Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie

An Effective, Low-Cost Solution To Combating Mind-Control

Testimonials: Page 4

Warning: Do not stick your head in the microwave to test this product. Boy, do the sparks fly!! I nearly burned my whole house down!!

- "Hot Cranium" [2002-12-06]

......since i've started wearing my AFDB the homocidal urges have compleatly subsided....though I'm still quit annoyed by noisy colors........

- H. L. Stein [2002-11-14]


I was so worried that there was something wrong with my son, but now that we have all started using the AFDB, he has finally begun his trip down the road to recovery. Thanks to AFBD!!!

- G [2002-11-08]


My AFDB protects me!

- Anya [2002-09-13]

I am a large breasted woman, and am using the foil not only on my head but as a bra too, thus protecting me from any unwanted advances from mind controling aliens and other foreign objects..... your web site has been a life saver, my thanks to all off you for spreading the good news and saving millions from the demons of mind control....

- "jeannie" from North Dakota [2002-09-12]

[This is an intriguing use of foil technologies. Please send copious photos so that our technicians can study the geometery of your deflector bra. For science, of course.]

K.K. and friend hard at work


After watching the movie Signs and reading your information, me and my friend now consider ourself fully protected against an alian attack.

Thank you very much."

- K.K. [2002-09-04]

[The movie "Signs" has brought much attention to the use of AFDBs against paraterrestrial mind-control. Although the movie has some paranoid cred (its star, Mel Gibson, was also in the documentary "Conspiracy Theory") it is important to remember that this is a Hollywood production (and even worse, a Disney one!), so technical accuracy will take a back seat to disinformational propaganda. Besides being utterly wrong about crop circles (which are actually a natural phenomenon resulting from the psychotronic emissions of grasses and only tangentially related to paraterrestral activities -- more on this in my forthcoming book), Mr. Shyamalan misleads his audience into believing that AFDBs must have a top-twist (as K.K. and his friend have added) to be effective.

In fact, this addition is not only not necessary, it can have a negative side effect -- one which the Hollywood faction of the forces of mind control have, no doubt, intended. The top-twist makes camouflaging more difficult, necessitating an unusually tall hat for coverage if one wishes to avoid retribution by practitioners of mind control. Such a hat would look no different from normal hats to paraterrestrials observing us from space -- due both to their top-down perspective and lack of knowledge of terrestrial haberdashery norms -- thus they would not realize that a person wearing one was trying to avoid their psychotronic control. However, to the human forces of mind control the unusual hat would stand out and invite increased attention to the wearer. In particular, such a hat worn in a movie theater would draw immediate attention since the person sitting behind the wearer would complain noisily. Mind control agents disguised as ushers would then be able to quickly swoop in and claim the wearer in the name of the Hollywood Elite, filling his theretofore psychotronically unaffected brain with MPAA propaganda delivered psyoptically via their special mind-control flashlights.

So, K.K., while you and your friend may continue to employ top-twists on your AFDBs while in the relative safety of your office, I would suggest scrunching them down before going out to see any more movies together.]

Professional ModelProfessional Model closeup

Here is the professional model I use at work and for job interviews. This is probably more than you would need for casual wear around the house and when working in the yard.

- C.H. [2002-03-06]

C.H. continues in detail...

Professional Model Technical Notes: The outer shell is constructed of a fractal cellulose substrate with glutenous binding or, in lay terms, "paper mache". A large internal air chamber makes the device more comfortable for long-term use and the resonant insulating chamber thus formed permits use of a much lighter, thinner and more economical single layer of external reflective coating. Any recurrent obsessive thoughts are channeled into the self-reactive feedback loops (visible top and center) where they cycle endlessly in the background and are harmlessly dissipated as weak gravity waves. As a welcome side effect, this innovation also acts as a design filter that reduces the incidence of endless loops and recursive stack overflows in my software. The black cerebral resonating chambers (visible front and center) are constructed of a piezoelectric polymer naturally occurring as common plastic drinking cups. These are phase-spaced over the frontal nodes (or, in my case, the former location of same) based on the usual height-to-base area ratio of the Egyptian pyramids. The resonators help to amplify desireable local thoughts while absorbing excess energy that would normally be leaked as unwanted though emissions to be received by hostile entities. These resonators also improve the local signal-to-noise ratio ("LSNR") of local thoughts, thus obscuring transmissions from external sources. The red devices (visible on the left and right) are constructed of the same piezoelectric material and are present for purely aesthetic reasons that I prefer not to reveal at this time.

[Very ingenious Mr. H.; however, the novice paranoid should stick to the basic beanie design since the exact placing of resonance chambers and feedback loops can be tricky for those without the engineering acumen that you clearly exhibit (as evident by your expertly aligned pocket protector).]

Mikey the teddy

For years my teddy has sat on the back of the sofa with a blank look on his face. Until I discovered your site I thought this was just normal. Now I think we are on the road to recovery.

- Brian [2002-02-08]

[While protecting your teddybear from psychotronic mind control is very important, you shouldn't forget the cerebrally corrupting power of psyoptical mind control. I would advise getting rid of that mind-bending blanket if you want your teddy to have a full recovery.]

Arlene Crump, stylishly sane

I have used the AFDB for the past 6 months and not only have I prevented Government Space Robots from reading my mind, but have lost 2 pounds of ugly fat and 2 inches from my head! Thank You for making me a happier person!

PS. I have also made a dress from colored foil that has prevented further loss of vital engergies to Government Space Robots!

- Arlene Crump, Dallas, Texas [2001-12-25]

I have spent the last 36.8 months testing the different protective factors of the two AFDB's your website promotes, and my results have indicated that the European AFDB's made with aluminium work better at shielding psychotronic waves then the American AFDB's made with aluminum. (It has a lot to do with the second dot provided by the additional i ) For the safety of your patrons, I suggest that you make this research available on your site. That is unless you don't want us to know. Maybe you are trying to lull us into a false sense of security with your promotion of the less effective AFDB's. If that is the case, I must warn you... I know the truth, and I have connections high up at the local National Public Radio office.

- s.t.d. [2001-11-28]

[Research availability forthcoming pending further paranoid peer review.]

10 gallon AFDB

It are important that we not misunderestimate the power of Alimony Dereliction Beans to stop evildoers from subliminably hurting the minds of those who is having them.

- g.w.b. [2001-10-15]

I have experimented with pyramidal shapes for quite some time and find them to have powers yet to be defined. The Washington monument peak is indeed being exploited by psychotronics projects at one of the agencies.

Because of this pyramidal "effect" or "power" I have re-designed my AFDB eliminating sharp edges [caused by crumpling] or small pyramidal shapes inherent in the crumpling of aluminum. The new Smoothed AFDB design or SAFDB has improved my psychotronic protection by a factor of three.

- e.j.p. [2001-09-05]

I have worn an AFDB under my hat for years. A friend suggested that this might cure my insomnia... it turns out that nightime psychotronics disturb me greatly. Since then my complexion has cleared and I was able to find true love.

But I have written to alert you and those who visit your website of another major threat. Your AFDB will do no good without proper protection from the evil minions of Them... Backstreet Boys, N'Sync, and Brittany Spears prominent among them.

My solution is to bring the sides of the beanie down over the ears, like a hunting cap. I have also had success with rolling up foil and using it for an earplug. Normal earplugs work as well but seem to absorb more sound and less Psychotronic suggestion.

- j.t. [2001-08-21]


These are the 'Before & After' shots of my own AFDB animal testing program. The subject's name is 'Spike' (not his real name). These results are preliminary. You be the judge.

- d.b. [2001-08-20]

Thanks for the technical update! What I had been wearing was a skullcap of melted-down lead (heavy & noisy in hail storms) stuck on with peanut butter & tied under the chin with banana skins (mostly biodegradable).

- Uncle Dave [2001-07-10]

The Astronomer (click to enlarge)The Optimist (click to enlarge)

I have long been a believer. The antennas are both stylish and help short the signals so that you remain untrackable. I have also found that it helps to wear your shoes on the opposite feet and stuff your pockets with junk. Thank you for spreading the WORD.

- m.n.h. [2001-05-07]

I am in the military (I can't say which branch under the National Security Act of 1954). I can assure you that the military is involved in the mind control of their troops. A superior of mine got discharged, and later contacted me and told me to go to your site. It saved me, and I'm currently working to expose the diobolical scheme from the inside. In fact, they don't even know I have this e-mail under a different name! Freedom for the mind, freedom for the masses!!

- r.p. [2001-05-02]

R.J.W. in AFDBR.J.W.'s RV

have my personal AFDB in place as well as a heavy duty, rail mounted RV with full protection via external and internal shielding. I travel by no other means nowadays.

- r.j.w. [2001-03-15]

It's great.

My business is inspecting for electronic eavesdropping devices. You would be amazed to know how many of the people who call are really in the category that needs more aluminum.

- g.m. [2001-01-04]

Dr. Ernesto, agent of mind-control (dramatization)

THOSE FOOLS! Can't they see that by living without the protective benefits afforded by cranial aluminium shielding that they will be mere PUPPETS to agents of mind-control such as myself?!

- Dr. Ernesto [2000-12-03]

THANK YOU!! I found your site looking for beanie babies. Since I have such an addiction to the cute little things, I decided to try your method and see if it would help. My addiction has cost me everything, well almost. I still have my car,(which I'm living in with my laptop), but have lost my wife, kids, business, and house from spending every dime on the babies. Was just getting ready to sell the car to buy more beanies when I made your beanie and wore it for 3 days. Eureka it works!! Now I'm content to just walk into the store and look at them. Did try to purchase one but by the time I got to the counter and drooled all over it and the cash register they kicked me out of the store.

- Bruce [2000-10-16]

W.J.C. seeking refuge in aluminum

They have been looking in my brain... it's the only way they could have found out about everything! Aluminum is my only chance to keep them out of my head! Thank you for informing me about it!"

- w.j.c. [2000-08-06]

I cannot express the depth of my gratitude for the relieve you have brought. The tape worked nicely and I slept peacefully for the first time in years. I hope they don't find a way to circumvent your wonderful invention.

- d.p. [2000-06-10]

Y.M. (right) and un-named actor

I am an actress and, as such, am constantly in close exposure to the Hollywood mind-control industry... While working on a film in the late 1970's, I discovered the benefits of the AFDB and have been using one ever since. I recommend them highly to all actors!

- y.m. [2000-06-01]

Thank you so much! This has changed my life. I have often thought that many of life's constant pressures were as a result of negative phychotronic energy. Soon after visiting the Washington Monument my life began to fall apart.

Now I wear my AFDB with pride on the city streets. I'm happy and content in the knowledge that I am protected from harmful energy.

- j.l. [2000-05-25]

Met een 'Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie' blijven uw geheimen uw geheimen.

- Planet Internet [1998-11-30]

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