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Lyle Zapato

The Atlantic's AFDO

Lyle Zapato | 2015-10-17.7030 LMT | Aluminum | Mind Control | General Paranoia | Fashion

The new normal: the cover of the November, 2015 issue of The Atlantic features an Aluminum Foil Deflector Onesie (AFDO):

The image is for an article, titled "If You're Not Paranoid, You're Crazy", about life in our surveillance society.

Unfortunately, the editors of the normally orthonoiac magazine overlooked one of the most important parts of deflector shielding: camouflage. While you would certainly be safe from mind control in an AFDO, the Surveillance Machine would immediately notice your paranoid tendencies should to walk around in public like the cover model, and would quickly dispatch a van to abduct and render you to a black-site reprogramming facility.

As we awaken to a new Paranoid Age, when more and more realize that all is not as we have been told and even our own thoughts may lie to us, it is important that people aren't misled by dilettantes among the nouveau paranoïde -- or worse, agents of misinformation working for the forces of mind control -- into unsound paranoid practices that will expose them to capture or even total mental liquidation.

Always cover your beanie, onesie, or any other deflective shielding to avoid detection (search "kigurumi" for AFDO camo options -- thanks to the Japanese, wearing panda pajamas in public is now considered only mildly eccentric).

Remember: discretion is the better part of paranoia.

End of post.