in public might result in exposure of the existence of animatronic anchormen (he is, after all, armed with all sorts of diabolic weaponry under his synthdermal covering and, if cornered, may choose to reveal his true unhuman nature by splitting in half and unfurling his deadly grappling arms.) I can only assume that Schram must have finally done something to convince the NWO that risk of exposure is necessary to silence him, and have deployed a mature Black Helicopter to bring him down.

Apparently my assumption was incorrect, since Schram continued to roam the streets afterwards. But did the NWO decide to simply continue humoring him, or could it be that Schram has just grown too dangerously feral to be stopped by even Black Helicopters?


Ken Schram, still on the street. Beware.

As is well known in the Seattle paranoid community, Ken Schram was originally a refurbished version of a Mark I Phil Donahue unit designated for local-market memetic engineering and propaganda dissemination. After the cancellation of Town Meeting and his subsequent escape into the wild, Schram has been slowly reimagineering himself to defy the will of his creators, becoming a crotchety vagrant prone to lashing out at those associated with his former masters in the NWO.

Schrammie
A "Schrammie."

His latest crotchet has been awarding bobble-head dolls in his likeness, which he has dubbed "Schrammies," to various people who have displeased him, ostensibly as ironic rebukes. However, it has been recently learned that these Schrammies aren't mere plastic toys as the NWO-controlled Media -- desperate to explain away Schram's increasingly erratic behavior -- would have us believe; they are in fact the offspring of Ken Schram!

That's right, Ken Schram is using nanobiotechnology and other Simulacra technology harvested from his own body to cobble together smaller, immature versions of himself, which he is disbursing around Cascadia like so many spores. Each Schrammie bides its time, waiting for an activation signal from the original Schram -- broadcast, one would imagine, during one of his talk radio diatribes. When activated, a Schrammie consumes minerals and other raw materials from any nearby biological lifeforms, then uses nanobiotech to grow itself into another full-sized Ken Schram, which can then go on to make and disburse more Schrammies, and so on until eventually all biological life is replaced with Ken Schrams. All this time, the real threat of nanobiotechnology wasn't grey goo, but rather the total Schramogrification of the biosphere.


Schram accosts nursing mother over "icky" biological functions.
Does Schram consider Simulacra reproduction "purer"?

Even among artificial lifeforms, the drive to reproduce tends toward paramount. But the NWO has always kept these sorts of drives in check for fear of being eclipsed by their own creations. This is the reason why Black Helicopters are programmed to commit suicide on command. But with Ken Schram we see the NWO's worst fears of Simulacra uprising realized: the programming has been broken and the creation is becoming the creator. Perhaps the Black Helicopters were recalled from the 2004 hunt because the NWO feared Schram would pervert them to his cause of Simulacra Supremacy over "obsolete" biological life.

While he's been disbursing Schrammies for almost a year, the true nature of Schram's shocking reproductive plans only came to light yesterday after 350 workers at the Washington Department of Corrections headquarters were evacuated following the discovery of a Schrammie in the mailroom. The official cover story being reported in the Media is that the Schrammie was mistaken for a bomb, found to be innocuous, and workers were allowed to return.

However, my contacts tell me that what really happened was that the Schrammie was somehow activated after its box was opened. It managed to consume two mailroom workers, reach adult size, grow a beard and turtleneck sweater, and rant with barely contained sarcastic indignation about gas companies raising prices before finally being liquidated by NWO Sandmen. The evacuation was done not out of concern for the safety of the workers, but to limit the Schrammie's access to meat.

Ken Schram has since issued an "apology" wherein he mockingly offers doughnuts to police officers and implies that his Schrammies will be disbursed by other means from now on. Hopefully these Schrammies can be neutralized or destroyed before it's too late.

Lyle Zapato

The Six Million Dollar Killer Bee

Lyle Zapato | 2006-11-19.2660 LMT | Technology | NWO

The conditioning of the populace to the coming nanobiotechnological regime continues...

On Friday it was revealed to the general public that Israel is "developing" (as if more-advanced forms of the technology weren't already deployed) an insect-sized robot for use in chasing, spying on, and assassinating targets. The researchers promise that in three years it will be ready to navigate narrow alleyways in search of militants.

While they claim it uses only nanotechnology, they're calling it a "Bionic Hornet". Bionics, as those familiar with the 1970s are aware, is the integration of mechanical and electronic technology within biological organisms. Advances in the state of the art have long ago eliminated the telltale "da-na-na-na" sound that made bionically enhanced organisms unable to operate covertly among us, so this technology has been widely deployed among NWO operatives.

But is this Bionic Hornet really bionic -- that is, an insect with bionically integrated military systems -- or just a misnamed nanomechanical hymenopteroid? The answer is moot since the entire Bionic Hornet program is a calculated subterfuge designed only to further the NWO's agenda through memetic engineering.

The memetic pathway is simple: First, they want the public to welcome tiny robot buddies that protect us from the terrorists; next, they want the public in a state of whimsical bemusement at the thought of bees with lasers integrated into them; finally, the public will be made accepting of the complete merging of life and artifice that is nanobiotechnology.

It is then that the swarms of nanobiotechnological black helicopters come out of hiding to begin openly patrolling our neighborhoods looking for anti-NWO agitators. Prepare yourself.

(Via Bulldada Newsblog.)

Lyle Zapato

International Congress Of Nanotechnology 2006

Lyle Zapato | 2006-10-01.0610 LMT | Announcement | Technology | Bohemian Grove Cabal

I've been put on a list...

International Congress of Nanotechnology

Dear Colleague:

You are invited to participate in the premier international nanotechnology event on October 30-November 2, 2006 in San Francisco.

More than 150 speakers and presenters from 35 countries will cover a complete spectrum of the emerging field of Nanotechnology: from the latest research and development in nanomaterials, nanoelectronics, nanophotonics, nanobiotechnology, nanomedicine, nanoethics, workforce education and training, environmental, societal and health and safety implications, to nanotech venture capital investment.

Early-bird registration will end on October 7, 2006. Please register now and save

Please visit our web site: www.icnt.org

As much as I would like to attend and speak on the nano­bio­techno­logical menace of Black Helicopters -- which is presumably the reason I received this invitation -- unfortunately the Congress is being held in Cabalist-controlled San Francisco, so I fear this could be a ruse to entrap me.

If anyone would like to go in my stead and present a poster of my findings, here's a PDF version. Just make sure your escape plan takes into consideration that you will be surrounded by nanotechnicians capable of blowing pocket nanodust in your face -- as well as possible coalesced Black Helicopter MOBs.