ZPi Logo "Serving the Paranoid
since 1997"
Lyle Zapato

Anarchists March On Tacoma!

Lyle Zapato | 2007-11-11.3940 LMT | Anarchy | Cascadia | General Paranoia

The streets of Tacoma erupted in anarchy Friday as 50 masked anarchists meandered around downtown in a leaderless mass with puppets and drums to protest a privately run "concentration camp" on the Tacoma Tideflats. Not that anyone was leading them to protest that, mind you -- they're anarchists:

[T]he group reached Wells Fargo Plaza at 1201 Pacific Ave. during the first march through downtown. The protesters chanted outside the bank's offices before police, who said they were enforcing a request from the business, asked them to leave. An officer talked to [Tom] McCarthy about moving the march on.

A protester wearing a black mask ran up to the two and screamed, "Whatever he tells you, he doesn't stand for us. We're anarchists -- we have no leader!"

"I didn't say you had a leader, man," McCarthy replied.

"Good!" the protester shouted before walking away.

Fortunately for the innocent Tacomans, the rabble of anarchists were held at bay by an impenetrable wall of police bicycle tires. (More Tacoma anarchy photos here.)

Archist rivals from the Anti-Cascadian organization March for America! Washington fielded their own conterprotest composed solely of March for America! Washington founder yelling at people with a bullhorn while waving an American flag. They had sent out a mass email issuing a "call to all American patriots who are able, to stand in solidarity against the communist/socialist/anarchist pawns who call for an end to the nation state, who call for an end to America," but everyone else was busy supporting the nation state elsewhere.

No Starbucks were harmed during the protests.

[REDACTION 2016-10-07: I have removed the name of the March for America! Washington founder as they have apparently changed their beliefs.]

Lyle Zapato

Stopping Abductions With The Thought Screen Helmet

Lyle Zapato | 2007-10-30.9010 LMT | Paraterrestrials | Mind Control | Technology

Fellow anti-mind-control protective-head-gear researcher Michael Menkin and his Thought Screen Helmet were featured on local Seattle TV show Evening Magazine tonight (well, actually it was a repeat from March, but I somehow missed it then.) It's good to see Cascadian media reporting on subjects the NWO would rather you didn't know about.

As many of you are probably aware, Menkin's Velostat-based technology was specially developed to block the telepathic mind-control used by the Reticulans (or "gray aliens", as they are known). Menkin is on a personal crusade to keep the Reticulans from abducting humans, especially children. His website, AliensAndChildren.org, documents through children's drawings the child-snatching activities of the Reticulans. His research on these drawings has convinced him that the particular Grays doing these abductions are involved in a long-term plot to colonize Earth -- first by breeding Reticulan/Human hybrids, then training the hybrids to infiltrate human society though socializing with abducted human children, and eventually reticuliforming Earth to suit their colonial needs.

Menkin's Thought Screen Helmet stops these abductions -- and by extension, the total eradication of mankind -- by disrupting the immobilizing mind-control which the Grays use to keep their abductees utterly motionless during transportation to their saucers, allowing the wearer to grab his bed to keep from being levi-beamed through the window. The smallest amount of resistance by the targeted human is usually more than enough to dissuade the scrawny and impatient Reticulans to give up and move onto someone else.

Reticulan abduction, from my AFDB book.
Reticulan abduction stopped using anti-mind-control head-gear.

As I mentioned in my book, the Reticulans have developed an advanced bioaugmentation technology that uses a subcutaneous aluminum matrix to give them control over local psychotronic fields. This is the source of both their telepathy and gray hue. Of course, AFDBs will also work to stop abduction-associated psychotronic mind-control; however, Velostat-based technologies such as Menkin's offer the benefit of being psychotronically permeable enough to still allow you to telepathically hurl profanity-laced insults at your would-be abductors without fear of being cited for disorderly conduct by your nosy cop neighbors. Take that, you BASTARDS!

Lyle Zapato

Tree Octopus Comic

Lyle Zapato | 2007-10-22.6050 LMT | Cephalopods | Art | Random Found Thing
Tree octopus comic, first panel

Above is the first panel of a one-page comic titled "Strange Tales of the Pacific Northwest. Episode 34: 20,000 Legs Under the Trees", drawn by Lukas Ketner and written by Ryan Brown. The rest of the comic is an exciting, action-packed tale of peaceful tree octopuses forced to roll up their tentacles to defend themselves from a hungry cougar.

It was published inside the cover of an Oregonian magazine or some sort of periodical. I'm still trying to track down the details. The email address I have for Ketner returned a "no such user" error, so if you know him or Brown, please let them know I'm looking for them. In the meantime, if someone knows more about exactly where and when this was published (or would like to get me a physical copy), please email me. I'll update this post if I learn more.

Update 2007-10-30: The publication is The Bear Deluxe Magazine, issue #25, published by Orlo, a "nonprofit organization using the creative arts to explore environmental issues" based in Oregon.

Lyle Zapato

Macroscopic Black Helicopters Watch Protesters

Lyle Zapato | 2007-10-10.1830 LMT | Black Helicopters | Technology | NWO | General Paranoia

The Washington Post reports on macroscopic Black Helicopter sightings at anti-government protests:

Vanessa Alarcon saw them while working at an antiwar rally in Lafayette Square last month.

"I heard someone say, 'Oh my god, look at those,' " the college senior from New York recalled. "I look up and I'm like, 'What the hell is that?' They looked kind of like dragonflies or little helicopters. But I mean, those are not insects."

Of course, the government denies that they have unleashed their nanobiotechnological menace on innocent protesters -- in fact, the FBI flat out said "We don't have anything like that" (which is technically true, the UN, not the FBI, is in charge of Black Helicopter breeding, but that doesn't stop the FBI or other NWO subagencies from contracting their services.)

As I reported previously, the NWO has been slowly acclimatizing the populace to accept the eventual panopticonic reign of swarms of black helicopters monitoring our every move. By flying a few of their larger, more primitive breeds over the heads of protesters who they know would report the sightings on COINTELPRO honeypot sites like DailyKos or Wired, the NWO is both further desensitizing people to accept nanobiotechnological agents among us and marginalizing those who complain about them as cranks.

The WaPo article closes with this message of passive acceptance for orthonoids from Ronald Fearing, the memetically named roboticist (and possible Simulacrum robot) of the University of California at Berkeley:

"I don't want people to get paranoid, but what can I say?" Fearing said. "Cellphone cameras are already everywhere. It's not that much different."

You already accept cellphone cameras, why not accept artificial lifeforms controlled by shadowy government agencies spying on you? But, whatever you do, don't get paranoid!

Lyle Zapato

Jiu-Jitsu Move #4

Lyle Zapato | 2007-10-09.2710 LMT | Defensive Techniques | Random Found Thing | Retro

LA GARROTTE Á LE JUPONAISE.

If a man be sitting in a chair, you can approach him on the right side or slightly behind, reach over with your left hand hooked under his chin, or seize his forelock, pull his head backward forcibly, and reach around his neck with your right hand and grasp his collar under his left ear (see ill.1). Now he is sure to put up his left, to get your right away from his throat. Catch it with your left, twisting it around to the left and backward (see ill. 2), and as you take your fall with B in the same direction, kick the falling chair away with your right foot.

No. 1--'Oh--'

No. 2--'This is so--'

No. 3--'Sudden!'

CHAIR ARREST

Here is another way to arrest a man sitting in a chair, without throwing him.

Chair Arrest.

From Jiu-jitsu: A Comprehensive and Copiously Illustrated Treatise (1904), p. 58-61, by Harry Hall Skinner.

Lyle Zapato

Mr. Beale And The Poulpe

Lyle Zapato | 2007-10-08.1355 LMT | Cephalopods | Defensive Techniques | Random Found Thing | Retro

Today is International Cephalopod Awareness Day. Which poses the question: Why should we be aware of cephalopods?

In years past, lack of awareness of our cephalopodan cohabitants has only led to misunderstandings, and often times violence. Take for instance this sad tale of an encounter gone horribly wrong between an Englishman and a Japanese octopus:

Mr. Beale and the Poulpe

[Octopuses'] remarkable spirit, as well as their strength, is evinced by an adventure which Mr. Beale, an Englishman, had with one of them among the rocks of the Bonin Islands, where he had gone ashore to seek for shells. As he was moving about, he was suddenly arrested by seeing at his feet a most extraordinary looking animal, crawling toward the surf, which it had only just left. It was creeping on its eight legs, which, from their soft and flexible nature, bent considerably under the weight of its body, so that it was lifted by the efforts of its tentacula only a small distance from the rocks. It appeared much alarmed at seeing him, and made every effort to escape. Mr. Beale endeavored to stop it by pressing on one of its legs with his foot; but, although he used considerable force for that purpose, its strength was so great that it several times liberated its member in spite of all the efforts he could employ on the wet and slippery rocks. He then laid hold on one of the tentacles with his hands and held it firmly, so that it appeared as if the limb would be torn asunder by the united efforts of himself and the creature. He then gave it a powerful jerk, wishing to disengage it from the rocks to which it clung so forcibly by its suckers. This effort it effectually resisted; but the moment after, the apparently enraged animal lifted its head with its large projecting eyes, and loosing its hold of the rocks, suddenly sprang upon Mr. Beale's arm, and clung to it by means of its suckers with great power, endeavoring to get its beak, which could now be seen between the roots of its arms, in a position to bite. A sensation of horror pervaded his whole frame, when he found that this hideous animal had fixed itself so firmly on his arm. Its cold, slimy grasp was extremely sickening; and he loudly called to the captain, who was at some distance, to come and release him from his disgusting assailant. The captain quickly came, and taking him down to the boat, during which time Mr. Beale was employed in keeping the beak of the octopus away from his hands, soon released him, by destroying his tormentor with the boat-knife, which he accomplished by cutting away portions at a time.

(From Illustrated Natural History of the Animal Kingdom (1859), p. 498, by Samuel Griswold Goodrich.)

Raising cephalopod awareness will help end the ignorant, speciesist attitude that lets Englishmen think it's proper to step on the arms of innocent octopuses. He deserved to be bitten and was just lucky that the octopus totally screwed up the kusa zuribiki move.

UPDATE: Also see Celebrate International Cephalopod Awareness Day at Cephalopodcast for more cephalopod-awareness-related links.

Lyle Zapato

Jiu-Jitsu Move #3

Lyle Zapato | 2007-10-08.1330 LMT | Defensive Techniques | Random Found Thing | Retro

KUSA ZURIBIKI, Shaking Hands Act.

Or as the Japanese name cannot be properly translated into an English equivalent, we might as well call it the "Glad hand."

No. 1--'So Glad  to See You.'

In order to secure a sudden advantage over an opponent, it is often best to resort to strategy and take your man wholly by surprise.

As a mode of attack, this act is one of the neatest, completest surprises known to the Gentle Art.

(1) A approaches B, holding out his right hand as if he were going to shake hands, grasps B's right hand as in ill. 1, and stepping back quickly, gives B's hand a violent pull, causing B to lose his balance and start forward, while A rushes back in the opposite direction, past B's right side, still holding B;s right hand, and stoops, grasping B's right ankle with the left hand, whirls B about and tips him over; or letting go with the right hand, sends him headlong with the left ankle, see ill. 2.

No. 2--'Must You Go So Soon?'

This is very simple and effective when you get it right.

From Jiu-jitsu: A Comprehensive and Copiously Illustrated Treatise (1904), p. 111-112, by Harry Hall Skinner.

Lyle Zapato

Sasquatch Exhibit Trip

Lyle Zapato | 2007-10-07.3300 LMT | Sasquatch Issues | Cascadia | Field Trips | Weyerhaeuser Conspiracy
Lyle Zapato

Jiu-Jitsu Move #2

Lyle Zapato | 2007-10-07.2340 LMT | Defensive Techniques | Random Found Thing | Retro

ARRESTING A POLICEMAN.

Some time it may become necessary to arrest a policeman; and in that event, all you have to do is to carry out the following instructions with celerity and precision.

A Weak Spot in 'Copper'

Get on his left side, a little at the rear, (1) with your right hand catch hold of the lower end of his club which hangs in his belt at the left side, and turn it outward to the left and upward, so that it will bear across his left arm just above the elbow; while you are doing this with the right hand, catch hold of his left wrist with your left hand, holding his arm back against his club, to keep it straight, and with your right hand push the top end or handle of the club against his left side, just above, and slightly in front of the pelvis bone on No. 11, ill. A., as per illustration. This hurts terribly in two places; the middle of his arm and at the end of the club in his flank. Be careful of the latter point. It is one of the knock-outs of JIU-JITSU and apt to cause collapse.

The writer asked permission to try this experiment, just for practice, on a New York policeman, and after grasping his left wrist and turning up the club in the above manner, as if it were one motion, the officer was asked what there was for him to do in a case like that. He replied, between gasps of pain, that there was nothing he could do without breaking his arm or killing himself.

From Jiu-jitsu: A Comprehensive and Copiously Illustrated Treatise (1904), p. 63-64, by Harry Hall Skinner.

Lyle Zapato

Jiu-Jitsu Move #1

Lyle Zapato | 2007-10-06.2900 LMT | Defensive Techniques | Random Found Thing | Retro

OYA UBI SHIME or Thumb Grip.

No. 4--Oh My!

Suppose you catch B's right thumb round the waist, just below the first joint, holding it tightly well down in the crotch between your right thumb and first finger, pull and press the ends of your fingers down into the base of his thumb at the back of the hand, he will probably drop to his knees, to save his thumb. See illustration.

Remember that in a rough-and-tumble fight or scuffle, when you can get one of these grips on your man, he is helpless. Always "look pleasant" and keep cool. This is often half the battle.

From Jiu-jitsu: A Comprehensive and Copiously Illustrated Treatise (1904), p. 13, by Harry Hall Skinner.