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Lyle Zapato

Get Fuzzynoid

Lyle Zapato | 2006-06-24.7610 LMT | Entertainment

Get Fuzzy, 2006-06-20

Darby Conley is at it again.

First he slipped the truth about Belgium (IT DOESN'T EXIST) into his Get Fuzzy comic, using the subversive technique of having his dim-witted character Satchel spurt it out, thereby providing plausible deniability should the NWO-aligned United Feature Syndicate bring him before their Star Chamber for questioning.

Next he raised awareness of AFDBs through his cat character Bucky, again deflecting the Syndicate's ire by showing an obviously flawed beanie design and having Bucky claim the hat was not for mind-control protection, but auguring.

This week's strips are devoted to Bucky's claim that England doesn't exist. This is, of course, not true. However, since Bucky usually has things partly right, but with the facts mixed up, it must be true that there exists a country that doesn't really exist -- Bucky has simply gotten the country wrong.

Conley has established that Satchel speaks the truth, even if unwittingly, while Bucky is an unreliable source of details who often expounds on topics where he has confused the subjects within the topic or with those of some other unrelated topic. They play the classical archetypal roles of the Wise-Fool and the Loud-Mouthed-Jerk, respectively.

I believe that Conley, having first planted the idea that Belgium is not altogether real in the heads of his orthonoidic readers, is now validating that idea through Bucky's confused version of reality (after waiting a year so the Syndicate won't notice).

Not since The Family Circus exposed the existence of transdimensional Shadow People (represented by Bil Keane as the "Not Me") has a comic strip done so much to further the cause of paranoia.

Lyle Zapato

Belgian Makes Tiny Helicopter Friend For Pet Hamster

Lyle Zapato | 2005-12-14.9900 LMT | Black Helicopters | NWO | Technology

Meet Pixelito, the microcopter made in Belgium! (Do I even need to expand on this one? Oh, why not...)

Not to be outdone by the Monorailists, the Belgian Conspiracy -- expert in the manufacture of false reality -- is colluding with its NWO cohorts to desensitize the public to tiny helicopters by making them seem like innocent, even desirable, play things. They claim you will control them, but we know they'll end up controlling you.

Note the numerous photos and country-western video of the microcopter with an adorable, cuddly rodent. This crude but effective form of mind control involves a deep psychoevolutionary construct known as "cuteness." By juxtaposing the "cute" hamster with the coldly carbon-black Pixelito, there occurs a psychological transference of the hamsterian paedomorphic traits to the microcopter, conditioning an elicitation of a maternal response towards Black Helicopters. (Users of MindGuard will recognize this technique from the numerous deciphered signals they receive involving "cute kittens.") The site explicitly links hamsterness with Black-Helicopterness, even going so far as to suggest that hamsters are a pastiche of the Black Helicopter archetype:

The idea of the hamster was inspired by the shape of the 'canopy'. Somehow they both seem to 'sit' the same way!

Thus, instead of fearing a Black Helicopter, as one should, one is made to want to invite it into one's living room and let it use one's naked feet as a landing pad. Devious.

Real microscopic Black Helicopters are of course much more technologically advanced and don't require Belgians to build them, as they can self-replicate. However, revealing the TRUTH about Black Helicopters in one fell swoop would only scare the public. By slowly acclimating people using cute transference, the NWO hopes to ease the social transition into the new nanobiotechnological paradigm and promote acceptance for constant surveillance in our homes by swarms of tiny copters.

Lyle Zapato

Belgian Orientation Film In Celebration

Lyle Zapato | 2005-12-06.4320 LMT | Letters | Entertainment

A paranoid operative deep under cover inside the Disney-controlled "town" of Celebration, Florida (name withheld to protect them from the wrath of Town Hall) forwards this not-really-shocking-at-all notice that was handed out to Cast Citizens:

On Wednesday, Dec. 7, a film crew from Belgium will be filming a show titled "How to Start Your Own Country" throughout the day in Celebration. This project has been authorized by Town Hall, and a representative from Town Hall will be present at all times.

My guess is they are creating a new orientation film for those working behind the scenes at the Belgian Conspiracy -- a replacement for their older one:

Film frame
Belgian Conspiracy orientation film frame, smuggled out of Disney-controlled ABC.
Lyle Zapato

Brussels Sprout Soda

Lyle Zapato | 2005-11-10.1900 LMT | Food | Mind Control
Brussels Sprout Soda bottle

Betrayal!

Popular Cascadian soda manufacturer, Jones Soda Co., last year issued special holiday packs of sodas flavored after traditional holiday foods, such as Turkey & Gravy Soda. You no doubt saw this in the news. This year they are doing it again, only with more and different flavors. But I was shocked to see what was included in their 2005 National Holiday Pack...

Brussels Sprout Soda!

That's right: the Belgian Conspiracy has gotten to Jones! Besides the subtle conditioning that traditional holidays aren't complete without Belgium, thus furthering their insinuation into all levels of society, this soda is very likely chemically designed to help with the Belgification process, much like the Conspiracy has done with beer -- only now the drinks are aimed at the whole family.

But why families? Could it be that they have finally found a way to overcome the maddening effects of the Brussels Beast brain-interface that has left so many of their "citizens" gibbering vegetables (the origin of the term "Brussels sprouts"), requiring them to continuously replenish their citizen supply through kidnappings and brainwashings, and are now trying to ensnare whole families in order to establish breeding colonies to create second-generation "Belgians" who haven't any pre-Belgification memories to interfere with their programming? Undoubtedly, yes.

According to the Nutrition Facts (which were created by the pyramid-scheming FDA, so can't really be trusted), it's mostly carbonated water and salt (1 bottle = 12% of your RDA of sodium). However, it's safe to say that other unlisted psychoactive ingredients were added to cause drinkers to become pliant to the Belgian Conspiracy's will. One suspicious listed ingredient in the calorie-free drink is sucralose (aka Splenda), which is manufactured synthetically in NWO-controlled plants in Singapore and Alabama.

The Belgian agents who got to Jones have been plotting this since at least last year. The previous holiday sodas were in calculatedly short supply which, combined with lots of media hype, caused a large unmet demand. This year the packs, now with the Brussels Sprout Soda added, are widely available across North America at Target stores, making it likely that many will be sold to unsuspecting families who were primed for purchase last year. A devious ploy!

The public must be warned! Get to your local Target store and make sure all shoppers know: the green soda will TURN PEOPLE BELGIAN!

Lyle Zapato

GPM #16: The Smurfs

Lyle Zapato | 2005-10-10.8210 LMT | Government Propaganda Mascots | NWO

The Belgian Federal Government calls Smurfs "typically Belgian". Do I even need to say more?

I have already lightly covered their role as propaganda mascots for the Belgian Conspiracy on the "Truth about Belgium" page (and I believe a guest blogger mentioned them too). Their Saturday morning antics were designed to promote certain socio-political themes that stem from their Communist leanings, including the loyal following of charismatic leadership (Wikipedia has an article on Smurf Communism, although the Wikikommissars have targeted it for deletion -- read it while you can!)

The centralized authority inherent in the Communist system is useful for the Belgium Conspiracy, who seek to make themselves the virtual seat of the NWO Government, so it's no wonder that they would want to promote it among children, even if in an abstracted form.

Now Smurfy propaganda has taken a disturbing new turn, as reported by Daily Telegraph:

The people of Belgium have been left reeling by the first adult-only episode of the Smurfs, in which the blue-skinned cartoon characters' village is annihilated by warplanes.

...

Belgian television viewers were given a preview of the 25-second film earlier this week, when it was shown on the main evening news. The reactions ranged from approval to shock and, in the case of small children who saw the episode by accident, wailing terror.

...

The short film pulls no punches. It opens with the Smurfs dancing, hand-in-hand, around a campfire and singing the Smurf song. Bluebirds flutter past and rabbits gambol around their familiar village of mushroom-shaped houses until, without warning, bombs begin to rain from the sky.

Tiny Smurfs scatter and run in vain from the whistling bombs, before being felled by blast waves and fiery explosions. The final scene shows a scorched and tattered Baby Smurf sobbing inconsolably, surrounded by prone Smurfs.

The cartoon was produced by the Belgian branch of UNICEF, a United Nations organization. Of course, the people mentioned in the article -- written by David Rennie, who claims to be "in" Brussels -- weren't actually watching televisions but rather were having the shocking images transmitted directly into their brains while they lie deluded in their Belgian Citizen Pods under Euro-Disneyland.

It's no coincidence that this comes near Halloween, as the NWO has been long running a campaign to get kids to "Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF" (i.e. collect psychotronic-circuitry-laden coins from citizens' home in order to retrieve the brainwave patterns recorded on them for subversive thought analysis). The timing makes the cartoon's message obvious: Kids, gather pennies for us or we'll bomb your favorite cartoon characters back to the stone age. By first indoctrinating kids into the virtual commune of Smurf Village, the Belgian Conspiracy can now use the threat of violently taking the commune away to get them to do the dirty work of its NWO colleagues.

Lyle Zapato

The Atomium Resurfaces

Lyle Zapato | 2005-09-16.7320 LMT | Aluminum

In the guestbook, Cascadia Patriot points to a news story today about the Belgians unveiling the Atomium's restored exterior. They're claiming that its new stainless steel coverings will stand up to Belgium's supposedly wet and windy weather better than the old aluminum ones. This is a lie for two reasons:

Atomium
Mirror balls and tubes -- sure, that doesn't look like it exists only in a computer. Where's the checkerboard ground receding into infinity?

1) The Atomium doesn't exist.

I mean, just look at it! Who would build such a ridiculous thing? It is a fictitious building in a fictitious country. As such, fictitious weather isn't going to affect it, except fictitiously. They only pretend to have such absurd buildings to make Belgium seem like a technological Utopia (that and it's supposedly the HQ of Captain Euro.)

2) Aluminum can stand up to the elements just fine.

In reality, this whole "renovation" story is a ruse to spread FUD about Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanies. They want you to associate aluminum with something to be removed and disposed of, hoping you will "renovate" your currently safely beanied head, thus leaving yourself exposed to the Conspiracy's psychotronic manipulation.

Furthermore, as reported here previously, the Belgians were selling the supposedly stripped off aluminum sheet to the public, hoping that paranoids would be foolish enough to buy it for use in shielding their homes so they can walk around beanieless, not realizing that the aluminum was newly manufactured with embedded psychotronic circuitry that would turn any structure shielded with it into a Belgification device.

Thanks, "Belgium", but I'll stick with my AFDB and the more probable architecture of Cascadia...

The Belgian

The Smurfs, They Smurf!

The Belgian | 2005-07-21.1090 LMT | Entertainment

We call them by the proper name of les Schtroumpfs or de Smurfen but you will call them the Smurfs! The Belgian cartoonist Peyo, he created the Smurfs in 1958 based on the woodland creatures what live in the forests of Belgium. You see, the Smurfs, and to the lesser extent the Snorks (also created by a Belgian), show that our Belgian wildlife, even she is superior to yours!

Now they are making the film of the Smurfs (you English, read here) using the computer-generated imagery! Being that I am a privileged Belgische burger, I have already seen the, how you say, renderings. They look as real as the Smurfs I have seen in the forests of Wallonie (which, as you know, exists -- and is not in the computer, as M. Zapato says!)

When the Smurfs appear in the cinema, you and your children will learn that the Smurf-speak is double-plus smurf. Your English, she is pointless! Substitute the inferior English words with simple "smurf". Simple language for your simple English lives. When you are ready to think grand thoughts like we Belgians, you learn the Vlaams or the Français, or maybe even the Deutsch -- your choice! If you want, you come to Belgium and we teach you, yes?

The Belgian

The Belgian Nationale Feestdag -- She Returns!

The Belgian | 2005-07-20.6250 LMT | Announcement

Today she is the Belgian Nationale Feestdag! We celebrate 175 years of existing!

We celebrate also the first-ever Tintin Festival of Brussels! (The inferior English description, she is here.)

Tintin Euro

Tintin, he is the greatest Belgium nationale hero! He is the greatest hero of the world! Who can there be better than Tintin? He is a young reporter who went on many adventures with his faithful dog Milou, or as you say Snowy. He demolished the Soviets using reporting and in 1954 he became the first person to visit the Moon... The Moon, she is Belgian now!

Tintin is the perfect hero everyone wishes to become, and who all the Belgians are! He is the incorporation of Belgian superiority and the exciting life that we Belgians have. You will envy him, yes?

There is time left for you to visit Brussels and experience the Tintin Festival. There will be soapbox races and other diversions. Your life will be meaningless if you do not come! Do not listen to the lies of M. Zapato; our country exists and you will not be kidnapped! Bring your whole family, or do not tell them you come... either would be good!

Lyle Zapato

The Brussels Beast... It Grows

Lyle Zapato | 2005-06-24.1200 LMT | NWO | General Paranoia

As has been widely reported, the US DOD is creating a database of students, ostensibly as a means to aid in effective recruitment. While the Pentagon has collected the data itself, processing will be subcontracted to a private database marketing firm.

Their name? BeNOW.

Do I even need to explain this one? As you should be aware, "Be" is the official brandmeme of the Belgian Conspiracy -- designed to hijack the psycholinguistic receptors for the concept of existence in the minds of English speakers -- and "NOW" is clearly an anagram of "NWO". (Also, check out the logo for BeNOW's "MVP Technology," what they call the giant computer they use to calculate all there is to know about you. Look familiar?)

Obviously this shadowy company -- whose website is short on details and long on generic marketeering buzzbabble -- is just a poorly concealed front for the Belgian Conspiracy in their scheme to transform everyone into Belgian citizens through a process of identity subversion (see my post on Belgian Identity Theft for more on this process).

They will now have access to name, gender, address, birthday, Social Security number, email address, ethnicity, telephone number, graduation dates, grade-point average, education level, military test scores, and who knows what else for all students aged 16 and older in the US. Cross-referenced with data collected by their business partner DoubleClick, that's more than enough information with which to subvert identities and turn an entire generation into Belgians.

Lyle Zapato

Made In Belgium

Lyle Zapato | 2005-06-08.3300 LMT | NWO | Paraterrestrials

Grouse! makes a sinister discovery in the drug paraphernalia aisles of Australia: "Tally Ho Exposed".

Of course, "made in Belgium" is an impossibility since a country that does not exist cannot be home to manufacturing facilities. So why is the Belgian Conspiracy trying to trick hapless Australian smokers?

Most likely this is just part of their wider campaign to promote Belgian superiority. By saying that Belgian-made rolling papers are "Australia's Finest", Australians are being told that the best they can ever hope for is to adopt all things Belgian. It also wouldn't be beneath the Conspiracy to enhance that message through psychotropical doping of the papers, much like they do with "Belgian" beer (which, incidentally, they have been promoting in Australia for years through Belgian re-education & "recruitment" centers run by the shadowy Belgian organization Interbrew).

While this is typical Belgian sneakery and not the least bit surprising, doing some more research I made a truly startling discovery. Searching for "made in Belgium" brought up this site: MadeInBelgium.be, which turns out to be an arm of MIB.be. That's right... Belgian foreign trade is really a front for the Men In Black!

Or perhaps it's the other way around. Some have theorized that MIB agents are really Simulacra androids (as evidenced by their monotone speech, synchronized movements, smooth skin, and ability to cloud people's mind as if they had built-in psychotrons). Simulacra are built by Imagineers working for Disney Corp and the Belgian Conspiracy hosts it's Belgium Simulation and Citizen Pod complex under a Disney Corp installation. Could it be that the Conspiracy are the ones manufacturing and operating these particular Simulacra out of their Eurodisneyland base? That the Men in Black really are, in a sense, made in Belgium? Maybe even the commonly used name "Men in Black" was a back-formation from the acronym "MIB" (used similarly to the "GI" acronym for soldiers) seen stamped on their Belgian-made bodies, which one of their victims mistook as a more literal description.

But then why are the Belgians interested in covering up Paraterestrial activities? Are they simply being contracted by higher factions in the NWO with ties to the Reticulans or is there something else going on? And what is the connection with the false reports of UFOs in Belgium which were perpetrated by the Conspiracy?

Clearly more research is needed. Stay tuned for further discoveries. In the mean time, don't smoke anything!