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Lyle Zapato

GPM #2: NRO Characters

Lyle Zapato | 2004-08-19.7000 LMT | Government Propaganda Mascots

NRO Jr. Characters

The US National Reconnaissance Office designs, builds, and operates one of the largest global mind-control satellite networks. Their NRO Junior site aimed at kids has four propaganda mascots: Dana Drop (a parachute), Earth Watch (the Earth), Whirly Lizard (a green Reptilian), and Corey Corona (a freakish rocket person). The characters themselves are poorly developed (I mean, come on, the Earth is a character and he's named "Earth Watch"?) and they all speak in the same wacky voice, but they still manage to forward the NRO's agenda:

  • Whirly Lizard is designed to promote human sympathy for the Reptilians, a dimensional-gating paraterrestrial species with little interest in psychotronic technologies who are the NRO's strategic allies against the Reticulans (AKA "Grey Aliens"), a major mind-control-satellite competitor.
  • There's a crafts section that shows kids how to make their own passive relay mind-control satellite model covered in aluminum foil. This model is fully functional and, if placed on a shelf in your child's room, will allow the NRO to target him or her with deflected psychotronic signals while sleeping.

In their "Story" section, a voice-over breathlessly promises that four additional mascots called the Satellite Rescue Agents are coming soon. No information is given about them other than their being hovering human heads with solar panels and various psychotronic devices attached. One has a fireman's helmet, one looks like a Borg, one is the Noid from Domino's Pizza, and I think the last one might be Ernie Hudson.

End of post.