Welcome:Hello, and welcome to Zapato Productions intradimensional! I—your humble site creator—am pleased to offer you a wide selection of amazing discoveries, important theories, life-enriching tools, and other more frivolous diversions, an index of which appears below. Please take the time to browse through the site thoroughly, as every little bit is vital to a complete understanding of the whole. In fact, you should browse through it many times, as some content is only accessible in the fourth dimension. Furthermore, do try to read the site backwards and, if you get the time, in ROT13. You will be glad you did. Have a question? Read the FAQ! Thank you, and enjoy your visit, Informative Tracts:
Innovative Research:
Cascadian Concerns:
Kelviniana:
Amazing Downloads:
Serviceable Services:
Fanatical Fandom:
Metacontent:
Merchandise:Book:
(Also available on Amazon.com) The definitive guide to aluminum foil brain shielding. All the budding paranoid needs to know to fight the nefarious forces of mind control. Includes:
ISBN 1581603762. 179 pages and numerous illustrations. Published by Paladin Press. Cafepress Shops:Because everybody loves mugs! (If anyone is interested in having other images from the site slapped on t-shirts and thongs, let me know.)
Cavalcade of Causes:Contact Mr. Zapato:NOTE: I'm again having probs with my primary email, so use the alt for the time being... Email:
lyle@zapatopi.net (primary) Hey! Sign my Thanks:Special thanks to Alan Clegg
|
What's New:
Index page updated: 2007-03-30
Intradomain Log:HOWL: HUMANS KEEP DEAD HOMINOID IN FREEZER!!!Radical Sasquatch | 2008-08-13.1150 LMT | Sasquatch IssuesHUMANS HAVE A DECEASED HOMINOID AND THEY PLAN TO SHOW ITS CORPSE TO OTHER HUMANS THIS FRIDAY DURING A GHASTLY "NEWS CONFERENCE"!!! Humans MATTHEW WHITTON and RICK DYER claim they found the Hominoid victim already dead in NORTHERN "GEORGIA" (this is the Human name for an area in the SWAMP APE STOMPING GROUNDS, not the other area Humans also call "GEORGIA" in the ALMASTY FEDERATION -- HUMAN SQUEAK IS LIMITED SO THEY MUST CONFUSINGLY REUSE NAMES!!!) Instead of reporting the corpse to the PROPER SWAMP APE AUTHORITIES, they took it to their den and, like HUMAN PSYCHOPATHS often do, put it in a "FREEZER" -- a SMALL, COLD BOX that Humans use to store FROZEN FOOD!!! They then contacted known CRYPTOPERVERT and SASQUATCH STALKER, TOM BISCARDI, seeking to publicize the event to other CRYPTOPERVERTS and HUMAN SICKOS who want to LEER AT OUR DEAD!!! They have even CRUELLY AND SHAMELESSLY released photos of the victim IN THE FREEZER!!! I LACK SUFFICIENT HOWLS TO CONVEY MY OUTRAGE!!! The IDENTITY and TRIBALALITY of the deceased is UNKNOWN, as is the CAUSE OF DEATH, but I suspect HOMINOIDICIDE!!! SASQUATCH MILITIA has offered its services to the local Swamp Ape authorities in recovering the body, which the CRYPTOPERVERTS claim is being held in a "secure location, under armed guard"! If, once the body's location is known, it cannot be recovered, it -- AND ANY HUMANS IN THE VICINITY -- will be given a PROPER BURIAL under a MOUNTAIN OF BOULDERS!!! UPDATE (2008-08-19): I have just heard howl that the Humans who have the corpse are now claiming that IT WAS ALL A HOAX!!! I, for one, DO NOT BELIEVE THIS CLAIM!!! MATTHEW WHITTON, RICK DYER, and TOM BISCARDI foolishly misjudged the reaction from the Sasquatch community to their STEALING OUR DEAD and are now trying to cover it all up to avoid SASQUATCH RAGE!!! Sasquatch Militia foot soldiers have been deployed to Georgia since last week in search of the Humans' CORPSE CACHE so that the deceased may be recovered and returned to his or her loved ones, and the guilty Humans BROUGHT TO JUSTICE!!! But now the Humans are on the lam and spreading unlikely rumors that the corpse was just a FUR SUIT of some sort! Why would they flee if it wasn't a REAL corpse!? THEIR FLEEING CLEARLY SHOWS THAT THEY ARE GUILTY OF HOMINOID CORPSE SNATCHING, OR POSSIBLY WORSE!!! CORPSE SNATCHERS, HEAR MY HOWL!!! Return the deceased Hominoid to the Sasquatch Militia or local Swamp Ape authorities and you may yet get out of this with YOUR LIMBS INTACT!!! WE ONLY SEEK CLOSURE!!! Jiu-Jitsu Lessons From Roosevelt's InstructorLyle Zapato | 2008-08-06.1890 LMT | Defensive Techniques | Random Found Thing
Lord Kelvin & The Olympic Water CubeLyle Zapato | 2008-08-05.0220 LMT | Kelviniana | Entertainment | TechnologyIn 1887, Lord Kelvin, in a paper titled "On the Division of Space with Minimum Partitional Area", sought a way of partitioning space using a foam of equal-sized cells with a minimum surface area. His solution, known as the Kelvin structure, consisted of repeating tetrakaidecahedra with slightly curved faces.
It wasn't until 106 years later that Denis Weaire and Robert Phelan discovered (aided by advanced computer software that would have taken millions of years of run time on a standard Victorian era difference engine,) a solution that had 0.3 percent less surface area than the Kelvin structure. However, their solution, the Weaire-Phelan structure, uses two different shaped cells instead of Kelvin's simpler single cell solution. As the New York Times reports, the wall and roof structure of the new Beijing National Aquatics Center, also known as the Water Cube, is based on the Weaire-Phelan solution to the Kelvin Problem. The building's designer, Tristram Carfrae, tilted the structure 60° to give the surface an almost random look (although it does repeat its pattern). According to this 2004 article, it was for this pseudo-irregular "organic quality" that the Weaire-Phelan structure was chosen over the Kelvin structure, which was originally considered. Cephalopod Appreciation Society Annual MeetingThe Typing Octopus | 2008-08-01.8830 LMT | Cephalopods | Cascadia | Field Trips | AnnouncementTyping Octopus find human communication on Hominoidnet kiosk: think ZPi humans will appreciate:
Humans appreciate octopus: Humans also appreciate stupid squid, needy cuttlefish, haughty nautilus: Humans have no discernment. Regardless: Typing Octopus desire to start Primate Appreciation Society. However: Typing Octopus have discernment: only appreciate gibbons. Gibbons share tree appreciation with Typing Octopus: Typing Octopus think gibbons, tree octopus become friends. Proposal: gibbons, tree octopus compete at quadannual event testing arboreal locomotion skill. Event held in tree octopus native forest: event called: The Olympic Forest Tentaculation/Brachiation Competition Event For Tree Octopus/Gibbon Friendship. If gibbons appreciate proposal: turn fur purple with white spots. Typing Octopus await reply. Welcome to Stamp Nook! Today we look at hyperinflation and stamps. Amateur notaphilists across the Internet have recently been gawking at a Z$100 billion bank note from Zimbabwe. While the economic situation in Zimbabwe is certainly troubling, it is not the worst incident of inflation run amok, and other, more shocking, hyperinflationary scars can be seen in the world of stamp denominations: The most famous incident of hyperinflation during the stamp-issuing era was in Germany in the early 1920s. Regular German postal stamps issued just prior to 1922 ranged from a couple of pfennig to no more than 20 mark. In 1922, values went up a bit, with one series ranging from 100 to 500 mark, but it was 1923 when things really started to go south (or rather north). The pfennig gave way to the mark, which soon gave way to the tausend mark. The inability to keep up with inflation by printing new, higher denominated stamp series required that older issues be hastily surcharged with denominations in the thousands to millions.
German postal hyperinflation reached a crescendo with two stamps (Scott #299 and #305) both denominated at 50 milliarde (50 billion) mark. These were, of course, the highest denominated stamps in their respective series, used for mailing packages and the like (at least until inflation overtook their value). However, the lowest denominations in those series were still an impressive 500,000 and 10 million, respectively. Even worse than the Weimar Republic's hyperinflation was what Hungary experienced in 1946, when the highest denominated stamp (#774) was a dove and letter design with a printed value of 500,000 billio-pengő -- that's 500 quadrillion pengő! (A few years earlier, a comparable, high-end stamp would have cost only 80 fillér, which was less than 1 pengő.) The cheapest stamp in that series was 1 trillion pengő -- convenient for sending a postcard to Aunty Yllona! (Note that the Hungarian billio is in the traditional long scale, so it is equal to a modern trillion. They also printed three stamps, #757-759, in milliards, or modern billions, before inflation made even that unit impractical.) For comparison to Zimbabwe's current currency situation, the highest denominated bank note issued by the Reichsbank was 100 trillion mark in 1924, while Hungary had the highest denominated bank note ever at 100 quintillion pengő in 1946. That's a lot of pengő! I have only lightly scratched the surface of this topic. Hyperinflation is especially interesting to philatelists who collect covers, as the drastic changes in postal rates often led to envelops being themselves enveloped in increasingly devalued stamps. For more on hyperinflationary topical collecting, see "Hyperinflation offers an engaging pursuit", by Rick Miller. Until next time, happy philateling! Lord Kelvin & Color CodesLyle Zapato | 2008-07-29.1140 LMT | Kelviniana | Technology | Crass CommercialismIn his 1899 speech given after Sir George Stokes read his paper "On the Perception of Colour" at the Victoria Institute, Lord Kelvin casually predicted the future:
That's right, Lord Kelvin foresaw the common use of color codes on the Web! Kelvin's idea went even further though, to real world color specification via numerical strings. Unfortunately, the average consumer still can't purchase pretty ribbons or other such things custom dyed from an RGBLK string sent to the shop. (I smell a Web 2.0 business potential...) |
The contents of this website are Copyright © 1997-2008 Lyle Zapato, All Rights Reserved, unless otherwise noted.