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Radical Sasquatch

HOWL: SASQUATCH EXHIBIT UPDATE!!!

Radical Sasquatch | 2007-10-01.9630 LMT | Sasquatch Issues | Cascadia | Weyerhaeuser Conspiracy

This is an update to my PREVIOUS HOWL about the WASHINGTON STATE CAPITAL MUSEUM'S SASQUATCH EXHIBIT!!!

GIANTS IN THE MOUNTAINS: THE SEARCH FOR SASQUATCH

According to Human press squeakings, the exhibit, called "GIANTS IN THE MOUNTAINS: THE SEARCH FOR SASQUATCH", will open in OLYMPIA on OCTOBER 6 and will run for ONE FULL EARTH CYCLE!!!

OSTENSIBLY the exhibit will allow ignorant, sheltered Humans to appreciate some of the richness of SASQUATCH CULTURE through ARTIFACTS and ARTWORK, including an example of a small STONE BUST carved by Sasquatch artisans as souvenirs to commemorate the BELOVED HEAD COACH who led TEAM SASQUATCH to victory over the GRENDEL GEATSLAYERS in the WORLD STOMPER CHAMPIONSHIP of 1407! STOMP!!! STOMP!!! SASQUATCH, STOMP!!!

HOWEVER!!! sports memorabilia aside, the exhibit panders to DISGUSTING HUMAN PRURIENCE by including SASQUATCH HAND AND FOOT CASTS!!! SERIOUSLY, what is with YOU PEOPLE and FEET!?! It also presents, under the guise of "BALANCE", the PREPOSTEROUS PSEUDOSCIENTIFIC "THEORY" that we are a HOAX -- a LIE often repeated by ANTI-SASQUATCH FORCES seeking to STEAL OUR FORESTS FROM US!!! Even the Human reporter above noticed the HIDDEN AGENDA behind these ABSURD CLAIMS:

Look a little closer at the exhibit and you notice it is just as much about the old-growth forests that Sasquatch -- fact or fiction -- calls home as it is anything else.

The reporter quotes Human ROBERT MICHAEL PYLE, author of "Where Bigfoot Walks: Crossing the Dark Divide" -- which I can only assume is some sort of PORNOGRAPHIC INTERSPECIES FOOT-FETISH EROTICA -- admitting that Humans are trying to TAKE OUR LANDS:

"If we manage to hang on to a sizeable chunk of Bigfoot habitat, we will at least have a fragment of the greatest green treasure the temperate world has ever known."

I am beginning to suspect that this exhibit is just more THINLY VEILED PROPAGANDA orchestrated by the WEYERHAEUSER CONSPIRACY!!! CURSE YOU TIMBER MOGUL FRIEDRICH WEYERHÄUSER, BLOOD ENEMY TO ALL SASQUATCH!!!

And to add insult to treachery... NO SASQUATCH WERE INVITED TO THE SASQUATCH EXHIBIT OPENING!!! Instead they will have "SQUATCH", the mascot for the Human handball team "SUPER SONACKS" -- A HUMAN IN A SASQUATCH COSTUME, FOR HOWLING OUT LOUD!!! Do they not understand the OFFENSIVENESS of this "FURFACE" MINSTREL PERFORMER!?! Worse yet, he works for Humans who want to CUT DOWN ALL OUR FORESTS and replace them with HUMAN "STADIUMS"!!!

How would you Humans like it if we had a museum exhibit on HUMAN CULTURE and, instead of inviting any of you, had a SHAVED SASQUATCH TODDLER with UNDERDEVELOPED FEET pretending to be "HUEY THE HUMAN", friendly advocate of PUSHING OVER SKYSCRAPERS and PLANTING TREES IN THEIR PLACE!?! I mean, COME ON!!!

Given its OBVIOUS BIAS and the OUTRIGHT LIES presented, I think I howl for all Sasquatch in howling for a TOTAL HOMINOID BOYCOTT OF THIS EXHIBIT!!! Mark my howl, not a single SASQUATCH, YETI, or even SWAMP APE will show up to VALIDATE your PROPAGANDA!!! THAT WILL SHOW YOU!!!

Lyle Zapato

"Belgium Does Not Exist" Say "Belgians"

Lyle Zapato | 2007-09-17.8010 LMT | Belgian Conspiracy | NWO | Politics

The TRUTH about Belgium is making headlines -- or is it?

On the eve of 100 days of not having a proper government since the country's general election, Belgium appears to be on the brink of division as so-called "Flemings" demand autonomy from so-called "Walloons" -- a recently released poll claims 43% support for succession in Flanders; debates rage in the mainstream press about the current "Belgian Crisis"; even regular "Belgians" are beginning to voice doubt (mediated through the Media, of course) about the existence of "Belgium":

Willy the florist has had enough of his kingdom. He is an unwilling subject of an unloved country. A middle-class father of 12-year-old twins running a thriving flower business in this small Dutch-speaking town on the eastern fringe of Brussels, Willy is reduced to obscene gesturing by the very mention of his country.

"Belgium?" he splutters. "That's something that doesn't exist. The national anthem? Nobody knows it. Nobody can sing it. The king? A parvenu. A dysfunctional family. We're not going to take it any more."

And it's not just angry florists speaking out; even the prime minister designate has said that Belgians have nothing in common except "the king, the football team, some beers" (of course he still keeps up the pretense that Belgium was an "accident of history" and not a carefully plotted conspiracy by a faction of the NWO who wanted to bring all of Europe under their Bureaucratic regime.) The "Crisis" is even forcing the King to get up before noon and go to work!

But does all this really mean that the Belgian Conspiracy is losing control of its fabricated nation, that the citizen nodes are waking up from their Atomium cyberdreams to the reality of their false identities, that the TRUTH about Belgium is finally being revealed? Sadly, I think not.

As I reported last year, the Conspiracy has been testing the waters with separatism in preparation for a new server and vault location in China, to which roughly half of the population of kidnapped "Belgians" will be transferred. The need for this move has become increasingly dire as more and more "citizens" succumb to the black mold that has made parts of the pod vault under Euro-Disneyland uninhabitable.

The current public brouhaha that we are seeing is all a performance intentionally contrived by the Conspiracy for two purposes: 1) it sets the stage for the eventual split of the Brussels Beast's organic processing clusters to two separate locations by providing a explanation within the context of their false narrative for any resulting changes in server connectivity performance, and 2) it allows the Conspiracy to undermine those of us working to expose the TRUTH about Belgium by tying in the public mind the phrase "Belgium does not exist" to esoteric political differences as opposed to the literal, geographic TRUTH that it should represent.

Meanwhile, someone within the Belgian Simulation put the "country" up for sale on EBay for a mere 10 million Euros (the King and his court included for free). However, EBay quickly put a stop to the sale. Interestingly, Ebay spokesman Peter Burin unintentionally let the TRUTH slip when he said that EBay "could not host the sale of anything virtual or 'unrealistic'", both of which certainly describe Belgium.

Lyle Zapato

The Owl Is Listening

Lyle Zapato | 2007-08-31.2850 LMT | Bohemian Grove Cabal | Technology

Documents recently released under FOIA have brought to light a massive surveillance network spying on communications in North America:

The FBI has quietly built a sophisticated, point-and-click surveillance system that performs instant wiretaps on almost any communications device. ... The surveillance system, called DCSNet, for Digital Collection System Network, connects FBI wiretapping rooms to switches controlled by traditional land-line operators, internet-telephony providers and cellular companies. It is far more intricately woven into the nation's telecom infrastructure than observers suspected.

DCSNet is run by an FBI division called Telecommunications Intercept and Collection Technology Unit (TICTU), a black-ops group that, before the release of these documents, was little known outside of the Intelligence Community. (The only Internet reference to them by the US government is a PDF document from Senator Tom Coburn that shows they held a regional training conference in San Diego in 2006.)

Since this story broke, protoparanoids and increasingly disillusioned orthonoids all over the 'Net have been fretting over the panopticonic truth that paranoids have long known. However, they are missing the truly chilling aspect of this new information. Here is the TICTU logo, taken from the crudely scanned documents:

TICTU owl logo

Besides baring a passing resemblance to the UN logo, TICTU's owl motif is important since the owl is the totemic symbol of the Bohemian Grove Cabal, the North American wing of the NWO that operates out of a cultic compound deep in the woods of Sonoma County in occupied Southern Cascadia.

For comparison, here is the Cabalists' logo as it appears on the paper napkins they hand out at their revels:

Cabalist logo

And here is a photo, taken secretly at great risk, of the Cabal's "Cremation of Care" ritual, where hooded figures -- including former and sitting US presidents, leaders of industry, and other high-ranking officials -- burn a human effigy (one hopes!) under the watchful gaze of a giant concrete owl idol (voiced by Walter Cronkite!):

'Cremation of Care' ritual

And of course, the Cabal's kids' mascot, Woodsy Owl (notice the cryptic "NWO" on his belt buckle):

Woodsy Owl

The implications are clear: TICTU is a Cabalist unit within the FBI set up to listen in on all our private communications, the most salacious of which are then no doubt played through the speakers of the Bohemian Grove's concrete owl idol for the perverse amusement of NWO acolytes as they party and scheme in Bacchanalian excess.

(Note: The "enhanced" blue and white version of the TICTU owl with "DCS 3000" under it that Wired created and others are repeating is a poor likeness lacking in detail. The FOIA documents contain screenshots of a TICTU website that has a version presumably better than the scan above, but the site's not accessible to outsiders. If someone can find an original version at higher quality, please let me know.)

Lyle Zapato

Ben Franklin's New Sexcentequinquagemille-Focals

Lyle Zapato | 2007-08-26.4550 LMT | General Paranoia | NWO | Technology

Late in 2008, the US Bureau of Engraving and Printing will issue a revamped $100 bill with a disturbing new feature -- each bill will have embedded in it 650,000 optical lenses.

Ostensibly these lenses are a difficult-to-reproduce security feature designed to befuddle counterfeiters while creating a curious optical illusion:

The lenses magnify the micro-printing in a truly remarkable way.

Move the bill side to side and the image appears to move up and down. Move the bill up and down and the image appears to move from side to side.

To many this may seem an innocent, and even entertaining, new feature -- not unlike the lenticular "Winkin' Lincoln" that I have on good authority will be included on the new $5 bills that will be revealed Sept. 20 -- but paranoids will recognize it for what it really is: a compound eye!

Interleaved among the visible sub-lens-array microprint will undoubtedly be imaging circuitry printed using photosensitive dyes and ferrous inks. The lenses will focus light onto these microimagers and the collected data will be burst-transmitted to the NWO every time a bill passes by one of the RFID sensors now ubiquitous throughout our society. Even though the individual lenses won't be able to resolve detail, advanced interferometric techniques can be applied to the 650,000 data points to generate images sharp enough to spy on the activities of the bill's carrier. Paranoids beware... the bills have eyes!

One might think that this spy bill technology would first be used on $1 bills, since they're more common and already feature the all-seeing eye of the NWO on the back. But $100 bills are the more perversely logical choice for the NWO since they have Benjamin Franklin on them.

Franklin, as paranoid historians and those who read my book are aware, was an instrumental, if unwitting, tool in the creation of the New World Order. Thanks to his involvement in numerous secret societies, including the Freemasons and the Meleagris League (which was a total party secret society, but still...), and his research into mind-control technology, such as his glass armonica (a psychoacoustic device favored by rogue hypnotist Franz Mesmer), Franklin fell in with a bad crowd of cryptocrats and was used to smuggle deeply engineered memetic structures into the documents that would shape the global society of today -- structures whose subtle and unobvious unfoldings have made the machinations of the NWO possible.

And now they're using him to smuggle cameras into our pants pockets. Will poor Ben's indignities never cease?

Lyle Zapato

"Space Sonja and Monorails"

Lyle Zapato | 2007-08-15.6177 LMT | Monorail Danger | Politics | Technology | Letters
Goodspaceguy Nelson

Seattleite Goodspaceguy Nelson is a politician with a very forward-looking agenda: he wants humanity to colonize orbital space. Besides being his passion, orbital colonization was the major platform plank in his unsuccessful 2006 bid for US Senate.

Now that Goodspaceguy is running for King County Council, he has apparently had to put aside that big dream for the time being (there's only so much a Councilman can do in the arena of space colonization, after all,) and is instead focusing on removing restrictions on building height so the people of King County can live in "beautiful, high density communities filled with sky homes" -- slyly encouraging citizens to take baby steps into orbital space.

Intrigued by his bold vision of an orbital future, I wondered what he thought of that other ostensibly futuristic vision that has gripped the region since 1910: the monorail. While monorail fever has become somewhat dormant as of late, there's always the threat that it may flare up again (figuratively and literally) and as a Councilman he may have to address the monorail issue.

I emailed him and the other two contenders for the District No. 8 race to see what are their official positions on monorails. John Potter (R) and Dow Constantine (whom Nelson is running against in the Democratic primary) never bothered to respond, not even with a form letter.

However, Goodspaceguy not only responded, he responded with a fragment-of-fiction, titled "Life in the Colony: Space Sonja and Monorails". Set in the Boeing Blue District of the orbiting space colony at the dawn of orbital colonization, it comprises a Socratic dialog between himself, as a newly elected colony councilor, and Sonja, a "state approved, professional tease" who does performances imitating the spirit of Cher:

To prove that she had been reading, Sonja asked, "When our Boeing orbiting space colony becomes really, really large, do you think that our descendants ... of both we, the current space colonists, and of the new colonists still to be sent up by Boeing and Microsoft and the other space companies of King County ... I mean, do you think they will build space monorails or will they continue to float and glide themselves and their equipment through the zero gravity of space, as we do now?"

Goodspaceguy's position is that monorails are not cost-effective: "To be profitable, monorails require a huge number of people who use them regularly and around the clock ... The government transit systems turn out to be real money losers. The tax payers end up paying for the loss." Instead, as I mentioned above, he proposes high density communities and "24 hour, never-stop, go-go cities" that would get rid of rush hours. As to monorails in the orbital colonies (which I asked him about) he downplays them (and presumably other forms of transit) and suggests that colonists should get exercise by walking in "gravity corridors" to compensate for all their time floating weightlessly.

At the end he includes a poem which sums up his position on monorails nicely:

Monorails, Like Sonja, Can Be Fun!

by Goodspaceguy

Bodaciously beautiful call girls
Are expensively fun like monorails,
But Sonja finds that many would-be riders
Are without sufficient money pails!

The would-be-riders ask, "Oh, who will
Pay for our fun and frenzied riding times?"
Look to the sleeping tax payers. Their pockets
Are filled with dollars and dimes."

Some taxpayers shout, "Please, please stop.
Our dollars and dimes will not be enough!
Let us avoid frenzied transit monorails,
Paying for transit trips will be too tough."

Let us build more homes up in our sky,
And continue to walk under our Sun.
We want sky homes near our work, but we agree
That monorails, like Sonja, would be fun!

Bodaciously beautiful call girls
Are expensively fun like monorails,
But Sonja finds that many would-be riders
Are without sufficient money pails!

(While he may get flack from some for the subject matter, the correspondence of monorails to prostitutes is not undocumented.)

Given his sensible position on monorails (and the rude non-response of his opponents,) we here at ZPi are proud to endorse Goodspaceguy Nelson for King County Council to the people of District 8. I look forward to the day when the mile-high and monorail-free condos of Cascadia are serenaded from orbit with Cher's "Believe."

UPDATE (2006-08-26): Sad to report that Goodspaceguy Nelson lost the Democratic primary to water-taxi proponent Dow Constantine, 8.89% to 90.84%. Just more proof of the inordinate sway that the powerful Water Taxi Lobby holds over the primaries. Remember King Countyites, you can still write-in Goodspaceguy in the general election.

Lyle Zapato

ERROR: Disk Failure!

Lyle Zapato | 2007-08-13.0000 LMT | Site

Our server suffered a disk failure, which knocked us offline since Wednesday. Some things may be missing or not working properly while I reupload the site from back-up and test everything.

UPDATE: I've finished uploading everything. If you see anything amiss, please email me.

Lyle Zapato

An iMac For Paranoids?

Lyle Zapato | 2007-08-07.9660 LMT | Aluminum | Technology | Mind Control | Crass Commercialism
New aluminum iMac

Apple has just introduced their next iteration of the iMac line featuring a styling change sure to grab the attention of paranoids: the body and keyboard are encased in aluminum -- an iMac with it's own AFDB!

Al13

This isn't some trivial design quirk; they go out of their way to emphasize the new aluminum case in their PR campaign, and even include an Al13 Periodic Table square on their design page. (Of course they don't mention the psychotronic properties of aluminum -- no mainstream business would. They merely claim that it makes the iMac "friendlier to the environment" since aluminum is a recycled material.)

So, should aspiring paranoids rush out and get this new iMac? In a word: No.

While having an aluminum computer to match one's aluminum beanie might seem tastefully fashionable to the sort of people who want their computer case to match the UI of their music downloading program, there are, from an anti-psychotronic engineering perspective, serious flaws (or rather devious features) with this design that any true paranoid would notice.

If one were to run active anti-psychotronic software (AAPS) -- for instance, my own MindGuard -- on this Aluminum Enclosed iMac (AEiM), the software would be rendered functionless. Because there's a shielding layer of psychotronic-energy-deflecting aluminum isolating the circuitry running AAPS from the outside world, the software won't be able to detect/analyze mind-control signals or emit jamming/scrambling counter-signals.

Worse still, a poorly programmed AAPS may experience a feedback loop while detecting and responding to its own emitted counter-signals deflected back at itself, which can cause a build-up of psychotronic harmonic resonance in the circuitry leading to a violent discharge. Just try explaining to an AppleCare representative how your new iMac exploded while you were trying to evade the Forces of Mind Control -- you'll end up abducted, brain-formatted, and reprogrammed as an "Apple Genius" drone at one of their indoctrination cubes.

(This isn't the first aluminum-encased computer that Apple has offered. However, unlike the new iMac's continuous-surface aluminum, earlier aluminum-encased tower models were perforated with holes permeable to psychotronic signals -- most likely done for the benefit of Apple's own mind-control programs. I feel that it is no coincidence that just recently I received word that MindGuard was successfully compiled and run on a Mac. Clearly, Apple is locking down their systems to keep out unauthorized AAPS usage.)

Users unaware that their AAPS is being blocked might forego their beanies, not only leaving them open to general mind-control danger, but also to a new, unique danger. Which brings us to the shocking TRUTH about the new iMacs: They are in fact psychotronic deflection mirrors designed to aim signals from mind-control satellites directly at the heads of Mac users!

Diagram of iMac deflective threat
An Apple authorized mind-control satellite (A) targets its psychotron at the glare reflected off of the glass superstrate of the new iMac (i), allowing it to bounce its signals off of the aluminum substrate right into the frontal lobes (L) of a Mac user. Meanwhile, competing mind-control agents (B) have their signals deflected away (?), thus keeping the Mac user within the singular control of Cupertino.

Although I'm sure these revelations are disillusioning to orthonoid Mac users, it really is standard MO for Apple, and in particular Steve Jobs, the man who invented the Reality Distortion Field (a psychotron platform favored by deranged artists, megalomaniacal hipsters, and the smuggest, most turtle-necked members of the New World Order), experimented with trance-inducing psyoptic cases like the "flower power" iMac, and is occasionally controlling the mind of US President Bush (and many others) through the iPod.

Lyle Zapato

GPM #23: Elisa Correr, MEP

Lyle Zapato | 2007-07-31.9800 LMT | Government Propaganda Mascots | Belgian Conspiracy

Elisa Correr is a Member of the European Parliament (MEP) -- or rather, she's a propagandistic cartoon version of what the European Union would like people to think MEPs are like.

Correr's adventures are detailed in a comic titled Operation Red Dragon, published online by the Alliance of Liberals and Democrats for Europe (ALDE). The comic is just one part of a £3.8 billion brainwashing campaign by the EU to inculcate themselves into the hearts and minds of Europeans.

By using her diplomatic street-smarts, barely robed sexuality, and knowledge of parliamentary procedures, the globe-trotting Rapporteur for the Parliamentary Committee on International Trade navigates the murky channels of international intrigue to uncover the schemes of Shao, the corrupt Governer General of the autonomous province of Sin Kiang in the People's Republic of Dong Fang (which is not China, wink wink), and deliver her findings to Parliament in the form of the Correr Report, much to the chagrin of the shadowy forces aligned against her.

Panels from page 6 of Operation Red Dragon
While on a diplomatic mission to Dong Fang, Correr discovers
Tony Liang hiding in her hotel closet. The plot thickens!

"Stalwart liberal" Correr is aided in her investigation by Tony Liang, journalist and amateur voyeur, who has taken photos -- that will soon land him in one of Shao's secret prisons -- of Shao's men receiving crates marked with the logo of the powerful and generically named European Arms Consortium, who have been peddling influence in Parliament to secure a WTO agreement to lift the arms embargo against Dong Fang (whose government is making token concessions to Western counterfeiting and piracy concerns,) thereby allowing the Consortium and Shao free rein to engage in illicit arms dealing.

Panel from page 7 of Operation Red Dragon
Elisa Correr's faith in EU embargoing power is tested.

After undergoing the indignities of an illegal police search and a media smear campaign, receiving thinly veiled death threats, and barely surviving a knife-attack on a train and strangulation by a disguised ninja, Correr finally convinces the Parliament of her report's veracity. Still nursing her knife wound, she gives an impassioned speech advocating Truth, Justice, and the European Union way during a plenary session of Parliament. Pointedly ignoring an MEP likening her story to a "plot of a trashy novel" (this is known as "credulity inoculation" in memetic engineering circles), she finally unleashes, to the applause of the assembled MEPs, a deft parliamentary procedure:

I request that the vote be deferred and that my report be sent to the Parliamentary Committee until further details of the Council's proposal are known.

What follows is a Montage of Wrongs Righted: the head of the Consortium is arrested, Shao's forces are rounded up, and Liang is freed. Having thus saved the day, Elisa Correr is posed the question: Does she have great courage to hold Dong Fang and 27 member states in check? No, not courage; just a few principles -- the principles of the EU which are defended by those selfless Liberal Democratic heroes of the European Parliament!

But are these EU principles what they seem? As every informed paranoid knows, the European Union -- which claims to be headquartered in Brussels -- is actually an elaborate ruse by the Belgian Conspiracy to get Europeans -- and, as Dong Fang learned, eventually everyone else -- to cede their independence to Belgian dominion. The adventures of Elisa Correr certainly aid this pro-Belgian agenda by making the life of an MEP seem as exciting and glamorous as a Hercule Poirot mystery and Tin Tin story combined. The name of the comic is even designed to evoke Belgian superiority; "Operation Red Dragon" was the code-name of a supposed daring rescue by a Belgian parachute battalion of hostages being held by Congolese secessionists in 1964, obviously making an analogy between those secessionists and anyone who would secede from the EU.

This, of course, isn't the first propaganda mascot that the EU wing of the Conspiracy has tried to foist on Europeans; in 2004 I reported on Captain Euro, head of the Twelve Stars Euro Team that, from their secret base under the Atomium in Brussels, works to squash the plans of various goateed villains advocating independence and decentralization.

(Via Bulldada Newsblog.)

Lyle Zapato

The Beast... It Censors

Lyle Zapato | 2007-07-29.2150 LMT | Belgian Conspiracy | Site

It has been brought to my attention that the "Brussels Beast" -- the supercomputer network through which the Belgian Citizen Pods are linked, providing "Belgians" the shared cybernetic illusion of "Belgium" -- has started censoring my page exposing the TRUTH about Belgium (that it doesn't exist).

An operative working deep undercover in the bowels of Euro-Disneyland has sent me the following screenshot showing what some "Belgians" are seeing when they follow links to my page from fellow "Belgians":

Non-"Belgians" should not be affected, as long as they avoid being kidnapped and hooked up to a Citizen Pod. However, if you or someone you know is stuck behind the Brussels Beast firewall inside the Belgian Simulation and are unable to access my page, be patient. I am working with hackers from the European Grendel community on subversive technical means to circumvent this censorship, allowing all victims of the Conspiracy to read my page unrestricted.

Lyle Zapato

Belgian National Anthem?

Lyle Zapato | 2007-07-24.7155 LMT | Belgian Conspiracy

More proof that BELGIUM DOESN'T EXIST:

Yves Leterme
Yves Leterme sings (click for video.)

Top politician forgets Belgian national anthem

Belgium was reeling Monday after the country's likely new prime minister was asked on Belgium's National Day to sing the national anthem and inadvertently launched into the French anthem instead.

Asked Saturday by a reporter from a state television channel, RTBF, to sing the Belgian national anthem, "La Brabançonne," on the day commemorating the accession of King Leopold I of Belgium to the throne in 1831, Yves Leterme, a Flemish politician who is struggling to form a coalition government, smiled at the camera and blurted out, "Allons enfants de la patrie" - the first words of "La Marseillaise."

Pressed by the reporter as to whether he really thought those were the words, Leterme, the head of the Flemish Christian Democrat party, replied: "Oh, I don't know." Shortly afterward, he was filmed making a telephone call on his cellphone during a religious service, and, in a final gaffe, he proclaimed in an interview at the independence festivities that his countrymen were, in fact, celebrating "the proclamation of the Constitution."

Apparently the Belgification process done on Leterme's brain (shortly after he was kidnapped from an IHOP in his home state of Michigan and whisked away to a Citizen Pod under Euro-Disneyland -- this is what happens when you order the waffles) was botched, leading to this unexpected exposure of the lack of coherence to the Belgium ruse during a live propaganda broadcast. The Belgian Conspiracy quickly tried to cover up this flub by hiding the TRUTH inside the lie (bold mine):

Some Belgian commentators said Leterme's ignorance was a healthy sign of a nation free of nationalism. "I can understand why some people think it is ridiculous," said Bernard Bulcke, the European correspondent for De Standaard, the leading Flemish newspaper. "But one must remember that Belgium was an artificial construction, we have been invaded throughout our history by other powers and created by them. Maybe it is positive that nationalism doesn't exist in Belgium. So we can't sing the national anthem. Who cares?"

Leterme was unavailable for comment.

Unavailable because They have him back in the psychotron chamber for reformatting.

(Via those woo-woos at Fark.)