ZPi

Research Labs

“Innovating The Future So You Don't Have To”

Days Since Last Paradigm Shift
ZRL Paradigm Shift Awareness Clock in our psychothermodynamics lab — having only two digits has never been an issue for us!

Welcome to the headquarters of ZPi Research Labs (ZRL), the alternative scientific research and development branch of Zapato Productions intradimensional. Here at ZRL, we apply the cutting edge of science to the meaty loaf of the unknown in order to slice up some nice, thick slabs of juicy knowledge, which we serve to you -- the public -- on the plate of the Internet at no charge.

Founded in 1997 by Lyle Zapato with a grant from Kelvinic University, ZRL has since proved self-sufficient with the many practical -- and profitable -- applications its research has generated. Through the years, however, our main goal has remained to use science and technology to enrich the lives of humanity and fight against subjugation by the forces of evil.

Unlike other alternative science research organizations that only produce pseudoscience, ZRL produces science, pseudoscience, quasiscience, metascience, and occasionally even transcience. At ZRL, we are diligently working to liberate your mind and bring you the wonders of tomorrow, today!

Facilities

ZRL operates out of a secret compound hidden deep in the Republic of Cascadia, hominoided by highly trained Sasquatch lab assistants overseen by our chief technologist, theorist, futurist, and founder, Lyle Zapato. Our secrecy and seclusion ensures that our research is unhindered by the needs of orthodoxy, allowing us to shift paradigms at a rate 35.83% greater than more mainstream laboratories.

Some of ZRL's impressive facilities include:

  • A psychotronics lab equipped with the most up to date equipment that can be found in the hands of non-agents of mind control, allowing us to better develop means of evasion, countermeasures, and curative technologies.
  • A nanobiotechnology collection containing numerous black helicopter parts scavenged from spontaneous combustions and cattle mutilations, as well as an extensive library of illicitly obtained schematics, grainy photos, and shaky videos.
  • A food science department that has consistently rated highest in hominoid taste-tests with our Mocktopus™ artificial tree-octopus substitute.

Research

A list of our research projects and applications deriving therefrom that have been made public can be found on the left. ZRL is engage in many more research and development projects that we can't divulge at this time, but when we can, you'll find them listed here.