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Lyle Zapato

The Ultimate In Baby Mind-Control Protection

Lyle Zapato | 2008-10-31.8875 LMT | Mind Control

Unlike the two others mentioned here recently, this is one pod you'll actually want:


This aluminal womb on wheels is the Pramulator by John Knott of Bent Fabrication. It's made from hand-shaped aluminum panels and an antique baby stroller. Its ovoid geometry will ensure maximum psychotronic deflection, keeping baby free of the subconscious influences of nefarious agents of evil. Just make sure to opt for the model with a hatch on top to keep the orbital rays out.

Lyle Zapato

The State Of The Russian Psychotronic State

Lyle Zapato | 2008-05-20.1590 LMT | Mind Control | Technology

Dmitry Medvedev, president of your mind?
Recently installed Russian President Dmitry Medvedev, shown
here weilding a portable psychotron "pistol" (target unknown).

Rasputnik VI Psychotron pistol diagram.

The Rasputnik VI mind-control pistol: The psychotron core (A) is housed inside a containment tube (B) and is connected to the integrated engramputer and powersupply module (C) through a ring of back-scatter nubbins (D) to protect the user from self-inflicted brain-washing. The business end of the psychotron is capped with a removable psychotronic polarizing plate (E) which keeps the mind-control ray focused along a narrow path, allowing for single-brain targeting. The ruggedized design uses only passive cooling fins (F), thereby limiting moving parts. A unique feature of Russian portable psychotron technology is the perpendicular transceiver channel (G), which allows the pistol to deflectively relay inductively amplified satellite signals to targets hidden under aluminum roofs.

A formidable mind-control weapon in the hands of President Medvedev. Fortunately, Russian paranoids have developed effective countermeasures:

Natalya Polovko Natalya Polovko
Natalya Polovko models her anti-psychotronic clothing.

UPDATE 2009-02-15: Ms. Polovko's website has gone missing! Hopefully Medvedev hasn't gotten to her with the new Rasputnik VII. Until she surfaces again, you can read an article by her (in Russian, but no pictures) at the Psychotronic Terrorism site (also in Russian, and worth exploring).

Lyle Zapato

The TRUTH About Morgellons Disease

Lyle Zapato | 2008-01-21.5950 LMT | Black Helicopters | NWO | General Paranoia

Fig. 1: Morgellons fibers.

Since it was first brought to light in 2002, people suffering from Morgellons Disease -- a dermatological condition marked by subdermal crawling or biting sensations, persistent lesions, and mysterious fibers growing under or out of the skin (Fig. 1) -- have been dismissed by orthonoid doctors and agents of the NWO-aligned CDC as having "delusional parasitosis", a supposed psychiatric condition. Unable to find help from the Medical Establishment, Morgellons sufferers have turned to the Internet to exchange information about the condition, most notably on the Morgellons Research Foundation site and MorgellonsUSA.com.

Now, realizing that their dismissals and attempts to silence reports of Morgellons haven't worked, the CDC is launching a Morgellons study in California to much publicity. Those hoping the study will finally show that Morgellons isn't a delusion will, I'm afraid, be disappointed, as the conclusion was predetermined: they'll proclaim once and for all that Morgellons is "delusional parasitosis" and force sufferers to take "antipsychotic" drugs.

What the study certainly won't reveal, since the NWO would never allow it, is the TRUTH about Morgellons Disease: It is real and is caused by Microscopic Black Helicopters (MBHs).

Fig. 2: MBH in blood stream.

When MBHs are introduced into a host body they use nanobiotechnology to reproduce millions of tiny copies of themselves that flood the blood stream (Fig. 2). Their behavior afterwards varies depending on instructions they receive from their handlers or on pre-programmed responses to environmental stimuli: some will attach themselves to the nervous system to control the host or use the host as an unwitting spy, relaying sensory information to NWO operatives; others will enter the abdomen and grow until they burst forth, flying away to mature into full-sized Black Helicopters (this most often happens when cattle serve as hosts, although it is not unheard of in humans); others still will grow to a larger-than-normal-microscopic-size, travel outward to the skin or bodily orifices, and attempt to leave the body in order to become vectors for further MBH infection. These latter MBHs -- known as Extracorporeal Microscopic Black Helicopters (EMBH) when successful in their egress -- are the source of Morgellons Disease.

The nanobiotechnological reproductive process is not perfect; sometimes errors occur that produce malformed MBHs or strange by-products. Much like with cancer in biological cells, the nanobiotech constructor cells of MBHs -- particularly those at the rotorblade tips -- can lose their ability to shut off, causing them to produce fibrous streams of synthetic polymers. Interestingly, these fibers may also include organic proteins normally found in the wool of animals, which the MBH has co-opted from previous sheep or alpaca hosts as part of its synthesis of biological and technological environmental resources.

Fig. 3: MBH entangled in nanobiotech-produced fibers.

Whatever the molecular constituency of the fibers, the result of their growth is the entanglement of the MBHs' rotorblades (Fig. 3), keeping the MBHs from being able to properly exit the host. Instead, they flail about just under the skin surface -- like the larvae inside Mexican jumping beans -- producing lesions through which the growing fibers may exude. They may also occasionally fire their microguns in unsuccessful attempts to free themselves, causing the biting sensations often reported by Morgellons sufferers.

Trying to physically or chemically remove the MBHs from under the skin is strongly unadvised. Such violent attention paid toward them might trigger their anti-detection protocols, resulting in the "spontaneous combustion" of the host. Until paranoid researchers can decipher the incredibly complex control language for MBHs -- which will allow their safe deactivation via psychotronic signals -- Morgellons sufferers should wrap the infected body parts in aluminum foil (Fig. 4). This will isolate the MBHs from NWO psychotronic chatter, causing them to enter a hibernation mode where both their fiber production and creepy-crawly movements will cease.

Fig. 4: Morgellons treatment.

The so-called "antipsychotic" drugs prescribed by the Medical Establishment to treat Morgellons patients for "delusional parasitosis" actually work by resetting the reproductive systems of MBHs, curing them of their nanobiotech cancer. While these drugs will solve the dermatological symptoms, they do nothing to get rid of the MBH causal agents. In fact, they actually help to spread MBH infection in three ways: 1) They allow MBHs to freely exit the body as EMBHs. 2) They have antipruritic properties that mask the sensations of MBH infection, keeping you ignorant. 3) They suppress natural paranoia, keeping you from taking necessary precautions against Black Helicopters. Remember: Just because you're no longer paranoid doesn't mean Microscopic Black Helicopters aren't crawling around under your skin.

Finally, be aware that the presence of Morgellons symptoms almost certainly means that some non-defective MBHs managed to escape the host and are flying around in the vicinity. Keep a Black Helicopterswatter handy to destroy these before they infect others.

Lyle Zapato

An iMac For Paranoids?

Lyle Zapato | 2007-08-07.9660 LMT | Technology | Mind Control | Crass Commercialism
New aluminum iMac

Apple has just introduced their next iteration of the iMac line featuring a styling change sure to grab the attention of paranoids: the body and keyboard are encased in aluminum -- an iMac with it's own AFDB!


This isn't some trivial design quirk; they go out of their way to emphasize the new aluminum case in their PR campaign, and even include an Al13 Periodic Table square on their design page. (Of course they don't mention the psychotronic properties of aluminum -- no mainstream business would. They merely claim that it makes the iMac "friendlier to the environment" since aluminum is a recycled material.)

So, should aspiring paranoids rush out and get this new iMac? In a word: No.

While having an aluminum computer to match one's aluminum beanie might seem tastefully fashionable to the sort of people who want their computer case to match the UI of their music downloading program, there are, from an anti-psychotronic engineering perspective, serious flaws (or rather devious features) with this design that any true paranoid would notice.

If one were to run active anti-psychotronic software (AAPS) -- for instance, my own MindGuard -- on this Aluminum Enclosed iMac (AEiM), the software would be rendered functionless. Because there's a shielding layer of psychotronic-energy-deflecting aluminum isolating the circuitry running AAPS from the outside world, the software won't be able to detect/analyze mind-control signals or emit jamming/scrambling counter-signals.

Worse still, a poorly programmed AAPS may experience a feedback loop while detecting and responding to its own emitted counter-signals deflected back at itself, which can cause a build-up of psychotronic harmonic resonance in the circuitry leading to a violent discharge. Just try explaining to an AppleCare representative how your new iMac exploded while you were trying to evade the Forces of Mind Control -- you'll end up abducted, brain-formatted, and reprogrammed as an "Apple Genius" drone at one of their indoctrination cubes.

(This isn't the first aluminum-encased computer that Apple has offered. However, unlike the new iMac's continuous-surface aluminum, earlier aluminum-encased tower models were perforated with holes permeable to psychotronic signals -- most likely done for the benefit of Apple's own mind-control programs. I feel that it is no coincidence that just recently I received word that MindGuard was successfully compiled and run on a Mac. Clearly, Apple is locking down their systems to keep out unauthorized AAPS usage.)

Users unaware that their AAPS is being blocked might forego their beanies, not only leaving them open to general mind-control danger, but also to a new, unique danger. Which brings us to the shocking TRUTH about the new iMacs: They are in fact psychotronic deflection mirrors designed to aim signals from mind-control satellites directly at the heads of Mac users!

Diagram of iMac deflective threat
An Apple authorized mind-control satellite (A) targets its psychotron at the glare reflected off of the glass superstrate of the new iMac (i), allowing it to bounce its signals off of the aluminum substrate right into the frontal lobes (L) of a Mac user. Meanwhile, competing mind-control agents (B) have their signals deflected away (?), thus keeping the Mac user within the singular control of Cupertino.

Although I'm sure these revelations are disillusioning to orthonoid Mac users, it really is standard MO for Apple, and in particular Steve Jobs, the man who invented the Reality Distortion Field (a psychotron platform favored by deranged artists, megalomaniacal hipsters, and the smuggest, most turtle-necked members of the New World Order), experimented with trance-inducing psyoptic cases like the "flower power" iMac, and is occasionally controlling the mind of US President Bush (and many others) through the iPod.

Lyle Zapato

AFDB vs. Tesla Coil... In A Pool

Lyle Zapato | 2007-06-09.2720 LMT | Technology | Mind Control

Tesla Downunder is an Australian site documenting one man's spectacular experiments with Tesla coils (and rail guns, and lasers, and aluminum foil lifters, and cetera). One of his recent experiments involved zapping his AFDB with 100,000 volt sparks while floating in a pool:

AFDB zapped by Tesla coil
Don't try this at home. Unless you have a pool and Tesla coil.

His verdict: "There is no sensation at all when sparks hit me." So, there you go. Don't listen to the FUD from the Forces of Mind Control; AFDBs are perfectly lightning safe.

Lyle Zapato

A Paranoid Alternative Fuel?

Lyle Zapato | 2007-05-18.5640 LMT | Technology | Mind Control

Hydrogen is an ideal alternative fuel source with a slight problem -- how to safely transport and store it. Now researchers have come up with a simple solution using the paranoid's best friend, aluminum.

A mixture of aluminum and gallium pellets act as a catalyst when mixed with water to produce pure hydrogen gas. After burning, the only waste products are water, aluminum oxide, and gallium (all of which can be recycled). Filling up your tank would mean adding water and occasionally refreshing the aluminum pellets. (Well, more likely there would be a replaceable canister containing the Al/Ga pellets. Replacing the oxidize aluminum would be done at a recycling facility, not by the consumer.)

Normally, aluminum is impervious to corrosion in water since it rapidly forms a thin, protective shell of aluminum oxide (aka corundum, the base mineral for ruby and sapphire) that keeps the bulk of the metal unoxidized. This desirable property is what makes AFDBs safe to wear in rainy Cascadia.

Gallium disrupts the formation of this shell by diffusing into the aluminum's surface, allowing the water to fully oxidize the aluminum. This, of course, separates the hydrogen from the oxygen in water, providing the fuel. An incredibly simple and elegant solution to all our energy woes, it would seem.

One has to wonder, though, why researchers were exploring aluminum corrosion technology when they stumbled upon this fuel-producing side-effect. Could it be that mind-control technicians were developing chemical attacks against aluminum-based psychotronic deflection technology? Almost certainly yes!

By coating surfaces with a gallium powder catalyst -- distributed, perhaps, by chemtrail planes -- the Forces of Mind Control could eat away at paranoid protective defenses as rain and ambient humidity slowly, but surely, turn our beanies and anti-psychotronic bunkers into piles of aluminum rust.

And what better WMD (weapon of metal degradation) to use than gallium, a sinister doppelgänger of aluminum -- born like an evil twin as a byproduct of aluminum extraction -- whose atomic number is 31, the reverse of aluminum's 13.

While gallium also has psychotronic properties (it's in the same periodic group as aluminum, skulking just below on the table), it's of little service to the paranoid since its low melting point of ~303 K makes it useless for deflector beanies, heated bunkers, and general summertime paranoia. In fact, the most common beneficiaries of gallium's psychotronic properties are the NWO, who use it for adaptive deflective elements in the psychotron cores of mind control satellites -- I've seen the schematics!

Increased production and distribution of gallium under the guise of fuel-pellet technology might just give the Forces of Mind Control the cover they need to enact this corrosive doomsday scenario. It would be a sad irony if we were to gain energy independence only to lose our minds.

Lyle Zapato

ThreadBanger Explains The AFDB

Lyle Zapato | 2007-05-18.4520 LMT | Mind Control | Fashion

This week's Thread Head podcast from DIY fashionista network ThreadBanger tackles hats -- in particular, the Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie. Watch these AFDB build instructions especially designed for those Web 2.0 types who only accept information presented in video format:

Watch it on their site instead...

Note: their AFDB build substitutes the tape matrix from steps 6 & 7 of the canonical build instructions with a regular hat acting as both beanie stabilizer and camouflage. This is certainly acceptable, especially if you are going to camouflage the beanie anyway, but care must be taken that the beanie is securely ensquished inside the hat and that the hat fits snuggly on the head so that it is unlikely to blow off or else you run the risk of Catastrophic Beanie Failure.

Also, if you are hosting a DIY show on making AFDBs and a Paraterrestrial Agent of Mind Control is patroling in the area, do not remove your aluminum fortified hat to point out the innards to the camera! That's just reckless hostery.

Lyle Zapato

Two Bad Ideas

Lyle Zapato | 2007-01-25.2416 LMT | Entertainment | Monorail Danger

Walter emailed me two bad ideas (not his)...

Brandon Flowers of the RIAA-approved music group The Killers is promoting a bad idea in an upcoming music video:

Dual Headed AFDB

While building an AFDB using a hardhat substrate is a valid, if somewhat harder to hide, method of beanie construction, connecting two of them together with an aluminumized tube that will allow psychotronic energies to be transmitted back and forth between two wearers is strongly unadvised. Yes, it will still protect you from most mind control, but do you really want some strange little Japanese kid piping his thoughts directly into your brain, nullifying your individual brain patterns and turning you both into a two-person hive-mind obsessed with Ultraman and sexual ambiguity? Try again, Brandon.

The next bad idea is from Mass Tram America, Inc. and is called The Highway In The Sky:

Highway in the Sky

They propose taking old Boeing 7x7 fuselages stripped of wings and tail fins, attaching them below monorail tracks hung from suspension cables on towers, and powering the whole system with solar cells and wind turbines. Even by monorail standards this is just daft. What happens when it bursts into flames and the cables melt? At least with traditional above-rail monorails the pedestrians below need only fear flying debris. When this system fails, the whole train will plummet to the ground like a streamlined bomb. And with no control surfaces, there's no way for the monorail captain to steer the flaming mass away from the innocents on the roads over which they propose to build these things. Try again, Mass Tram America, Inc. (perhaps by putting the repurposed fuselages safely inside tubes).

Lyle Zapato


Lyle Zapato | 2007-01-05.8905 LMT | Announcement | Site

How in the world did I not know this (worse yet, why did I have to learn it from Katie Couric):

The traditional symbolic gift for a ten year anniversary is...


So, forget what I said about 2007 being The Anniversary. From here on it shall be known as The Alumiversary! (or The Alumiversiary for our British friends.)

Of course, True Paranoids celebrate every day as if it were an alumiversary. Shine on, you crazy corundums.

Lyle Zapato

...And Phones Too

Lyle Zapato | 2006-08-09.6930 LMT | General Paranoia

The Barry Bittwister Cabal presents a problem:

Your cell phone is tracking you, you know. By law, your phone has to tell where you are within 125 meters when you call 911, which isn't so bad on the face of it. However, the telecom systems can use your phone to track you at any time. In some cases, this can be done even when your phone is off. We're not sure how you feel about it, but we don't like being fitted with a radio collar at all times. This nonconsensual tracking is growing common in the US now, but has been around in Europe for quite a number of years. So what's a paranoid to do?

Their solution? The Invisifier, an aluminum & duct tape sheath for your cell. Its dual-action AFDB/Faraday cage construction keeps psychotronic signals from your phone in and EM tracking signals from the NGA satellites out.

(If I had just waited two centidays for the email I could have included this with the previous post and padded that out a bit...)