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Lyle Zapato

Nanotube Nanomonorails

Lyle Zapato | 2008-04-12.1780 LMT | Monorail Danger | Black Helicopters

Back in 2005, I reported that monorailists were threatening to weave nanomonorails into our clothing. At the time these nanomonorails were constructed using nanobiotechnology adapted from Black Helicopter research. The Monorailists used ATP and kinesin, two biological molecules found in our cells, thus making a nanomonorail that was a sort of human/nanomonorail chimera -- a "manomonorail", if you will.

Copyright A. Barreiro et al., Science
Nanomonorail stalled in middle of track -- just like a real monorail!

Now Monorailsts in Spain -- presumably following some sort of disagreement with the Black Helicopter nano­bio­tech­nicians -- have devised a new form of non-biological nano­monorail technology which they claim has the theoretical ability to move 100 million times faster than those using biological motor proteins.

Both the rail and the shuttle of their nanomonorail are built from carbon nanotubes, the car sliding over the rail like a sleeve. Movement comes from thermomechanical action instead of through a perversion of biology:

They attached each end of the nanotube track, about 300 nanometres long, to metal platforms, so that the tube stretched between them through empty space. Then they fixed a flake of gold to the shuttle tube, which was intended to hold molecular cargo.

When the researchers passed an electrical current through the bridging nanotube, which acts like a 'wire' connecting the metal plates, they found that some shuttle tubes moved towards the nearest plate. Others simply revolved at a fixed location.

"At first we thought it was the electrons that were moving the nanotube," says Bachtold. But the direction of motion didn't depend on the direction of the current.

Instead, the researchers concluded that the current was simply heating up the device, and that this was what was moving the shuttle. This mechanism "came as a surprise", says Bachtold.

Because heat is conducted out of the nanotube by the metal plates, the system is hottest in the middle and cooler at the ends. This means that the thermal shaking of the track tube is strongest in the middle -- which makes the sleeve tube move towards whichever end is nearer. It is a little like shaking the free end of a rope tied to a tree, with a hoop threaded onto the rope. The waves in the rope will usher the hoop towards the tree.

Fortunately for those dreading the day when nanomonorails bind the entire biosphere into a fine, homogeneous gray mesh, there's a major problem the Monorailists need to work out: their shuttle gets hot enough to destroy any cargo on board. Not surprising considering the same problem is too-often exhibited by macromonorails.

Lyle Zapato

Edison & Kelvin: A Contrast In Cruelty

Lyle Zapato | 2008-01-04.3520 LMT | Kelviniana | Elephants

Wired notes that on this day in 1903 Thomas Edison electrocuted an elephant to death as part of his smear campaign against alternating current, a system in competition with his patented direct current system. As the War of Currents raged, Edison grew increasingly alarmed at the acceptance of AC as the electrical distribution standard, and so set out to scare the public into believing it was too dangerous through a series of publicized animal executions using AC. Topsy the elephant was merely a notable exception in a long string of fried dogs and cats. (Edison also promoted the use of an AC electric chair for human executions, even though he was opposed to capital punishment; such was his desire to tarnish the image of a competitor at any cost.)

It should not surprise readers of this site that the decision that led to AC beating out DC came from none other than the Lord Kelvin.

1895 International
Niagara Falls Commission
The International Niagara Falls Commission, headed by Lord Kelvin (center).

It was Lord Kelvin who headed the 1895 International Niagara Falls Commission that chose Nikola Tesla's alternating current system over other proposals, including the Edison-backed DC system from General Electric, and awarded Westinghouse the contract to construct the hydroelectric generators at Niagara Falls. This highly-visible project showed the practicality of the system and turned the tide in favor of AC.

Kelvin had originally been opposed to alternating current before being swayed at the 1893 Chicago Exposition. His acceptance of Tesla's system actually completed a circuit, since an inspiration for much of Tesla's research was Kelvin's 1853 paper "On Transient Electric Currents". Kelvin, who had long been a promoter of electric lighting -- his house in Glasgow was the first in the world to by fully lit by electricity -- saw in AC the potential to bring about a dream of his, that he reiterated on a visit in 1902 (quoted in The Post-Standard, April 22, 1902, p. 1):

It has been so great, so marvelous, that I hope to live to see the day when a dream I have had may come true. I fervently hope to see the day when we shall have the transmission of electric power over 300 miles with a voltage of 40,000. When I first talked of that fifteen years ago I was laughed at. But with the wonderful transmission of power at Niagara Falls, my dream looks to be near fulfillment in the close future.

And let me tell you American people, there may be a time when the waters will flow no more over that great horseshoe, but instead there will be a beautiful growth of vegetation far more superb than any water flowing in torrents over the precipice, water that will find its way down countless turbines spreading light and power for hundreds of miles in all directions.

Edison's use of violence against animals to undermine Lord Kelvin's choice of AC was viciously ironic given Kelvin's concern for animal welfare. Kelvin, who was a vice-president of the Society for the Protection of Animals Liable to Vivisection, publicly spoke out against animal cruelty. While he did allow that some vivisections might be necessary for the advancement of science in cases where new knowledge might be gained (he later resigned as SPALV vice-president when the Society united with the more hard-line International Association for the Total Suppression of Vivisection,) he firmly held that repeated vivisections merely for the edification of students was "altogether unnecessary" (source).

In a letter to the Scotsman on March 6, 1877 (quoted in S.P. Thompson's The Life of Lord Kelvin), he wrote:

SIR—In your print of this morning I see a report of Professor Rutherford's paper on "The Secretion of Bile," read at the meeting of the Royal Society yesterday evening, when, as president, I was in the chair. As chairman I did not feel that I had the right to express my opinion that experiments involving such torture to so large a number of sentient and intelligent animals are not justifiable by either the object proposed, or the results obtained, or obtainable, by such an investigation as that described by Professor Rutherford. I feel this opinion very strongly, after many years serious consideration of the general question of the advisableness or justifiableness of experiments involving cruel treatment of the lower animals. I trust you will kindly give me this opportunity of expressing it, as my presence without protest yesterday evening might seem to imply that I approved of the experiments which were described.

As to electrocuting animals, this anecdote (recounted in The Elyria Chronicle, Aug. 1, 1906, p. 4) clearly shows that he was against it:

Lord Kelvin once performed a daring experiment before a class of students. In the course of his lecture he said that while a voltage of 3,000 or so would be fatal to a man a voltage of some 300,000 would be harmless. He was going to give a practical illustration on himself, but the students cried out, "Try it on a dog!" Lord Kelvin cast a look of reproach at his class. "Didn't I figure it out myself?" he said quietly, as he walked to the apparatus and safely turned the tremendous voltage into himself.

Kelvin's fondness for his pet parrots, Doctor Redtail and Professor Papagaio, was typical of his concern for animals. S.P. Thompson notes:

Lord Kelvin was very fond of animal pets. His parrots have several times been mentioned. He had a horror of unnecessary slaughter of creatures, particularly of birds. He once seized the arm of a man who, while on board his yacht, was shooting a sea-gull, and he protested indignantly against such wanton cruelty.

In contrast, Edison's proclivity for animal abuse extends even to his arrogant self-promotions, as can be seen in Garrett P. Serviss's Edison's Conquest of Mars, an 1898 sci-fi newspaper serial that was officially authorized by Edison's PR machine. The story, which coincidently casts Lord Kelvin as a supporting player, contains the following scene that would have disturbed Kelvin:

TESTING THE "DISINTEGRATOR"

I had the good fortune to be present when this powerful engine of destruction was submitted to its first test. We had gone upon the roof of Mr. Edison's laboratory and the inventor held the little instrument, with its attached mirror, in his hand. We looked about for some object on which to try its powers. On a bare limb of a tree not far away, for it was late fall, sat a disconsolate crow.

"Good," said Mr. Edison, "that will do." He touched a button at the side of the instrument and a soft, whirring noise was heard. "Feathers," said Mr. Edison, "have a vibration period of three hundred and eighty-six million per second."

He adjusted the index as he spoke. Then, through a sighting tube, he aimed at the bird.

"Now watch," he said.

THE CROW'S FATE

Another soft whirr in the instrument, a momentary flash of light close around it, and, behold, the crow had turned from black to white!

"Its feathers are gone," said the inventor; "they have been dissipated into their constituent atoms. Now, we will finish the crow."

Instantly there was another adjustment of the index, another outshooting of vibratory force, a rapid up and down motion of the index to include a certain range of vibrations, and the crow itself was gone—vanished in empty space! There was the bare twig on which a moment before it had stood. Behind, in the sky, was the white cloud against which its black form had been sharply outlined, but there was no more crow.

Furthermore, The Edison Papers' chronology page has this bizarre entry for April 6, 1877, suggesting the kind of violent work environment Edison fostered: "Laboratory staff's 'pet' bear gets loose and they kill it."

While I can find no record of Lord Kelvin commenting on Edison's public animal executions -- perhaps because Kelvin did not wish to appear biased, as with the incident in the Scotsman letter -- I find it hard to believe that he would have viewed Edison's elephanticidal barbarity, which contributed nothing to the advancement of knowledge, with anything less than abhorrence.

In the end, Edison's scare tactics didn't work; AC won out and elephants now know they have more to fear from monorails than from alternating current.

Lyle Zapato

St. Clair Chi Energy Amplifier

Lyle Zapato | 2007-12-27.2720 LMT

After a prolonged hiatus from hyperinventing, John Quincy St. Clair is back with what might be his most commercially viable hyperinvention yet -- the St. Clair personal Chi Energy Amplifier:

Chi Energy Amplifier, Fig. 7

This invention is an energy amplifier that controls the direction of the second co-gravitational K field by means of a slot antenna located in a resonating sphere. The hyperspace mass flow rate entering into this dimension is determined by the frequency of the antenna. This energy flow is used to increase the energy of the human energy field known as Chi.

Chi energy, St. Clair explains, can be shown to emanate from humans using a simple experiment: swinging a pendulum with the right hand over the upturned palm of the left will result in a clockwise circular motion of the pendulum with a frequency of 1-2 Hz. Doing the same over the right palm will result in a counter-clockwise rotation. This indicates that there is energy -- Chi energy, to be precise -- flowing from one hand to the other, creating a second gravitational K field that can cause a mass to rotate in circles.

The St. Clair Chi Energy Amplifier will, as the name implies, amplify this energy flow from one hand to the other. Its design is deceptively simple:

Referring to FIG. 7, the Chi energy amplifier consists of two ceramic domes (40, 41) resting one on the other such as to form a hollow internal clam-like structure. The domes are mounted on a cylindrical ceramic base (42) containing a reinforced passageway for the coaxial cable and BNC connector (43). The BNC connector plugs into the frequency generator (not shown) which has a frequency range of 0.4 Hz to 5 MHz.

Chi Energy Amplifier, Fig. 8

Referring to FIG. 8 with the upper dome removed, the coaxial cable (44) extends vertically through the base into the lower dome. The cable is soldered to a slot antenna (45). The center conductor of the cable is soldered to the left side of the slot and the ground shielding is soldered to the right side of the slot. Thus there is a voltage difference on the two sides which produces an oscillating electric field across the slot which radiates electromagnetic energy into the hollow dome.

While simple in overall design, there are numerous specific details included that, though they obviously serve some vital purpose, St. Clair shrewdly neglects to explain. For instance, he specifies that the psychoceramic elements be made of red earthenware clay from Minnesota. Why Minnesota? It might have something to do with the tetrahedron-based geometrical sub-manifold upon which all the physical constants of the universe are determined. We've already learned in St. Clair's Magnetic Monopole Spacecraft patent application that this tetrahedral geometry has remarkable influence on certain locations on a planet, such as Jupiter's Giant Red Spot or Puerto Rico, so it's possible that the clays of Minnesota have somehow been enhanced by their geometrical relation to the vertices of the earth's hyperspatial tetrahedron.

Anyway, none of these technical details are of any concern for future buyers of the St. Clair Chi Energy Amplifier; once plugged via the coaxial cable into a frequency generator (perhaps an old VCR?), the operation of the device couldn't be more simple -- just place your hands on either side of it and experience the amplified Chi flow:

Chi Energy Amplifier, Fig. 12

Referring to FIG. 12, the Chi energy flowing between the hands, shown by the arrows, is amplified by placing the hands across the dome. This energy from the right hand mixes with the hyperspace energy entering the dome from hyperspace. The combined energy is then absorbed in the left hand vortex. The effects of this amplified energy are simply amazing and have to be experienced to appreciate what it means.

To learn what the amazing effects are, or mean, we'll just have to wait until the Chi Energy Amplifier is finally available in stores, since St. Clair pointedly doesn't elaborate on the purpose of manual Chi amplification beyond the final sentence above. I also suspect that the revelations that will surely unfold once we all experience the device will finally allow us to understand how, and why, Chia Pets work.

Lyle Zapato

We Will All Be Blattocrats

Lyle Zapato | 2007-11-18.5555 LMT | Belgian Conspiracy | Mind Control | Simulacra | NWO | Nature

The Belgian Conspiracy -- which operates "Belgium" from under Euro Disneyland in France -- has teamed up with the Imagineer Corps -- which designs and builds the Simulacra androids that the NWO uses to replace trouble makers and control the media -- to influence cockroach society using robots:

Researchers using robotic roaches were able to persuade real cockroaches to do things that their instincts told them were not the best idea.

This experiment in bug peer pressure combined entomology, robotics and the study of ways that complex and even intelligent patterns can arise from simple behavior. Animal behavior research shows that swarms working together can prosper where individuals might fail, and robotics researchers have been experimenting with simple robots that, together, act a little like a swarm.

"We decided to join the two approaches," said José Halloy, a biology researcher at the Free University of Brussels and lead author of a paper describing the research in today's issue of the journal Science.

In their experiment, four small robots doused in roach sex pheromones exerted peer pressure on a group of twelve roaches, causing them to congregate in the less dark of two shelters 60% of the time. While a modest sounding result, one must remember that this is only what they are willing to reveal to the general public; the actual state-of-the-art in peer-pressure-based blattonoiac control can only be shockingly more advanced.

The lead researcher, Halloy, previously co-authored research showing cockroaches have a democratic society. At the time I wrote: "Note though that the study was conducted by 'Belgians', so assume some devious angle is involved." Well, the other shoe has fallen and we now learn the Belgians' true motive: to find an animal model of democratic society for use in experiments to subvert human democracy via Simulacra influence.

Undoubtedly, some form of this "peer pressure" mind control technique was already being practiced inside the Belgian Construct, with software agents programmed to influence the kidnapped "Belgians" into the desired "Belgian" behavioral patterns. Likewise, Simulacra are used as actors and other media personalities largely to shape public opinions and viewpoints so as to influence society. However, the work of Halloy et al. goes beyond this and suggests a post-psychotronic world where a quarter of the human population is replaced with Simulacra (or potentially Black Helicopter MOBs) for complete influence over all our day-to-day activities.

The Times article ends on this disturbingly foreshadowing note:

The current research did not test whether the robots could lead the cockroaches to something they really disliked, like broad daylight or insecticide. The results also apply only to cockroaches, Dr. Halloy said. "We are not interested in people," he said.

Yet.

Lyle Zapato

Stopping Abductions With The Thought Screen Helmet

Lyle Zapato | 2007-10-30.9010 LMT | Paraterrestrials | Mind Control

Fellow anti-mind-control protective-head-gear researcher Michael Menkin and his Thought Screen Helmet were featured on local Seattle TV show Evening Magazine tonight (well, actually it was a repeat from March, but I somehow missed it then.) It's good to see Cascadian media reporting on subjects the NWO would rather you didn't know about.

As many of you are probably aware, Menkin's Velostat-based technology was specially developed to block the telepathic mind-control used by the Reticulans (or "gray aliens", as they are known). Menkin is on a personal crusade to keep the Reticulans from abducting humans, especially children. His website, AliensAndChildren.org, documents through children's drawings the child-snatching activities of the Reticulans. His research on these drawings has convinced him that the particular Grays doing these abductions are involved in a long-term plot to colonize Earth -- first by breeding Reticulan/Human hybrids, then training the hybrids to infiltrate human society though socializing with abducted human children, and eventually reticuliforming Earth to suit their colonial needs.

Menkin's Thought Screen Helmet stops these abductions -- and by extension, the total eradication of mankind -- by disrupting the immobilizing mind-control which the Grays use to keep their abductees utterly motionless during transportation to their saucers, allowing the wearer to grab his bed to keep from being levi-beamed through the window. The smallest amount of resistance by the targeted human is usually more than enough to dissuade the scrawny and impatient Reticulans to give up and move onto someone else.

Reticulan abduction, from my AFDB book.
Reticulan abduction stopped using anti-mind-control head-gear.

As I mentioned in my book, the Reticulans have developed an advanced bioaugmentation technology that uses a subcutaneous aluminum matrix to give them control over local psychotronic fields. This is the source of both their telepathy and gray hue. Of course, AFDBs will also work to stop abduction-associated psychotronic mind-control; however, Velostat-based technologies such as Menkin's offer the benefit of being psychotronically permeable enough to still allow you to telepathically hurl profanity-laced insults at your would-be abductors without fear of being cited for disorderly conduct by your nosy cop neighbors. Take that, you BASTARDS!

Lyle Zapato

Macroscopic Black Helicopters Watch Protesters

Lyle Zapato | 2007-10-10.1830 LMT | Black Helicopters | NWO | General Paranoia

The Washington Post reports on macroscopic Black Helicopter sightings at anti-government protests:

Vanessa Alarcon saw them while working at an antiwar rally in Lafayette Square last month.

"I heard someone say, 'Oh my god, look at those,' " the college senior from New York recalled. "I look up and I'm like, 'What the hell is that?' They looked kind of like dragonflies or little helicopters. But I mean, those are not insects."

Of course, the government denies that they have unleashed their nanobiotechnological menace on innocent protesters -- in fact, the FBI flat out said "We don't have anything like that" (which is technically true, the UN, not the FBI, is in charge of Black Helicopter breeding, but that doesn't stop the FBI or other NWO subagencies from contracting their services.)

As I reported previously, the NWO has been slowly acclimatizing the populace to accept the eventual panopticonic reign of swarms of black helicopters monitoring our every move. By flying a few of their larger, more primitive breeds over the heads of protesters who they know would report the sightings on COINTELPRO honeypot sites like DailyKos or Wired, the NWO is both further desensitizing people to accept nanobiotechnological agents among us and marginalizing those who complain about them as cranks.

The WaPo article closes with this message of passive acceptance for orthonoids from Ronald Fearing, the memetically named roboticist (and possible Simulacrum robot) of the University of California at Berkeley:

"I don't want people to get paranoid, but what can I say?" Fearing said. "Cellphone cameras are already everywhere. It's not that much different."

You already accept cellphone cameras, why not accept artificial lifeforms controlled by shadowy government agencies spying on you? But, whatever you do, don't get paranoid!

Lyle Zapato

The Owl Is Listening

Lyle Zapato | 2007-08-31.2850 LMT | Bohemian Grove Cabal

Documents recently released under FOIA have brought to light a massive surveillance network spying on communications in North America:

The FBI has quietly built a sophisticated, point-and-click surveillance system that performs instant wiretaps on almost any communications device. ... The surveillance system, called DCSNet, for Digital Collection System Network, connects FBI wiretapping rooms to switches controlled by traditional land-line operators, internet-telephony providers and cellular companies. It is far more intricately woven into the nation's telecom infrastructure than observers suspected.

DCSNet is run by an FBI division called Telecommunications Intercept and Collection Technology Unit (TICTU), a black-ops group that, before the release of these documents, was little known outside of the Intelligence Community. (The only Internet reference to them by the US government is a PDF document from Senator Tom Coburn that shows they held a regional training conference in San Diego in 2006.)

Since this story broke, protoparanoids and increasingly disillusioned orthonoids all over the 'Net have been fretting over the panopticonic truth that paranoids have long known. However, they are missing the truly chilling aspect of this new information. Here is the TICTU logo, taken from the crudely scanned documents:

TICTU owl logo

Besides baring a passing resemblance to the UN logo, TICTU's owl motif is important since the owl is the totemic symbol of the Bohemian Grove Cabal, the North American wing of the NWO that operates out of a cultic compound deep in the woods of Sonoma County in occupied Southern Cascadia.

For comparison, here is the Cabalists' logo as it appears on the paper napkins they hand out at their revels:

Cabalist logo

And here is a photo, taken secretly at great risk, of the Cabal's "Cremation of Care" ritual, where hooded figures -- including former and sitting US presidents, leaders of industry, and other high-ranking officials -- burn a human effigy (one hopes!) under the watchful gaze of a giant concrete owl idol (voiced by Walter Cronkite!):

'Cremation of Care' ritual

And of course, the Cabal's kids' mascot, Woodsy Owl (notice the cryptic "NWO" on his belt buckle):

Woodsy Owl

The implications are clear: TICTU is a Cabalist unit within the FBI set up to listen in on all our private communications, the most salacious of which are then no doubt played through the speakers of the Bohemian Grove's concrete owl idol for the perverse amusement of NWO acolytes as they party and scheme in Bacchanalian excess.

(Note: The "enhanced" blue and white version of the TICTU owl with "DCS 3000" under it that Wired created and others are repeating is a poor likeness lacking in detail. The FOIA documents contain screenshots of a TICTU website that has a version presumably better than the scan above, but the site's not accessible to outsiders. If someone can find an original version at higher quality, please let me know.)

Lyle Zapato

Ben Franklin's New Sexcentequinquagemille-Focals

Lyle Zapato | 2007-08-26.4550 LMT | General Paranoia | NWO

Late in 2008, the US Bureau of Engraving and Printing will issue a revamped $100 bill with a disturbing new feature -- each bill will have embedded in it 650,000 optical lenses.

Ostensibly these lenses are a difficult-to-reproduce security feature designed to befuddle counterfeiters while creating a curious optical illusion:

The lenses magnify the micro-printing in a truly remarkable way.

Move the bill side to side and the image appears to move up and down. Move the bill up and down and the image appears to move from side to side.

To many this may seem an innocent, and even entertaining, new feature -- not unlike the lenticular "Winkin' Lincoln" that I have on good authority will be included on the new $5 bills that will be revealed Sept. 20 -- but paranoids will recognize it for what it really is: a compound eye!

Interleaved among the visible sub-lens-array microprint will undoubtedly be imaging circuitry printed using photosensitive dyes and ferrous inks. The lenses will focus light onto these microimagers and the collected data will be burst-transmitted to the NWO every time a bill passes by one of the RFID sensors now ubiquitous throughout our society. Even though the individual lenses won't be able to resolve detail, advanced interferometric techniques can be applied to the 650,000 data points to generate images sharp enough to spy on the activities of the bill's carrier. Paranoids beware... the bills have eyes!

One might think that this spy bill technology would first be used on $1 bills, since they're more common and already feature the all-seeing eye of the NWO on the back. But $100 bills are the more perversely logical choice for the NWO since they have Benjamin Franklin on them.

Franklin, as paranoid historians and those who read my book are aware, was an instrumental, if unwitting, tool in the creation of the New World Order. Thanks to his involvement in numerous secret societies, including the Freemasons and the Meleagris League (which was a total party secret society, but still...), and his research into mind-control technology, such as his glass armonica (a psychoacoustic device favored by rogue hypnotist Franz Mesmer), Franklin fell in with a bad crowd of cryptocrats and was used to smuggle deeply engineered memetic structures into the documents that would shape the global society of today -- structures whose subtle and unobvious unfoldings have made the machinations of the NWO possible.

And now they're using him to smuggle cameras into our pants pockets. Will poor Ben's indignities never cease?

Lyle Zapato

"Space Sonja and Monorails"

Lyle Zapato | 2007-08-15.6177 LMT | Monorail Danger | Politics | Letters
Goodspaceguy Nelson

Seattleite Goodspaceguy Nelson is a politician with a very forward-looking agenda: he wants humanity to colonize orbital space. Besides being his passion, orbital colonization was the major platform plank in his unsuccessful 2006 bid for US Senate.

Now that Goodspaceguy is running for King County Council, he has apparently had to put aside that big dream for the time being (there's only so much a Councilman can do in the arena of space colonization, after all,) and is instead focusing on removing restrictions on building height so the people of King County can live in "beautiful, high density communities filled with sky homes" -- slyly encouraging citizens to take baby steps into orbital space.

Intrigued by his bold vision of an orbital future, I wondered what he thought of that other ostensibly futuristic vision that has gripped the region since 1910: the monorail. While monorail fever has become somewhat dormant as of late, there's always the threat that it may flare up again (figuratively and literally) and as a Councilman he may have to address the monorail issue.

I emailed him and the other two contenders for the District No. 8 race to see what are their official positions on monorails. John Potter (R) and Dow Constantine (whom Nelson is running against in the Democratic primary) never bothered to respond, not even with a form letter.

However, Goodspaceguy not only responded, he responded with a fragment-of-fiction, titled "Life in the Colony: Space Sonja and Monorails". Set in the Boeing Blue District of the orbiting space colony at the dawn of orbital colonization, it comprises a Socratic dialog between himself, as a newly elected colony councilor, and Sonja, a "state approved, professional tease" who does performances imitating the spirit of Cher:

To prove that she had been reading, Sonja asked, "When our Boeing orbiting space colony becomes really, really large, do you think that our descendants ... of both we, the current space colonists, and of the new colonists still to be sent up by Boeing and Microsoft and the other space companies of King County ... I mean, do you think they will build space monorails or will they continue to float and glide themselves and their equipment through the zero gravity of space, as we do now?"

Goodspaceguy's position is that monorails are not cost-effective: "To be profitable, monorails require a huge number of people who use them regularly and around the clock ... The government transit systems turn out to be real money losers. The tax payers end up paying for the loss." Instead, as I mentioned above, he proposes high density communities and "24 hour, never-stop, go-go cities" that would get rid of rush hours. As to monorails in the orbital colonies (which I asked him about) he downplays them (and presumably other forms of transit) and suggests that colonists should get exercise by walking in "gravity corridors" to compensate for all their time floating weightlessly.

At the end he includes a poem which sums up his position on monorails nicely:

Monorails, Like Sonja, Can Be Fun!

by Goodspaceguy

Bodaciously beautiful call girls
Are expensively fun like monorails,
But Sonja finds that many would-be riders
Are without sufficient money pails!

The would-be-riders ask, "Oh, who will
Pay for our fun and frenzied riding times?"
Look to the sleeping tax payers. Their pockets
Are filled with dollars and dimes."

Some taxpayers shout, "Please, please stop.
Our dollars and dimes will not be enough!
Let us avoid frenzied transit monorails,
Paying for transit trips will be too tough."

Let us build more homes up in our sky,
And continue to walk under our Sun.
We want sky homes near our work, but we agree
That monorails, like Sonja, would be fun!

Bodaciously beautiful call girls
Are expensively fun like monorails,
But Sonja finds that many would-be riders
Are without sufficient money pails!

(While he may get flack from some for the subject matter, the correspondence of monorails to prostitutes is not undocumented.)

Given his sensible position on monorails (and the rude non-response of his opponents,) we here at ZPi are proud to endorse Goodspaceguy Nelson for King County Council to the people of District 8. I look forward to the day when the mile-high and monorail-free condos of Cascadia are serenaded from orbit with Cher's "Believe."

UPDATE (2006-08-26): Sad to report that Goodspaceguy Nelson lost the Democratic primary to water-taxi proponent Dow Constantine, 8.89% to 90.84%. Just more proof of the inordinate sway that the powerful Water Taxi Lobby holds over the primaries. Remember King Countyites, you can still write-in Goodspaceguy in the general election.

Lyle Zapato

An iMac For Paranoids?

Lyle Zapato | 2007-08-07.9660 LMT | Aluminum | Mind Control | Crass Commercialism
New aluminum iMac

Apple has just introduced their next iteration of the iMac line featuring a styling change sure to grab the attention of paranoids: the body and keyboard are encased in aluminum -- an iMac with it's own AFDB!

Al13

This isn't some trivial design quirk; they go out of their way to emphasize the new aluminum case in their PR campaign, and even include an Al13 Periodic Table square on their design page. (Of course they don't mention the psychotronic properties of aluminum -- no mainstream business would. They merely claim that it makes the iMac "friendlier to the environment" since aluminum is a recycled material.)

So, should aspiring paranoids rush out and get this new iMac? In a word: No.

While having an aluminum computer to match one's aluminum beanie might seem tastefully fashionable to the sort of people who want their computer case to match the UI of their music downloading program, there are, from an anti-psychotronic engineering perspective, serious flaws (or rather devious features) with this design that any true paranoid would notice.

If one were to run active anti-psychotronic software (AAPS) -- for instance, my own MindGuard -- on this Aluminum Enclosed iMac (AEiM), the software would be rendered functionless. Because there's a shielding layer of psychotronic-energy-deflecting aluminum isolating the circuitry running AAPS from the outside world, the software won't be able to detect/analyze mind-control signals or emit jamming/scrambling counter-signals.

Worse still, a poorly programmed AAPS may experience a feedback loop while detecting and responding to its own emitted counter-signals deflected back at itself, which can cause a build-up of psychotronic harmonic resonance in the circuitry leading to a violent discharge. Just try explaining to an AppleCare representative how your new iMac exploded while you were trying to evade the Forces of Mind Control -- you'll end up abducted, brain-formatted, and reprogrammed as an "Apple Genius" drone at one of their indoctrination cubes.

(This isn't the first aluminum-encased computer that Apple has offered. However, unlike the new iMac's continuous-surface aluminum, earlier aluminum-encased tower models were perforated with holes permeable to psychotronic signals -- most likely done for the benefit of Apple's own mind-control programs. I feel that it is no coincidence that just recently I received word that MindGuard was successfully compiled and run on a Mac. Clearly, Apple is locking down their systems to keep out unauthorized AAPS usage.)

Users unaware that their AAPS is being blocked might forego their beanies, not only leaving them open to general mind-control danger, but also to a new, unique danger. Which brings us to the shocking TRUTH about the new iMacs: They are in fact psychotronic deflection mirrors designed to aim signals from mind-control satellites directly at the heads of Mac users!

Diagram of iMac deflective threat
An Apple authorized mind-control satellite (A) targets its psychotron at the glare reflected off of the glass superstrate of the new iMac (i), allowing it to bounce its signals off of the aluminum substrate right into the frontal lobes (L) of a Mac user. Meanwhile, competing mind-control agents (B) have their signals deflected away (?), thus keeping the Mac user within the singular control of Cupertino.

Although I'm sure these revelations are disillusioning to orthonoid Mac users, it really is standard MO for Apple, and in particular Steve Jobs, the man who invented the Reality Distortion Field (a psychotron platform favored by deranged artists, megalomaniacal hipsters, and the smuggest, most turtle-necked members of the New World Order), experimented with trance-inducing psyoptic cases like the "flower power" iMac, and is occasionally controlling the mind of US President Bush (and many others) through the iPod.