ZPi Logo "Serving the Paranoid
since 1997"
Lyle Zapato

Government-Backed Youths Monitoring Me

Lyle Zapato | 2016-10-07.9270 LMT | General Paranoia | Technology

I have long suspected that government agents were enlisting specially trained children to track me under the guise of tree octopus education (or, more likely, miseducation). Now I have proof.

Here is a leaked photo showing "students" being briefed on my dossier:

"Teacher" pointing to my general location being in the Republic of Cascadia.

And here's a video showing them using government-issued laptops to scrutinize my website for possible avenues of attack and discrediting:

Note the one junior agent, presumably a linguist and not an IT analyst, who has taken specific interest in my profile's language section. "What's Rexx?" she asks.

Well, Rexx (Restructured Extended Executor) is an interpreted programming language, now somewhat obscure, that was used in AmigaOS for scripting and interapplication communication. The very first prototype version of MindGuard was written in Rexx, before I ported it to an even more obscure language, E. (Later non-Amiga versions were written in C for increased accessibility to orthonoids needing to bootstrap their minds to a more-paranoid Amiga Consciousness.)

So, there's some free intel for you. Not that it will help. By the time you discover my whereabouts and report your findings to your teacher/handler, I will have escaped via pneumatic tube to the Sasquatch-controlled wilderness of Cascadia.

Do not follow if you value your limbs.

UPDATE 2016-10-26: The monitoring continues...

End of post.