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Lyle Zapato

AFDB vs. Tesla Coil... In A Pool

Lyle Zapato | 2007-06-09.2720 LMT | Technology | Mind Control

Tesla Downunder is an Australian site documenting one man's spectacular experiments with Tesla coils (and rail guns, and lasers, and aluminum foil lifters, and cetera). One of his recent experiments involved zapping his AFDB with 100,000 volt sparks while floating in a pool:

AFDB zapped by Tesla coil
Don't try this at home. Unless you have a pool and Tesla coil.

His verdict: "There is no sensation at all when sparks hit me." So, there you go. Don't listen to the FUD from the Forces of Mind Control; AFDBs are perfectly lightning safe.

Lyle Zapato

A Paranoid Alternative Fuel?

Lyle Zapato | 2007-05-18.5640 LMT | Technology | Mind Control

Hydrogen is an ideal alternative fuel source with a slight problem -- how to safely transport and store it. Now researchers have come up with a simple solution using the paranoid's best friend, aluminum.

A mixture of aluminum and gallium pellets act as a catalyst when mixed with water to produce pure hydrogen gas. After burning, the only waste products are water, aluminum oxide, and gallium (all of which can be recycled). Filling up your tank would mean adding water and occasionally refreshing the aluminum pellets. (Well, more likely there would be a replaceable canister containing the Al/Ga pellets. Replacing the oxidize aluminum would be done at a recycling facility, not by the consumer.)

Normally, aluminum is impervious to corrosion in water since it rapidly forms a thin, protective shell of aluminum oxide (aka corundum, the base mineral for ruby and sapphire) that keeps the bulk of the metal unoxidized. This desirable property is what makes AFDBs safe to wear in rainy Cascadia.

Gallium disrupts the formation of this shell by diffusing into the aluminum's surface, allowing the water to fully oxidize the aluminum. This, of course, separates the hydrogen from the oxygen in water, providing the fuel. An incredibly simple and elegant solution to all our energy woes, it would seem.

One has to wonder, though, why researchers were exploring aluminum corrosion technology when they stumbled upon this fuel-producing side-effect. Could it be that mind-control technicians were developing chemical attacks against aluminum-based psychotronic deflection technology? Almost certainly yes!

By coating surfaces with a gallium powder catalyst -- distributed, perhaps, by chemtrail planes -- the Forces of Mind Control could eat away at paranoid protective defenses as rain and ambient humidity slowly, but surely, turn our beanies and anti-psychotronic bunkers into piles of aluminum rust.

And what better WMD (weapon of metal degradation) to use than gallium, a sinister doppelgänger of aluminum -- born like an evil twin as a byproduct of aluminum extraction -- whose atomic number is 31, the reverse of aluminum's 13.

While gallium also has psychotronic properties (it's in the same periodic group as aluminum, skulking just below on the table), it's of little service to the paranoid since its low melting point of ~303 K makes it useless for deflector beanies, heated bunkers, and general summertime paranoia. In fact, the most common beneficiaries of gallium's psychotronic properties are the NWO, who use it for adaptive deflective elements in the psychotron cores of mind control satellites -- I've seen the schematics!

Increased production and distribution of gallium under the guise of fuel-pellet technology might just give the Forces of Mind Control the cover they need to enact this corrosive doomsday scenario. It would be a sad irony if we were to gain energy independence only to lose our minds.

Lyle Zapato

ThreadBanger Explains The AFDB

Lyle Zapato | 2007-05-18.4520 LMT | Mind Control | Fashion

This week's Thread Head podcast from DIY fashionista network ThreadBanger tackles hats -- in particular, the Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie. Watch these AFDB build instructions especially designed for those Web 2.0 types who only accept information presented in video format:

EMBEDDED VIDEO REMOVED SINCE IT NOW AUTO-PLAYS COMMERCIALS
Watch it on their site instead...

Note: their AFDB build substitutes the tape matrix from steps 6 & 7 of the canonical build instructions with a regular hat acting as both beanie stabilizer and camouflage. This is certainly acceptable, especially if you are going to camouflage the beanie anyway, but care must be taken that the beanie is securely ensquished inside the hat and that the hat fits snuggly on the head so that it is unlikely to blow off or else you run the risk of Catastrophic Beanie Failure.

Also, if you are hosting a DIY show on making AFDBs and a Paraterrestrial Agent of Mind Control is patroling in the area, do not remove your aluminum fortified hat to point out the innards to the camera! That's just reckless hostery.

Lyle Zapato

Two Bad Ideas

Lyle Zapato | 2007-01-25.2416 LMT | Entertainment | Monorail Danger

Walter emailed me two bad ideas (not his)...

Brandon Flowers of the RIAA-approved music group The Killers is promoting a bad idea in an upcoming music video:

Dual Headed AFDB

While building an AFDB using a hardhat substrate is a valid, if somewhat harder to hide, method of beanie construction, connecting two of them together with an aluminumized tube that will allow psychotronic energies to be transmitted back and forth between two wearers is strongly unadvised. Yes, it will still protect you from most mind control, but do you really want some strange little Japanese kid piping his thoughts directly into your brain, nullifying your individual brain patterns and turning you both into a two-person hive-mind obsessed with Ultraman and sexual ambiguity? Try again, Brandon.

The next bad idea is from Mass Tram America, Inc. and is called The Highway In The Sky:

Highway in the Sky

They propose taking old Boeing 7x7 fuselages stripped of wings and tail fins, attaching them below monorail tracks hung from suspension cables on towers, and powering the whole system with solar cells and wind turbines. Even by monorail standards this is just daft. What happens when it bursts into flames and the cables melt? At least with traditional above-rail monorails the pedestrians below need only fear flying debris. When this system fails, the whole train will plummet to the ground like a streamlined bomb. And with no control surfaces, there's no way for the monorail captain to steer the flaming mass away from the innocents on the roads over which they propose to build these things. Try again, Mass Tram America, Inc. (perhaps by putting the repurposed fuselages safely inside tubes).

Lyle Zapato

Alumiversary

Lyle Zapato | 2007-01-05.8905 LMT | Announcement | Site

How in the world did I not know this (worse yet, why did I have to learn it from Katie Couric):

The traditional symbolic gift for a ten year anniversary is...

ALUMINUM!

So, forget what I said about 2007 being The Anniversary. From here on it shall be known as The Alumiversary! (or The Alumiversiary for our British friends.)

Of course, True Paranoids celebrate every day as if it were an alumiversary. Shine on, you crazy corundums.

Lyle Zapato

...And Phones Too

Lyle Zapato | 2006-08-09.6930 LMT | General Paranoia

The Barry Bittwister Cabal presents a problem:

Your cell phone is tracking you, you know. By law, your phone has to tell where you are within 125 meters when you call 911, which isn't so bad on the face of it. However, the telecom systems can use your phone to track you at any time. In some cases, this can be done even when your phone is off. We're not sure how you feel about it, but we don't like being fitted with a radio collar at all times. This nonconsensual tracking is growing common in the US now, but has been around in Europe for quite a number of years. So what's a paranoid to do?

Their solution? The Invisifier, an aluminum & duct tape sheath for your cell. Its dual-action AFDB/Faraday cage construction keeps psychotronic signals from your phone in and EM tracking signals from the NGA satellites out.

(If I had just waited two centidays for the email I could have included this with the previous post and padded that out a bit...)

Lyle Zapato

Aluminum Foil Deflector Drives

Lyle Zapato | 2006-08-09.5520 LMT | General Paranoia

The blog for Mozy, an online backup service, has a post titled "Chinese BlueGenes" that explains how they not only use 448-bit-key encryption -- which would take at least three hundred thousand years for someone to crack -- to keep your data secure on their drives, but go the extra mile and wrap their drives in individual aluminum foil Faraday cages to keep out prying van Eck phreakers and telekineticists.

Lyle Zapato

The Magnetic Monopole Spacecraft

Lyle Zapato | 2006-08-04.9600 LMT | Technology

He's a hyperinventing hypermachine! Hot on the heals of his Triangular and Photon spacecraft, John Q. St. Clair brings us yet another new propulsion design: The Magnetic Monopole Spacecraft, which is...

a spacecraft propulsion system that generates a field of wormholes which are threaded with a magnetic field. Acting as two attracting magnets, the spacecraft's north magnetic field is attracted to the constantly regenerating south magnetic monopoles of the wormholes which provides lift on the hull.

St. Clair Magnetic Monopole Spacecraft, FIG. 11
FIG. 11.

Of particular interest here at ZPi, check out these key system components:

... a lower hull made of aluminum sheet having a shallow spherical profile [21]; a circular flat sloping hull made of aluminum sheet attached to the top of the lower hull on the periphery [22]; ... a hemispherical cupola in the shape of a dome made of aluminum sheet [23] ...

The thing's a flying AFDB with built in basal protection! This could be the ideal vehicle for paranoid space exploration.

FIG. 15: Perspective view of generation of negative energy.

But more on the fascinating method by which the MMS works...

[24] in FIG. 11 is "an electrically-insulated plastic-molded tubular cylindrical hull containing slots for mounting an array of radial microwave waveguides", which are needed to produce a radial electro­magnetic field of microwave beams [30 in FIG. 15, right] which interact with the circular magnetic field [33] produced by the oscillating magnetic flux density field [34] to generate negative energy [32] that in turn generates the field of wormholes between space and hyperspace over the hull [35] that cause the lift.

Simple, really.

With every patent application, St. Clair gradually reveals to mankind more of his insight into hyper-reality. This time we learn why his home of Puerto Rico is ideally situated on Earth to conduct hyperspace research:

[T]he corners of a tetrahedron circumscribed by a sphere touch the sphere at an angle of -19.47°. Looking at the planets of the solar system, the Giant Red Spot vortex of Jupiter, which can hold two planets the size of Earth, is located at this angle. On Mars, the Olympic Mons volcano, which is the size of France, is located at north 19.5°. Here in the Caribbean there is a slow moving rock mantle vortex at north 19.5° that curves the islands down toward Venezuela. So the geometry of space is related to the tetrahedron. What this suggests is that there is a subspace manifold whose tetrahedral geometry projects all the constants of physics into our dimension.

[Numerous technical diagrams and mathematical formulas about said subspace manifold...]

While this is the mathematical explanation as to why there are hyperspace co-dimensions, I can attest personally to the fact, as described in my patent application Full Body Teleportation, that I was teleported through hyperspace and returned to our dimension over a distance of 100 meters.

Jupiter, Mars, and roads next to airports in Puerto Rico aren't the only places where unusual phenomena are associated near 19.47° latitude (and need I point out that Puerto Rico is the southern point of the Bermuda Triangle or that the Roswell incident happened in 1947?); see Planetary Anomalies for a list of others in our solar system. Also see Hyperdimensional Physics for more on the hypertrigonometry behind this and the Cydonia complex.

Alternate application copy: US2006168937

Lyle Zapato

Two New Spacecraft

Lyle Zapato | 2006-07-09.5500 LMT | Technology

Hyperinventor John Q. St. Clair returns from his diverting experiments with mere surface rail travel and brings us two new spacecraft designs.

First is his Triangular Spacecraft:

St. Clair Triangular Spacecraft, FIG. 1

This invention is a spacecraft with a triangular hull having charged flat plates on the vertical corners of the three sides. The two rear corners are charged to a potential V. The forward corner is charged to a potential -V. The 60° angle on the corner creates a line charge density singularity that produces a huge horizontal electric field pointing from the back to the front of the craft which is also parallel to the sides of the triangle. An array of horizontal slot antennas located on the sides of the triangular hull produce an electromagnetic wave with the electric field polarized in the vertical direction. This combination of fields produces a spacetime force in both the vertical and horizontal directions such that the spacecraft receives a lift force and a force of propulsion.

(The design is somewhat reminiscent of not only Lifter technology but certain paraterrestrial designs. Given St. Clair's extensive contact with the Pleiadian Federation via astral projection, one might wonder if he isn't simply patenting technology that he cribbed from the Intelligent Insect Beings, who, as we learned in his patent application for the Remote Viewing Amplifier, also fly black triangles over France and Belgium.)

His next design is the Photon Spacecraft, a hull-integrated propulsion system that employs photon particles to generate a field of negative energy over the spacecraft's aluminum hull which forms wormholes between space and hyperspace in order to produce lift, as illustrated below:

St. Clair Photon Spacecraft, FIG. 6

The gravitational potential between hyperspace and space is positive because the hyperspace energy is more positive than the negative energy around the hull. Thus the low-density, low-speed-of-light hyperspace energy flows through the wormhole and fills the hull. This has the effect of reducing the effective mass of the hull. Because the electric field generates a positive pressure over the hull in the vertical z-direction, there is an upward force on the vehicle due to the pressure times the hull area. Since the vehicle has a low mass, there is a modest upward acceleration on the spacecraft equal to the force divided by mass.

St. Clair uses this patent application to address skeptics who still -- perversely at this point -- doubt the reality of hyperspace (I've taken the liberty of bolding interesting details not previously covered here):

Hyperspace consists of the those co-dimensions which have different physics constants such as a low speed of light. The existence of hyperspace, which has a white misty look, is not a well-known scientific concept. Experiments with our magnetic vortex wormhole generators, hyperspace torque generator, full body levitation using Chi Kung breathing, arm levitation by spinning the co-gravitational K field, full body teleportation through hyperspace a distance of 100 meters using a pulsed gravitational wave, jumping into hyperspace, having a plate of toast enfold off the breakfast table and disappear into thin air, walking through walls and doors out-of-dimension, looking into other dimensions, remote viewing through subspace to distances of 100,000 light years, and other electromagnetic experiments carried out by co-researchers, have shown us the reality and existence of hyperspace.

Alternate application copies: Triangular Spacecraft (US2006145019) & Photon Spacecraft (US2006144035)

Lyle Zapato

WARNING: Beware Of Beanie Snatchers

Lyle Zapato | 2006-06-06.3126 LMT | General Paranoia

In 2004 I reported on "aluminum thieves" targeting Cascadia. Well, the problem has gotten worse according to the Associated Press.

This time officials are blaming unexpected demand in Asia for increases in aluminum prices spurring theft. While it is true that the spread of AFDB awareness in China -- with over a billion potential paranoids -- will eventually increase aluminum demand, we haven't yet reached the paranoia penetration necessary to explain the wide-spread aluminum theft panic that is being fomented via the AP.

More likely, these reports of metal thieves are manufactured to dissuade paranoids from wearing their beanies in public, where they would be easy pickings for mind-controllers, or to provide plausible deniability for an increased campaign of AFDB snatchery by agents of mind control. Mind-control skeptics could be encouraged to dismiss what should otherwise be the obvious, orthonoia-shattering conclusion of a rash of missing beanies by peppering the media with reports of aluminum guard-rail and bleacher thefts.

In any case, make sure your AFBD is properly camouflaged to avoid detection by thieves after either metal or your mind. If you are detected, extra securing tape looped under facial traction points such as the chin or nose will help keep the beanie affixed to your cranium.