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Radical Sasquatch

HOWL: CRYPTOPERVERSION FUNDS JENGLOT RESEARCH!!!

Radical Sasquatch | 2006-09-16.0500 LMT | Sasquatch Issues

Human media squeaks that Cryptopervert organization "SEEKERS-MALAYSIA" are bartering MAWAS FOOTPRINT MOLDS for Human money that they will use to conduct JENGLOT RESEARCH:

The group Seekers-Malaysia, which has a reality TV program in Malaysia, said money raised from the sale of the alleged sasquatch footprint would be used to research the "three mummified ghouls," and to purchase new paranormal equipment, said spokesman Adrin Emman.

The three supposed shriveled, skeletal-like creatures with razor-sharp teeth were provided for research purposes by their owner Bukhari Abdullah for two weeks. Pictures released by the group show one figure no larger than a human hand, while another appears to be the length of a human body.

Their SICK FOOT-FETISHISM will directly benefit the Human Malaysian government's ANTI-HOMINOID EFFORTS!!!

AS YOU MAY RECALL FROM MY PREVIOUS HOWL, I believe Humans are trying to unlock the SECRETS OF JENGLOTS -- pesky little vampires that get in your fur and WILL NOT LEAVE YOU BE!!! -- as part of a CONSPIRACY TO GENETICALLY ENGINEER A SUPER JENGLOT that the Human government hopes will ANNOY MAWAS into leaving their land so MONO RAILS can be built on it!

SOME SASQUATCH HAVE CALLED MY CONSPIRACY HOWL UNLIKELY!!! But consider this: Recently Human researchers at Universiti Malaya made the startling discovery that THE HAIR OF MUMMIFIED JENGLOTS CONTINUES TO GROW!!! If they can ISOLATE AND ENHANCE the gene that causes this they can make HYPERTRICHOTIC JENGLOTS that get tangled up in Hominoid fur making them IMPOSSIBLE TO REMOVE!!! Do you really trust Humans enough to risk being INFESTED with THOSE!?!

HOWL TO ALL HOMINOIDS EVERYWHERE: practice good PEDAL HYGIENE and COVER YOUR TRACKS!!! Otherwise you might be funding THE FORCES OF GLOBAL PESTERISM!!!

End of post.