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Lyle Zapato

The Atomium Resurfaces

Lyle Zapato | 2005-09-16.7320 LMT | Belgian Conspiracy | Aluminum

In the guestbook, Cascadia Patriot points to a news story today about the Belgians unveiling the Atomium's restored exterior. They're claiming that its new stainless steel coverings will stand up to Belgium's supposedly wet and windy weather better than the old aluminum ones. This is a lie for two reasons:

Mirror balls and tubes -- sure, that doesn't look like it exists only in a computer. Where's the checkerboard ground receding into infinity?

1) The Atomium doesn't exist.

I mean, just look at it! Who would build such a ridiculous thing? It is a fictitious building in a fictitious country. As such, fictitious weather isn't going to affect it, except fictitiously. They only pretend to have such absurd buildings to make Belgium seem like a technological Utopia (that and it's supposedly the HQ of Captain Euro.)

2) Aluminum can stand up to the elements just fine.

In reality, this whole "renovation" story is a ruse to spread FUD about Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanies. They want you to associate aluminum with something to be removed and disposed of, hoping you will "renovate" your currently safely beanied head, thus leaving yourself exposed to the Conspiracy's psychotronic manipulation.

Furthermore, as reported here previously, the Belgians were selling the supposedly stripped off aluminum sheet to the public, hoping that paranoids would be foolish enough to buy it for use in shielding their homes so they can walk around beanieless, not realizing that the aluminum was newly manufactured with embedded psychotronic circuitry that would turn any structure shielded with it into a Belgification device.

Thanks, "Belgium", but I'll stick with my AFDB and the more probable architecture of Cascadia...

End of post.